Am I too obvious?

Question

i wonder if I'm too obvious in my attraction to my friend. Whenever we talk i look straight into her eyes, we wink at each other. I always have a half smile and joke all the time. Whenever I get anything or have anything i always offer it to her. Whenever we got out I pay (even though she says she'll pay me back), but I always pay on my card. I open the door for her. I buy her stuff all the time. I email her all through out the day. When we stand and talk to someone she puts her arm on my shoulder and leans on me or fixes my collar and pats my shoulder. I always compliment her hair and lately her eyes a lot. She smiles and flutters them as if she's embarressed (jokingly). If she needs anything she comes to me and she knows I won't say no. I told her today when I get a car in the next week i'll take her wherever, no asking, it should be expected and if i can't she can barrow it. So do you think she know that i'm in love with her? Is it obvious? or do you think she thinks I'm just nice?

she has told me that i'm one of the few people who are truly nice. but i'm not very passive. i do sense sexual tension sometimes. like when we're out together and we catch each others glance, theres this spark. but i get scared and i then act like i do something stupid. like today i told her i needed friends so i don't spend all my time with one person and wear them out. She asked me who i was talking about. i told her another friend. the rest of the day she was in a serious solemn mood and she went on about her getting her own car soon. Did i also hurt her feelings by this or did she get jealous? Am i confusing her?

Answer 1

Well, ITS OBVIOUS TO ME. But, I'm always looking for signs : ) she may be a 'little dense' and think:

1) your lonely and your "paying for friends" Please don't be offended by my saying this, I'm sure she does love you on some level, WHO COULDN'T? Your kind, generous, sharing, unassuming, I'm gay, and hell, I'd marry you! But, not everyone is "on the ball" as the rest of us.

2) she may believe your in love with her, but will never say anything for fear of ruining the friendship.

3) she may be waiting for you to say something!

4) who KNOWS? That's just it, WE don't know and you won't either until you ask! So, gently but firmly ask if you can 'move' your friendship to the next level or "just remain friends."

Either way, let her know you are her true friend and don't want to lose her as that. Your a good person, you sound truly selfless and thoughtful, so stay that way, no matter what happens and you'll end up happy with someone else! You deserve that!

Answer 2

AdamKadmon is hit the nail on the head. he knows exactly what he is talking about.

you should be the one to ask her how she feels and you should tell her how you feel. if there is this much confusion, you two are well over due for a talk. but make sure that she knows that if she doesn't feel the same way towards you, that there is no pressure to enter a relationship.

it sounds to me like you have a pretty good gig going on anyway.

Answer 3

Some people can be very oblivious. It almost sounds like she's oblivious to your affections, though she may have feeling towards you too based on some of what you said. JUST TELL HER ALREADY!

Answer 4

it will drive you to insanity if you do not resolve this and it sounds like it will have to be you who makes the first move to come clean about your feelings. don't hurt her anymore though or she might run away without you ever finding out

Answer 5

I think she likes you and you hurt her feelings. If you really like her don't scare her away.

Answer 6

If she doesn't, she's too stupid to matter. Go ahead, TELL Her! Say it out LOUD! :)