My sis got pregnant and the man left , I moved in with her(I had no other choice) to help with the baby but now I feel like I just wanna leave and sort my own life out because I cut down on my social life and work hours to help .To make things worse everything I do for the baby is never good enough according to her.I love my little nephew dearly and he is the only thing that keeps me from walking out the door.I just want my old life back but at the same time I feel like leaving them would be the most selfish thing ever .There isnt any other family to help her and she is working part time too.What should I do ?
2007-01-17 12:19:47 · 21 answers · asked by kitty 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know exactly how you're feeling... well, not really, I know exactly how your sister feels. I was in your sisters spot (except my husband just worked a lot), with my sister moving in to help out. From your sisters point of view, she appreciates you.
If your nephew if her first child, then nothing anyone does is good enough. I'm not sure why, but that's just a new mom thing. I know it's hard, but try to imagine the stress your sister has in her mind. Perhaps she just doesn't know how to deal with that stress. You could suggest a class or something for the two of you to go to. In my case, I didn't handle myself well either in dealing with my sister. She left, on bad terms, and we didn't talk for a long time. But then i pulled my head out... so to speak, and realized what a jerk i had been to her. just be patient with your sister, i guarantee she appreciates what you're doing for her, even if she doesn't always show it in the right way. good luck.
2007-01-17 12:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by Christina 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are being selfish. You have to talk to your sister and let her know how you feel. I understand that what's bothering you the most is that you don't get any appreciation for all the things that you do. Maybe she feels bad about the situation too, knowing what you have to give up on in order to help her and the baby... People react in strange ways. Talk to her about it. On the other hand, if you are all the family she's got, leaving is out of the question in my oppinion. You should be there for her as she has no one else. I know it's hard, and you have your own life to think about too. So good luck!
2007-01-17 19:17:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look after yourself first. That way you'll be more help to your sister as you will be less run down and also she will appreciate you more.
This is not your fault. and you are not running out on them you are rightfully having your own life but you will still always be there for both of them. This is NOT an EITHER OR situation. you can help your sister and nephew and still have a life!
You both need to just find the happy medium before you both snap!
Sort yourself out otherwise you'll get burnout and be no good to anyone. your going to help her a lot more that way then by getting run down. It's not selfish! It is the what is best , long and short term!
2007-01-17 12:31:56 · answer #3 · answered by Little miss naughty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot throw away your life and sit facing her for the rest of your life. This was her choice and it is not fair that it you but your whole life on hold until when ever she gives you the OK to go back to your own life. Having a baby is a huge responsibility, and right now it's her job to take care for herself and her child, but you must also take care of yourself first and your own life! If you were my sister I would be so thankful for even staying with me and taking care of me during pregnancy when I had no one is so wonderful and I could never repay you, but I would want you to also build your own life and go find your own happiness! You are not selfish at all!
2007-01-17 12:27:41 · answer #4 · answered by Mommy♥of2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe that leaving her would be selfish. You have a life too, you can't be with her for the rest of your life, sometimes you need to think about yourself and your needs, your priorities,there are times where we have to stop and take time for ourselves. It sounds to me like she does not appreciate what it is that you are doing for her. I think that if you just go about your own way, she will realize what you have done for her. Some people do not understand the value of something until it's gone.
Get your life back. You did your best, it's time that your sister learns to take care of herself and her child. It's not easy, but whether you believe it or not, maybe if you leave her, it will be doing her a favor, she will learn more responsibility.
She just may be taking unfair advantage of you, be careful.
2007-01-17 12:27:19 · answer #5 · answered by HappyCat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well pick one day a week and let the sis know ur going out. remember u still have a life. long as someone is there w/ the child u can go out. its not ur child not really ur worries. and when she says ur not doin anything right w/ the child. talk to her and let her know she hurts ur feelings and that ur there to help. being a single parent is hard work i have a 5 yr old and i've done it all by myself for 5 yrs. shes lucky to have u there to help her. and she needs to understand that. just let her know u'd like to go out some and find out when would be a good time to make ur plans.. best of luck!
2007-01-17 13:18:37 · answer #6 · answered by kelly p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That would not be selfish at all. You can still help out sometimes, but you don't have to dedicate your whole life to her and her child. Your sis has to learn to make good choices in life, and she will never learn if you are there to bail her out every time. Was it you that chose to get pregnant? No, therefore it is not your responsibility. I would definitely still help her out and be a great auntie, but you have to live your life.
If you don't you will resent her later, and you don't want that.
2007-01-17 12:32:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you feel selfish just because you love your little nephew.
You really need to think about what you feel towards your sis workin in her house. Why don't you try saying that you're tired
and you want to try going on with your own life and that you would visit her a lot and try to help her.
Hope what I said helps you.*
2007-01-17 12:31:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No youre not selfish--ur just the opposite--u seem to be a very self sacrificing caring person----nothing wrong with wanting ur life back---after all it is YOUR life. If you leave what will happen to her//? at some point you are going to have to move on with your life---so let her know that u are planning to leave on such and such a date---but also let her know that you still want to help when u can and that u are not abadoning her or her child. blessings!
2007-01-17 12:30:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dang.
she is the one being selfish if she doesnt appreciate what you do for the baby.
try talking to her about it. and tell her to give you some slack. honestly its great to help out and stay there with her, but if she is stuck up ur butt all the time, tell her how you feel. dont let it wonder around your head. i dont know how old you are, and social life is great.
2007-01-17 12:26:21 · answer #10 · answered by i love addasyn smith 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋