Why is chivalry dead?

Question

Today, I was disgusted. I'm living in Texas and we're having some ice problems. I had to go out so I spent an hour and a half filling jugs of water to pour on my car to de-ice it. I'm plodding into the house, filling the jugs, going out into the cold, dumping it on my car. I'm putting towels on the ground so I don't slip. I'm trying to
dig the ice off my windshield, etc...... across the street are three men staring at me. They have successfully de-iced their two auto's and are just standing around. They are WATCHING me struggle and don't do a thing to offer any help. Now, I am a capable woman, don't get me wrong. But I am a person who has always offered help to anyone who I see struggling with something, regardless of their sex. It's not a damsel in distress thing, ok? I'm a capable, strong woman. But once in awhile I'd like someone like Leopold (from Kate and Leopold) to ride up on a horse and resue me. But why won't most men do this anymore?

Interesting answers! I agree to some extent that women have contributed to this problem. But I'm not one of them, nor do I feel I'm alone. I think there are many women left who would love a man to assist them if needed. I always thank a man for opening a door for me (on the rare occasion they do). I'd thank a woman who did so also. And I have opened doors for men and women who have their hands full, I don't discriminate after observing their sex. So, I would like to let men everywhere know that this woman loves men and admires the fact that they are strong, can protect and help women. Please feel free to do so more often, even if some rude women ignorantly chastise you!

Answer 1

What a lot of people seem to be forgetting is that it's basically about manners, and doing unto others; "home training," I like to call it. (Chivalry is something else entirely, and belongs in the middle ages). I open doors for men and women, hold doors, offer my umbrella if someone is going out and I'm staying in (or offer to hold it for them if we're both going out), let people merge into traffic, offer to let people borrow my notes if they missed class, help people pick up things if they drop them. That's just polite, and I don't think it applies to just one sex. EVERYONE should help others, whether they are male or female, and whether or not the person they are helping is one or the other. Why does this have to be about the "war between the sexes?" I think it's about manners.
I don't get it...is this a regional thing? Because where I'm from (the South) men AND WOMEN hold doors for each other, I have NEVER seen anyone get pissed off about it. So many men are saying women bite their heads off if they offer help...never seen this happen. I do occasionally politely (POLITELY) decline help if I think the person would be too "put out," or it's not necessary, but I've never seen anyone decline genuine and sincere help if needed because of some idea of...feminism?
And "Barking Lunchbox" is right, it DOES boil down to self-centeredness.

Answer 2

A most decisive and resounding NO! Chivalry is not dead, but it has largely fallen by the wayside because people don't know what to do with it when it's offered. Gallantry is now mistaken for creepiness.

Answer 3

Chivalry is dead because it is based on paternalism, which is a facet of "patriarchy".

Paternal behaviour has been associated with oppression and sexual perversion by feminism.

Add to this that women have been DEMANDING independence and being offended when "patronised" or simply due to not requiring chivalry milking it for what it is worth and not being in the slightest bit grateful and you have men that are not only PUNISHED for chivalry but don't particularly care to "take care of" women either.

When feminists complain about chivalry they are complaining about the successful results of feminism - therefore being so contradictory that they cannot make up their minds about anything and frankly proving they aren't competent enough decision makers to vote.

EDIT: No. You are responsible. The moment you say you are a "strong competent woman" you opt out of needing chivalry at the same time as you failed to realise you need adult supervision (although it seems like you need adult supervision because you can't take responsibility, ironically).

Answer 4

I can understand your problem. But as women have become liberated from feminism. Many men like myself try to help women at but was turn down. Another problem as come to this world is the creepy men at there hurting women. It easier for a women to give help then a man can. A women want to help where the man might have other things on his mind.

Answer 5

Sorry, Ms Gail.

The feminists have got everything all hosed up.

We men don't know when to act and when not to act anymore.

God forbid we men offer to open doors, carry packages, as one said, change a tire, women are touchy about compliments,
and some are even touchy about the way men look at them, even though they are dressed to the nines as they say.

Sorry Ms Gail, ya'll women brought this on yourselves and the women folks just cannot have it both ways.

So, until you find someone who appreciates you without his head being taken off you'll have to just carry your own water.

Answer 6

Women SHOULD behave and be treated like ladies.

Men SHOULD behave and be treated like gentlemen.

Both are increasingly uncommon.

The very loudest of voices have proclaimed that women are absolutey equal to men in every way. And should be treated no differently.

Secondly, in everyday life many women have become very agressive in their behavior, rejecting the ladylike demeanor of previous generations.

Your neighbors reasoned that, since men and women are "equal" now, they should treat you just like they treated each other. They didn't expect help from each other and therefore didn't help you.

You can thank the loudest of voices for this.

Sad, but true.

Answer 7

I really don't know what happened to 'real men' with manners.
If you locate any - please let me know.
I had a similar thing happen to me a few years ago;
My daughter-in-law and I went to Home Depot to purchase some siding. The siding was loaded in the truck and while she was driving back to my home a car load of teenagers pulled up next to her. She thought she heard them say some derogatory to her, stepped on the gas and my siding slid out the back of the truck and onto the road. She said "oops!" I replied "oops - what?" She replied "your siding is in the intersection". I yelled at her "stop. I'm not letting $300 sit in an intersection. Back up!"
She backed into the intersection, tieing traffic all up. We begun to pick the stuff up and the first one to our rescue was a woman. A man, in a 4 wheel drive truck, drove around the pile of siding, gave us the finger and sped off. The one lady went back to her car, looked at the car behind her, approached the car and yelled at the 2 men to come help. I just couldn't believe it; a woman was the first one to help us and the men had to be ordered to help us.
Just don't know what the world is coming to.

Answer 8

dunno. I would have. Despite what everybody thinks about me.

I don't hold individuals responsible for the rantings of media mouthpieces.

But I had my car break down in the mountains in West Virginia in a snowstorm (where I couldn't get a cellphone signal) and got passed by a bunch of females that looked genuinely terrified that I even tried to get their attention (hell, all I was going to ask them to do was call somebody when they got to a place where they could), and finally got a ride to the gasser with a toothless old boozer in a heap of s*hit truck that I was really grateful decided to break the law that night and drive drunk.

Almost nobody gives a s*hit about helping anybody else anymore. What's in it for them? Not so much sexism as general self-centered shittiness. And paranoia.

It sucks, whatever it is.

Answer 9

Because you can't have both chivalry and womens lib. When you get cussed out for opening a door for a lady-by the "lady" you really lose any sense of chivalry real fast. I would have come over and helped anyhow. Some guys have no class.

Answer 10

Rap Music