I broke up with my x husband(he was violent)over two years ago,my best friend who was also a friend of his,keeps stirring it and loves to tell me wat he is doing now..ive asked her on numerous occasions not to mention him, she says i should be over him by now...well im not!!. Last month she announced that she likes winding me up because its fun!!....i was very hurt by her coldness and we stopped speaking...although she has never apologised,we have started to resume the frienship(i missed her we do a lot of good things together).
One of my other friends said this woman is a looser!!-and i should get her out of my life very fast!...i do dread the day when she brings something up again about my x.
what do you lot think?????
2007-01-17 12:21:14 · 16 answers · asked by mollie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
thanks for your advice guys/girls.
Mike c...this so called looser friend of mine actually does say that i Couldnt go back!-cos nothing has changed.
And to all of you god bless xx,thankyou for your help in making my descion,she has to go!!!
2007-01-18 06:29:10 · update #1
You need to find new friends and start spending time with the other friends you do have.
If I put it this way you will understand: If she is telling you everything about your ex - it is highly likely that she is telling him everything about you. Can you trust her? I don't think so! - better to have people around you who support you when you are feeling down, not make fun of you and those you can trust.
Get rid of her quickly and finally - she is no friend of yours!
2007-01-17 22:07:57 · answer #1 · answered by Just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh we are all 'losers,' and simply 'calling someone a name' might make her feel better, but it doesn't actually help anyone understand things.
It used to be (for me) that I'd only 'take the Micky out of or loosely insult those people I was Friends with' (it's a safe way of being - as they are 'Friends' - and nothing was said to do any "damage" ). But there are only so many levels you can go to in that behaviour.
Your 'Friend' might be of the same type of thinking in her enjoyment of 'winding you up.' However, you are perfectly entitled to tell her to 'Knock it off' as you neither appreciate it nor having her upsetting yourself by hurting your feelings. And, if she doesn't care about Your feelings, then she is not a Friend.
As to whether 'you ought to be over' anything by now!
Where is it written? What makes her an Authority on the matter? And, the fact that you're not over a residue of hurt is neither here nor there. They are your personal feelings that she is being so 'casual with' and indifferent to.
Try telling this (in your own words), and then deal with what emerges accordingly ~ in what is 'Best' for you.
With 'friends' like her, who needs enemies!
Best of luck.
2007-01-17 21:27:41 · answer #2 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend like this too. There not really a good friend. I'd probably break up the friend ship personally. But if that's not what you want to do then you should just not trust her as much. People can be hurtful...and your "friend" seems like the type that is hurtful. True friends don't stab you in the back for fun.
2007-01-17 20:42:09 · answer #3 · answered by miss_lazze08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't sound like a friend to me! If she was she wouldn't be so cold, I no some people can be tactless however to say something to the effect that she likes winding you up is just evil. Are you sure she isn't sleeping with him, it seems to me that she has an ulterior motive! Be wary of her, still have your days out, but don't tell her too much, she could be telling your husband everything you don't want him to know!
2007-01-17 20:30:15 · answer #4 · answered by AlleJo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that this woman is bringing him up so you will get back with him. i think he wants you back as a wife beater thinks that he can control the wife for the rest of his life and knowing you still have feelings for him, she thinks that if hes a part of a conversation you might love him again and go back to him.
get rid of her as she is defenately stirring things up and you have done the right thing and moved away from him, you dont need her making you feel this way as you might go back to him- and a man like him doesnt change.
honestly get rid of her and just tell her you're moving on without her too.
2007-01-18 06:11:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's not your friend, a friend will respect your wishes and you asked her not to mention him again. She sounds like a very sick, cruel person who seems to think it is fun to hurt you. I would dump her like a hot potato, you do not need her. Why would you want to spend time with someone that treats you this way??
Screw your head back on straight and get rid of this SO CALLED
FRIEND!!!!
2007-01-17 20:34:10 · answer #6 · answered by Faith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she hurts you all the time she is not worth having as a friend.She is obviously thick skinned. If you are feeling lonely keep her as a friend until you find someone nicer to go with and then shed her as fast as you can as she is not worth having as a friend. A friend is to comfort you and make you feel nice not to hurt you!!!
2007-01-17 20:28:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be frank with her. Grow a backbone and say I would rather not talk about him. I am trying to get over him. will you help me do that? You don't have to be rude. Just straight forward. I am sure she will never mention him again and the good thing is........you will still maintain your friendship.
2007-01-17 20:30:43 · answer #8 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is not your friend.
Find other friends & get on with your life.
It normally takes about 18 months to get over a split up.
You dom't meed to hear about your Ex meet someone else & have fun.
2007-01-17 20:45:05 · answer #9 · answered by ANDREW H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't sound like a friend to me, friends don't "want to wind you up " Surely she must realise that when she is telling you things about your ex, it still hurts, & if she enjoys watching your reaction..... she's NOT a friend.
Be careful
2007-01-17 20:30:44 · answer #10 · answered by talula 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋