My son has been a poop head for about a year. Never really listens and has not been real productive when it comes to working to earn his own money ect.. Although he never asks us for money. He is in his second semester in college. The first semester he barely made it through. He has to repeat one of the classes he took. We have told him not to get caught drinking repeatedly before he left for college. In fact a week before he left for college he almost got busted by the cops in his home state. We are a Christian Home and have no alcohol, and really don’t approve of it, but are not preachy about it. Now he just informed us that he has been charged in by the police for the second time with Alcohol Possession. He has 13 days to pay the 500 dollar fine or he will be arrested. He has no money because he has not worked since July! Do I front him the money to pay the fine? I love him but really need him to learn. I don’t want to enable his stupid behavior either! Thanks!
2007-01-17 12:58:50 · 8 answers · asked by Mark G. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would pay the fine --this time. Then I would tell him that his grades better improve. I would also tell him this is the last time you will help with this problem. I'm only saying this because all young people make stupid mistakes.
2007-01-17 13:04:28 · answer #1 · answered by StormyC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to learn from his mistakes. Why doesn't he work? I wouldn't pay his fine because you'll probably never see that money again and he probably won't appreciate it. If he can't figure out a way to raise the money for the fine, then let him face the music. He needs to learn that his actions have consequences and that he needs to take responsibilities for his actions! These are probably the best lessons you could teach your son.
2007-01-17 22:16:11 · answer #2 · answered by Super Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pay the find directly for him (dont hand him the money, cause he may use it for something else and end up in jail anyway). But after you pay it tell him "now i own you for 500 dollars. Either you pay me back weekly or you will work your money off doing chores, etc" If he doesnt comply you can stop paying for college or have him live somewhere else during vacations.
2007-01-18 01:44:49 · answer #3 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard question... being a college student myself... I would say talk to him... say that you will pay the fine under specific conditions.. that he get his butt in gear and start applying himself... college is expensive and if he is just waisting his time and your money he might as well just get a job.... tell him that you are disappointed and you thought you taught him better. That from now on, certain grades are expected and if anything else goes wrong he is on his own... and that he needs a job, and learn to budget... I hope this helps ... a college students perspective...
2007-01-17 21:07:22 · answer #4 · answered by D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm you told ur son not to get caught? how about dont drink ! I would pay his fine this time but tell hi next time he gets three hots and a cott---were u guys a little legalistic with him?> perhaps he is testing the waters---does he have the necessary tools to make good choices? anyway good luck
2007-01-17 21:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Time for tuff love. He got imself in trouble he needs to figure out how to get out of it. If you bail him out of this one what lesson is learned? Jail is not the worst thing that could happen to him, being dead from alcohol poisoning is.
2007-01-17 21:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by tiki/more 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give him a job or help find 1 make sure he has 2 WORK and help pay the fine dont pay all of it just help
God bless
2007-01-17 21:21:11 · answer #7 · answered by ashley h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds tough but, let him deal with it. If you keep bailing him out he will never learn. It was the best lesson my parents ever gave me.
2007-01-17 21:41:37 · answer #8 · answered by bettylou 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋