Me and my girlfriend have been together for a long time, we love each other very much, our sex life has been fantastic, she tells me how much she enjoys it and wants to do it again but she is scared of getting pregnant, even though I always use protection and I use it well. This has bought our sex life to a screeching stop, she tells me how she wants to do it but she is scared of getting pregnant even though we use protection. She has told me now she is too scared to have sex, I understand, but for some reason I feel hurt, I love her with all my heart yet I can't help but feel hurt, We agreed on not doing it a couple of times before but she gives in sometimes and just ends up getting me into bed, but I have told her how it's either we do it or we don't, no messing around, but now i just feel hurt for some reason, I feel like something is missing, I love her so much. What should I do?
2007-01-17 12:17:42 · 14 answers · asked by some guy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have not rushed or pressured her to have sex (she is actually the aggressive one in this). we have already had sex, we had a great sex life until she recently feels really scared of pregnancy for no reason at all.She doesn't want any kids and neither do I. I just don't understand why she is scared when I am using protection.
the worst part is, she will again change her mind, get me in to bed, then again be scared. I don't want her to be scared, I want her to have good memories of our love, not pregnancy scares.
2007-01-17 12:33:14 · update #1
She has told me how a few of her friends and a cousin have ended up pregnant. That might also explain her fear.
2007-01-17 12:36:37 · update #2
Your girlfriend is a very smart young lady. Don't be in a rush to "have sex" with her before she is ready. Do not feel hurt. There are many ways to show each other affections without actually 'doing it" - If u truly love her....give her time and if it is meant to be it will happen. Pressure can push her further away
2007-01-17 12:24:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a question that has plagued modern man for eons. However has she considered going on the pill? Even if you are young most states will allow a girl to receive the pill once she has turned 15 or 16 without parental consent. Even if she goes on the pill you might still want to use protection because no form of birth control exdcept abstinence is 100% another option which is 99.89% is norplant a form of birth control which is injected once every 3 months into the inside of her upper arm.
2007-01-17 12:26:31 · answer #2 · answered by John N 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should feel hurt and being a woman, I really think that her excuse for not having sex with you is more than a fear of her getting pregnant. You need to communicate with her a little more and find out what else is going on. There are many methods of birth control out there that are very effective. I believe that she may be using this excuse in order to get out of having sex with you. Good luck
2007-01-17 13:14:17 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Double up on protection (don't use two condoms at once). Use condoms in addition to hormonal birth control or something else. Hormonal birth control is over 99% effective and condoms are about 97% effective if used properly. A combination of them both drastically reduces her chances of pregnancy. If you're older, get a vesectomy. That's what my husband to be is doing! I'll be staying on 'the pill' because it has so many benefits beyond pregnancy protection. :)
2007-01-17 12:40:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you use protection. Maybe be doubly safe and she should use protection as well with what your using. We know the facts though it only takes one time. And nothing is fool proof every woman worries about those fears of could I get pregnant. But to have it really both you that much isn't healthy. I'm sure that stress you out and makes you want to forget it. Keep talking to your girl and be sympathetic.
2007-01-17 12:34:45 · answer #5 · answered by GoldenGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's important to lay ground rules down if you both decide to abstain. Don't give in to her if she demands sex.
Suggest she go on the pill.
Perhaps her period was late recently which caused a scare in her.
Ultimately perhaps she needs to do her own form of protection for intercourse if she insists on having sex but then acts childish afterwards.
It's really good to see you are understanding and trying to be attentive to her needs.
2007-01-17 13:10:59 · answer #6 · answered by littlyau 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her to go on some protection herself....also you need to really sit down and talk to her about how you feel seriously I believe sex is a great part of a relationship. Also if she does not want to go on some birth control herself then you should really think about how will this relationship work out and possibly move on. You have to think of yourself and your emotions thats not healthy. Hopefully she understands. Good Luck
2007-01-17 12:29:11 · answer #7 · answered by Baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to either get on the pills or get her tubes tied. If she has a pathological fear of getting pregnant now or forever? Get to the root of the problem as soon as you can, because if you want to marry this woman, having children or not having them is a big issue.
2007-01-17 12:22:45 · answer #8 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to assume that she's scared because she's not married yet? Tell her to try birth control and if you really love her that much assure her that you want to marry her down the road or would marry her sooner if she became pregnant.
2007-01-17 12:27:36 · answer #9 · answered by Lil Gal 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you dont say how old you 2 are, but she should def. be on the pill if she is that scared! it seems something has spooked her? did 1 of her friends end up prego? ask her why she changed? be honest and ask her to do the same with you....there seems to be a deep hidden reason she is acting this way all of a sudden! good luck!
2007-01-17 12:31:03 · answer #10 · answered by STARZ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋