Why is he addicted to his PC?

Question

All my other half does is come home from work, open his laptop, and connect to his on-line gaming until the early hours.
He forgets chores, unless I remind him, and rarely takes the initiative... he doesn't go out with me anymore, drinks his beers (doesn't get drunk) and prefers to stay home.
to some degree I should be grateful, but have I lost him... ?

Answer 1

what you doin on here aswell then eh both as bad as one another i say

Answer 2

The only reason you could be grateful is if you want peace and quiet which is all you are getting. A partnership isn't all about him, he needs to make an effort and spend time with you. Sounds as if he is addicted but it seems quite easy to get addicted to comupter games (including Yahoo answers). Maybe you should leave the house and have yourself a mini holiday or stay with friends and relatives and see if he misses you. When he calls to ask you to come home then make an ultimatum. You could lock away his computer and allow him an hour a day but that would be treating him like a child.

Answer 3

Well, what kind of game does he play on line that takes most of his time away from you and doing chores? It could be that he is addicted to this game that he plays.

What I would do, is go see what kind of game he is playing, find out who he's been playing with too. If you notice that he is playing with a woman on the game and it is the same woman he has been playing with, then you should inform him that he is taking too much of his time playing with someone else rather than spending the time with you. Do be polite and nice about it when you approach him. Let him know how you are feeling about not having his company.

Also, maybe you might want to play an on line game with him too!

Answer 4

If he has lost interest in the things he always used to enjoy, could he be depressed?

If so try to coax him away from his laptop and see if you can get him to enjoy other activities, variety is the spice of life and all that. This could be a huge struggle though. Ask him what he enjoys doing, if he has no answer it sounds a lot like depression, it can just sneak up on people, it doesn't have to be caused by external factors. Could be a hormonal imbalance or poor nutrition or lack of exercise.

Just a thought :)

Answer 5

Sorry to say but, yes u have lost him, or you do not interest him anymore. He needs to grow up and get off of those games. I dont know how old he is but I had the same problem. My BF always was on the internet, either with gameplaying or XXX, we broke up because he loved the computer more than me. But, u can look at it this ways, "AS LONG AS HE IS AT HOME AND NOT RUNNING OUT WITH FRIENDS OR TO THE BARS RIGHT? Good luck, but he will never grow out of being addicted to the computer. Good Luck!!!

Answer 6

Your husband sounds very much like me. To be honest, I think he hates u, and he hates his life and he hates everything.
Yet again, I think u can do what it takes to save him from this. U can be extra sweet and understanding. If you really like him, sit back a little, study his life and his ambitions from a non-biased point of view. Try to draw a plan and general outlines for his life, treat him as ur son and ur life time project.
Once u have done that, start acting like his mentor but without preaching. Gradually make him feel better and take his hand step by step.

Answer 7

It is probably his way of destressing. He uses the PC to decompress after a hard day at work. My husband does the exact same thing. I look at it this way - at least he isn't drinking at a bar somewhere or doing God knows what behind my back...he's home and I know what he's doing...

Answer 8

my sister had this exact same problem, and i'll give you the same advice i gave her. hopefully, you too will meet with success.

it sounds as though you need to have a chat with your husband. lest he get defensive, make sure that you approach the situation in a "this is how i perceive the situation, and this it how it makes me feel." this will probably be better received than a type of "you spend too much time on your stupid laptop and it's making me crazy" approach. besides, if you haven't told him, he might not even know how much his online gaming bothers you, if he knows it at all.

also, it would be best to have this conversation in a neutral location, away from home, since that is where the source of the problem exists, in your house. this outing will accomplish the duel goals of spending time outside of the house together, as well as giving you an opportunity to talk with him.

just be honest. tell him that you feel like you're losing him, that you miss him, and that you want to spend time with him. and definitely be willing to compromise. try to set-up days and times when he gets to play his online games, and times the two of you spend together. and ensure that while he has his game time, you're doing something that interests you, so you'll be less focused on what he's doing during those times. you want to make sure that both of your needs are being met, and as long as you yourself are being reasonable, then he is much more likely to do so as well. if he loves you, then he'll respect your feelings and want to resolve the situation in a way that's best for both of you and your relationship.

if he refuses to compromise, then you might have a larger problem at hand than his pc addiction. for example, when my sister had this conversation with your husband, he told her that the reason he came home and lost himself in his gaming was because he was so stressed out from work and depressed about the many problems at the office, things he'd never told her about. but one of the reasons she never knew was because she never asked, just like she never asked him why he spent so much time on his computer. communication is key for any good relationship, and once they both got their feelings out in the open, they were on their way to being a more contented, loving couple, something they hadn't been in awhile.

best of luck to you, and i hope this situation works out for the betterment of your marriage. :)

Answer 9

Just like I tell everyone else...why are you waiting around for him? What about you? Hang out with your friends. Get some hobbies. If you don't have any hobbies, then go out and get some. why are you sitting around, moping, and waiting for your husband? get a life of your own girl. he has made his choice. now you need to make yours. you can stay there and be miserable or you can go out and do something for yourself.

Answer 10

Sledge Hammer + laptop = fixed marriage

No seriously this is an issue you need to sort out by talking to him. Explain your views and tell him that he can have the laptop but you need him as well.
If he is mature and caring he will understand.

Answer 11

he is not only addicted, he is ignoring YOU...a live in the flesh loving wife! sit his *** down and have a long talk with the idiot before it is too late! he def. has a major problem! are you sure he is into gaming and not onlive sex chats or dating sites? my friend just found out thats what her man was up to!! do what the other person wrote......smash his laptop.....quick!