Him and I have been dating since October of 2006. We have had such a wonderful relationship, and when I found this out I was angry, upset, hurt and concerned. Mainly because he lied to me about the whole situation. I had asked him when we first met whether or not he was married. He told me that he was divorced. I am not sure what to do...I have strong feelings for him and we enjoy each others company. Please help me with how I should go about the "issue."
2007-01-17 11:55:36 · 19 answers · asked by Confused Chick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have some bad news for you: if he's so wonderful, he wouldn't lie to you. Marriage is a very sacred promise that two people make. If he is lying about his marriage, he has the ability to lie about other things, too. Is this what you want for a relationship? Sadly, in the real world, most men don't leave their wives for the other woman, and that is what you have become. If you choose to stay with him, you are simply a convenience for him. You are worth more than that. If you stay, ask yourself this question: am I worth so little that I deserve another woman's leftovers? Have I gotten so desperate that I would destroy another's marriage for a futile attempt to "have someone" in my life? If I have a child, would I want this situation for him/her? You need to sit him down, and say it's over. Then, ask yourself what you can do to make yourself a better person, who deserves an honest, healthy relationship. If necessary, get some counseling for yourself; you have taken a nasty emotional hit. Good luck and God bless.
2007-01-17 12:34:20 · answer #1 · answered by Judy W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave the relationship before you become the wife and the one not only lied to but cheated on as well. When you examine this wonderful relationship it is not so wonderful when you consider he has already deceived you. By saying married I assume he is still with his wife so that is another person he is deceiving not to mention kids and other family etc. Such dishonesty in a relationship so soon will only lead to heartache. Lets face it the guy you crave is not really the guy you are with he is an image that you would like but dont have. Sure you have been caught up with the immeditate romance of a new relationship. Nothing wrong there but it will be wrong to continue this false relationship. you too be come a part of this web of deciet if you stay with him. Let him go and tell him to sort his baggage out and then and only when all resolved make contact. That does not mean you sit and wait for him because in reality most married men do not leave their wives. It is also no fun starting a relationship with the tag of the other woman. Have higher regard for yourself and end the relationship now
2007-01-17 20:17:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
And you should be angry, upset, and concerned, hon, you got used!!!!!!!! Of course you have strong feelings for him, but he is not who you thought he was --- again, you got made the fool. He lied to you, not a little, but big time, and that, sweetie is a deal-buster. And if he did this to his wife with you, if you stay with him, he'll do this to you with some other lady down the road. Every spouse deserves a faithful partner, she does, and she doesn't have it, and if you take him on, you won't have it either. He isn't what or who you thought he was, and he fooled you, and played you for a chump. You should really be totally smoked.
Dump the guy, tell him to leave you alone, and get on with your life. Find someone worthy of you. I don't know where you met him but the internet is full of really great guy, wishing a solid relationship with a great lady.. Try Match.com, Yahoo Personals, itsjustlunch.com, e-harmony. I found a great husband using personal ads when it wasn't even popular!!!! And after it was over, and he was killed, I found the guy I am with now with Yahoo. This is not to say that there aren't some rats out there --- there sure are, and I met one once, but you'll find a rat next to you in church, too. Use good judgment, meet in public places. If you need to know more, write.
2007-01-17 21:42:28 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, girl--been there, done that, and I feel for you. What a crappy spot to find your self in. I was with this guy for a year, then found out that he was married. It was easy for him to hide, because she was in the Philippines. Anyway, I ended up pregnant, and now have a 10 year old child from the relationship, but I had to raise her alone (until I married someone else years later). As much as it hurts, you really need to end it. If he cheated on her and lied to both of you, it is obvious that he cannot be trusted. You really owe it to yourself to get rid of him NOW! As much as it hurts, you have got to cut him loose. I know (from experience) how hard headed a woman in love can be and how easy it is to try to make excuses for him, but there IS NO excuse for his behavior. I am not trying to be a smart a**, I am just being honest. If you stay with him, I can almost guarantee that you will hurt more later than you do now, and the sad part is, you will deserve it. Right now, the pain you are in is HIS fault. If you stay with him, the pain you feel will be YOUR fault. Good luck.
2007-01-17 20:20:22 · answer #4 · answered by Sabrina 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely end it!!!!!!!!!!!! Run like the wind. Don't think that you are anybody special, he is just looking for somebody to put up with the **** that his wife won't put up with. If you two ever get serious he is going to do the same thing to you.
This is a great example of how he solves problems. You don't want a coward do you. Always remember that for every untruth, there are probably thousands of things that he hasn't told you.
It might seem nice now because the relationship is new, but what about when the newness wares off. Get out before it is too late.
2007-01-17 20:12:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to stop seeing him right away, show him that u have more respect for yourself than that. he is not only a cheater but also a liar. if u continue in this, and if u make any demands or give any ultimatums, he may end the relationship, so why take the crumbs he throws, he is taken and belongs to someone else, just playing u really. plus ever consider the law of karma when u hurt someone it comes back to u. just get rid of him, hes just a liar, he lied to u to get what he wanted, had u known u would not have begun a relationship with him, and shouldn't carry one on now.
2007-01-17 20:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes!!!!! because it is committing adultery, and you are interfering with someone elses relationship. If he lied and said that he was divorced when really he's not, then he is not a good and faithful man to his wife at all, nor will he be faithful to you. You should LET HIM GO AND MOVE ON. There is someone better in this world for you.
2007-01-17 21:19:00 · answer #7 · answered by brian r 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you cheapen yourself for a lying punk? If you feel that strongly, go ahead let him lay up with you and continue to go home to his wife. If you wnat to handle it like a woman, kick his *** to the curb. But don't forget to call his wife and tell her what an as shole he is. If you are doing it to better your position with him skip this step.
2007-01-17 20:04:38 · answer #8 · answered by act as if 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not an "issue". It's a lawfully wedded wife you are referring to, and if I were you I would get out of this now. He is obviously not going to leave her, otherwise he would have already, and if it's so easy for him to lie like this, God only knows what else he has lied about. Get him out of your life now and move on. Plenty of single men are out there for you.
2007-01-17 20:00:52 · answer #9 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do not continue with this. I have on the other side and got a divorce from my ex because of it. You should have more respect for yourself. He lied about it, so else does he lie about and will he lie about. He is a scum bag.
2007-01-17 20:01:06 · answer #10 · answered by Loves Ladybugs 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋