14 yrs married. I am very frustrated, stress-out and going crazy with her (performance-wise) as a wife-that does not know how to take care of a hardworking man-[the proper way]. I am now starting to look for another woman (a new wife). Someone who can ACCEPT ME the way I am, without hateing me, for who I am, me for me. There is tons and tons of turn-offs from this particular-woman and hardly no turn-ons for me (performance-wise). I am not HAPPY with her performance, as a wife. I want out. I want to know, if is greener on the other side, with another woman, who can perform, as a extreme careing wife. Basically, someone who like/loves the exact same things in life-that I like/love/enjoy out of life in general.
2007-01-17 12:31:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe you're not up to par in your wife's eyes either. Try talking about it, go to counseling. If your relationship has run it's course and you're ready to move on, then be adult about it. Tell her, serve her with divorce papers, THEN go pursue other avenues, but don't start cheating. You're an adult, act like one. To cheat just because YOUR needs aren't being met, is just plain selfish.
2007-01-17 12:45:22 · answer #1 · answered by mistresscris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To get something from a woman, you need to give something to the woman. Perhaps you aren't behaving in a way that makes her want to care for you. Perhaps she has no idea what you expect her to do. In any case, shopping for a new wife is a bad idea. After 14 years, you owe your marriage a chance. Try talking things over with your wife and listen to what she has to say. Consider her point of view as you want her to consider yours. If necessary, see a marriage counselor. Give it a real try with your whole heart.
If that fails and you still want to divorce, then do the decent thing and inform your wife, file papers and move out before you begin looking for a new spouse.
Do not go into it thinking the grass is greener. You will most likely be legally obligated to provide your wife and children(if you have any) with financial support. There will be a division of property, the marital home, cars and debt. Since you were married for a long time, you won't walk away with everything you have now. You will also be expected to do for yourself what your wife does for you. You will be dating and it isn't as easy to find someone new as you might think. You will be without the companionship that your wife provides for you. This isn't a decision to be taken lightly and you should consider all possible ramifications.
2007-01-17 12:58:18 · answer #2 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wrong,,,, Was it not,,,,for better or worse ,,,,For richer or poorer,,, When my wife got marred she new very little
She was a virgin,, I know what you going throw Been there, done that,,, But the thing is,,, We stayed together and we Leaned about how each other felt and needed,, Sex is very impotent to us even after all these years ,,,Even if I am not satisfied that night I make sure she is,,, I will never make her feel like she doesn't take care of me,, Now I wouldn't want any one else,,, My wife and I have been together for 31 years Maybe you need to were her shoes for a week,,, I did and it change my life ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,A WOMAN JOB IS NOT A EASY ONE,,,,,,,,,, But most husbands don't take time see that part,, I did Don't be so quick to give up on her,,,,, One day she will be the best thing in your life ,,,,,I know my wife is,,,,,BUT you have to want it to work out to make it work ,,,Or it wont,,,,Good luck to you and your wife,,,, See what she thinks,,,Maybe you will be surprised, She might think you could do a better job to satisfied her'''' you think'''' [ its worth fixing ]
2007-01-17 13:16:50 · answer #3 · answered by bill_ray56 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The 'tone' of your question is a little disturbing. You use words like "performing" and "hardworking man" and talk about how you are already starting to look for another wife like you are trading her in or something. Women aren't objects that are there just to please men. Maybe you are just that frustrated but if you say things to her like "why aren't you performing", the problem may have a lot to do with how you are treating her. Let me tell you something about women....if you screwed up in the past, you will have to be a prince for a long long time before she is able to move past it. I am not going to assume you did something wrong, but I thought I should say it just in case you did. You don't sound like you are in love with your wife and maybe you have good reasons for it, but you should realize that no one is perfect and even the strongest couples have their disagreements. If you are already looking for someone else, than it is probably too late for both of you. Understand this - you will never find someone with character who walks around agreeing with you all the time and saying "you can do anything you want to and I'll still be here for you to kick around". Maybe that isn't what you mean, but you sound like you are looking for someone to cook, clean, satisfy you sexually and keep her mouth shut. Please tell me I'm wrong.
2007-01-17 12:48:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not always an easy thing. You have invested 14 years of your life to your wife. I think you would sit down and have a conversation with her instead of writting your feelings down in here.
As far as looking for someone else a wise women once said to me " You can have me and all of your crap or you can have her and less than half of your crap".
It is something to think about.
2007-01-17 12:46:46 · answer #5 · answered by tomimegi 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you go to the greener side, look at a personals sight, notice how many ladies want you to make them laugh, make them happy, wow them, just know it's not as easy as it seems to meet someone that doesn't want to "fix you" good luck
2007-01-17 12:50:40 · answer #6 · answered by wheeldave2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you answered your own question. If you are unhappy and believe that counciling isn't going to help save your marriage then move on. But before you do move on have a serious talk with her maybe she might have reasons to be the way she is or believes nothing is wrong with the marriage. good luck
2007-01-17 12:41:59 · answer #7 · answered by Baby 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
slow down. You are not being wise. End one chapter of your life before you start a new one or shw will make your divorce hell!!!! have you all tried seing a marriage counselor. talk to your minister.
2007-01-17 12:37:06 · answer #8 · answered by beautyzhername 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've already built up a pretty good argument to leave your wife and move on to a newer model.....so go for it.
You're a grown-up and you don't need permission.
Your current wife will probably be thrilled.
2007-01-17 12:38:32 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Have you ever considered that maybe she is not the best wife to you because you are no longer the best husband to her. It takes two to tango.
2007-01-17 12:35:52 · answer #10 · answered by schoolot 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋