ok so my brother just came out of the closet today...and this to me is no suprise... ive known for a while... but my parents on the other hand... uh holy ****... you would think that it was the end of the world!!! so what hes gay who cares? can any one help me by giving me ideas about what i can say to my parents to calm them down a bit... please?
2007-01-17 13:07:56 · 11 answers · asked by The Jew 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Since there are many misconceptions about gay people, your parents most likely think being gay is wrong and are asking themselves what they did wrong.
First, being gay is a natural occurrence. It is not believed to be hereditary, and is only a random occurrence. Your parents did not make him that way, it is just who he is.
Second, if your parents have taught you to be honest, your brother's coming out shows that he is an honest person and does not want to hide an important part of who he is as a person.
Third, ask your parents if they would like your brother to have a miserable life by pretending to love someone that he is not attracted to just to 'fit in'.
Fourth, and most importantly, you have GOT to be there for your brother. You need to support him and also show your parents that he will not be shunned by others for the simple fact of being gay.
Also, please show your parents the website I will give under sources and encourage them to talk to other parents of gay children.
2007-01-17 13:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
go to www.pflag.org They have a lot of information and links to helpful sites. Or just type : "Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays" into any search engine and you will find a number of links. These sites have info for parents who are still at the "upset stage" and info for friends who are trying to help parents accept that they have a gay child.
2007-01-17 13:19:08 · answer #2 · answered by Hmmmm 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
okay... truth is... life to them is over... for now... but its their son... they can't change it... no matter how much they try... and its not like their son changed in any way... it's still dear old "Johnny boy".... and its not like life is over... i mean... you're not right... so grand children will still come... hell be happy... you're gonna be happy... and now life just got interesting... they can't change the world and it's obviously not over... so might as well make the best of it... the only people hurt are them... and now they're making his life worse... sometimes life doesn't come easy... but we learn to deal with it... i mean, are they really gonna cut off their son from the family and everything... just because they have a problem with it... i guess what i'm trying to say is... everything's gonna be okay... cuz even though it seems bad now... eventually everything will heal... and we can spend the rest of this time hating what just happened... well have to grow up and get over it (okay maybe not like that)....
(so i guess you get the idea)
2007-01-17 13:19:12 · answer #3 · answered by DR. Connect 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does this change the love that they hold for your brother? Does this suddenly make him non-human? If they suddenly lost your brother, would the pain be less if he weren't gay? Good luck and congrats for being understanding!
2007-01-17 13:12:42 · answer #4 · answered by WhiteChocolate 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, good for you for supporting your brother. my brother couldn't care less when I told him, either. we still get along great. parents can be different. they are in shock....they are in denial. give them a little time for it to sink in. he's their son. as previous posters mentioned, check into PFLAG to see if they have any meetings near you, and hopefully, you can encourage them to go. if they love their son, they will want them to be happy.
2007-01-17 13:42:33 · answer #5 · answered by redcatt63 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let them know he is still their child and he did not choose to be gay, nor is it their fault. It's just nature taking its course and no matter what, you are all still a family
2007-01-17 15:49:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Treat him just the way you have been treating him and disregard the peoples attention on him about it. For the truth is, he is your brother and you don't induce your own identity into him as you yourself have one to recon with.
2007-01-17 13:12:23 · answer #7 · answered by wacky_racer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i will pray for your brother and his situation. but not for you because this is HIS PROBLEM! you should keep out of this. it is his battle to fight, but if you need to help him lift the sword that is fine. you should give emotional support to your brother and be there to coach him IF he needs it.
a thing i might suggest for your brother to say, "Mom and dad, me bieng gay does not change my personality or character. i am still your son. i was born this way. so if you have accepted me before, you should still accept me now."
2007-01-17 13:45:15 · answer #8 · answered by happyinblue 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Try PFLAG the can give you some tips and info for your parents
2007-01-21 12:12:34 · answer #9 · answered by TIGGER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That it isn't a big deal....and they loved him before they knewn....so why stop now....yea....maybe it was a shock to them.....but now it is time to show him he's their SON!....not a possetion!.....love him....no matter who he loves....he's still him!...
2007-01-17 13:14:45 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♣♠Dragon Dust♠♣♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋