Ok, so I was talking to my friend about, what else, boys!
Specifically, the fact that I've never had a guy ask me out, never had a guy my age be interested in me. I'm not hideous... I don't think I'm at all attractive, though...
5'5, Brown Hair, 115 lbs...
& more importantly, I'm actually a nice person. I'm caring, treat people with respect...
Older people know that I'm a sweet person, & can't figure out why I can't get a b/f...
Anyway, she said that the reason might be because I don't play hard to get. If I wanna talk to a guy, I try to. I'm shy sometimes, but I try to break out of that, & I'm not gonna go around ignoring people and playing headgames.
She said that that is all guys my age respond to, though. She claims that if I start ignoring a guy I like, and act all "mysterious," it'll make him come chasing after me.
Is that true? If so, why?
Why can't anyone appreciate a girl that is straighforward about the way she feels, and doesn't wanna mess with anyone's emotions?
2007-01-17 12:30:29 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
That is not the case with all guys. Don't worry so much about getting a boyfriend, worry about getting out there and having a good time. A nice man will come a long when you are not looking and when you least expect it and where you would least expect it. It may just be someone that you least expect as well.
Don't be something you aren't to try to attract someone, that's no good and you don't have to play hard to get. As hard as it is, let it come naturally and stop looking so hard.
People gave me the same advice, and I did not believe it until I actually gave up looking for someone. I met my husband and we were married in September of last year and he was the last person I ever expected to marry. :) I met him online too. :) That's the last place I ever wanted or expected to meet anyone
2007-01-17 12:37:10 · answer #1 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys who see a girl act the way you acted interpret it as being mean, or just clearly letting the guy know you are NOT interested...of course he is going to move on. Playing hard to get is not the same thing as playing games. Playing hard to get means not being easy, or making a guy work to get you: showing how valuable you are but at the same time still showing interest without making a commitment just yet; but when you over do it (like you did) or give mixed messages (messing with a guy's head): that's NOT playing hard to get.
2016-03-29 02:21:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG...where where you when I was in the dating scene! HA!
I've complained to my wife about just this about my teenage years.
When I was 16, I was in college (YES, I DID graduate EARLY), had a full time job, and a car. I didn't/don't smoke, do drugs, or other stupid stuff. I was/am clean cut, straight forward, down to earth...an all around "nice guy." NOT ONE girl showed ANY interest. Also, as you mentioned, I am not a model, but nor am I ugly, really. I met my wife to be at 24.
I was (and still am) of the impression that girls want a rebel, jerk, guy that needs "fixing," etc. If he's a liar and doesn't respect them, that's just a bonus. If he needs you to fix his problems, and lend him money, then he's got the making for a long term relationship. Why have a guy who WANTS to be with you, treats you right, and respects you, when you can be a doormat?
Anyway, my advice, find a guy you's into you. Don't become a game playing disco biscuit. In the long run, you, and the right guy you meet, will be better off.
Good luck.
Voice of Reason
2007-01-17 12:46:12 · answer #3 · answered by Voice_Of_Reason 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is true, though it may be so less now than it used to be. It is an age old saying, along with "He chased me til I caught him." I don't know why. I think it's just a trait; from the dawn of time, men are the protectors, etc. They like to be in control. And it's just traditionally what happens (or used to). It's okay to be straightforward, but you don't want to seem clingy, or desperate. And if you are asking guys out, they may think that you are easy. (probably not so much anymore, but they still could). Don't come off as b****y though. You can be friendly, even a little flirty, just not overwhelming or suffocating.
You haven't specified how old you are, but I assume you're young, like early to mid teens. Don't be in a rush to find a boyfriend. It'll happen when the time is right. And yes, if you seem aloof and indifferent to guys, they might start coming after you. If not, don't sweat it. When it's ready to happen, it will happen.
2007-01-17 12:44:19 · answer #4 · answered by Pooky 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound nice. I'd most likely date you if you didn't smoke or do drugs.
If I were you I'd target a guy. I wouldn't go for the hottest guy but the one you have the most in common with. Just try and start to talk to him. Start it up slow and just say hi and then ask "What have you been up too?" or "How was your weekend?"
You need to be more observant of what is going on around you. If you see a guy looking your way don't be afraid to go up and talk to him. But don't get mad if the guy turns really shy and doesn't say much. You could always touch him on the shoulder before you leave and give a smile.
Some guys like curtain things about woman. Some like really nice butts, some like large boobs, really pretty long hair. Something that makes you stick out from the crowd.
Personally I like woman with really nice long hair. Why because if they're hair looks nice then they are most likely to take care of themselves a lot better then most people. Then I really like nice eyes also. Cause you can just get lost in them.
So maybe ask your friends what is your best feature and have it stand out just alittle more the normal. You could use a different eye makeup to so in contrasts with your eyes. Blue and yellow are contrasting colors. Not that you should use yellow eye shadow.
Don't be afraid to go up to a guy. We really like that alot.
If your 18 or older you could always go on Yahoo! personals and give that a try. Or you could post an ad on craig's list. Which is free. Just say what you like to do for fun and what your looking for.
2007-01-17 12:45:15 · answer #5 · answered by Frak 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definatly not true, some guys might like that, but some guys actually find it annoying when they know a girl is interested but they play hard to get. Or if you're just the type to..you know..let loose, do that and guys will be all over you trying to get into your pants(just dont tease by not letting them, that's another pet peeve for many guys). But yea..just depends on the guys, I myself personally don't care for looks(well, I do, I personally dont like girls to...be bigger than me, and having a good body is a plus, but I don't require it for my interests), and then there are some guys who need a perfect looking girl, no matter how dumb, mean, or shallow she is. It just all depends on the guy and you. Like rolling dice really.
2007-01-17 12:37:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you on everything you said about yourself except the unattractive part. Be more positive about your self image.
I don't believe in playing head games either. You're what I call marriage material. Guys will be throwing themselves at your feet as soon as they get to that age. You will be fighting them off as soon as they mature. Enjoy being single and the less you stress about it the sooner you'll meet a nice guy who isn't impressed by girls who play head games. Maybe you'll notice somebody who is too shy to approach you and you'll have to give the first hello. You know, the meek and mild type.
2007-01-17 12:48:08 · answer #7 · answered by Tasha 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'd like to know the answer to this question too. I've never even had a viable rumor about someone liking me, let along a guy seriously asking me out.
A couple of years ago, some guys in my class pretended to be interested in me (they would go on their knees sometimes and ask me to marry them, or say they loved me and stuff), and I said no everytime to all of them, just in case they were serious. It was strange, but they kept coming back with new, and sometime funny ways to ask me out or to marry them.
Maybe guys like the challenge of getting the girl who says she doesn't like him, to go out with him?
2007-01-17 12:37:56 · answer #8 · answered by the_blue_violinist 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because guys like a chase they don't want a girl whose str8 forward because that means anybody can have her, and guys want a girl that is special that any guy cant have because it makes them feel special and like they're "the man", if they finally get her. but dont worry about getting a boyfriend it will come to you when its time, just remember to be yourself so will attract the right guy dont try to act innocent if you dont want too, just be who you are and the right guy will find you.
2007-01-17 12:57:08 · answer #9 · answered by Cherry 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-14 21:55:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋