I am 22 and i have 2 children with this guy that my family hates. he broke up with me when i was 4 months pregnant with our 2nd baby. my family was thrilled that he was gone. recently
i agreed to take him back and give him a 2nd chance. i haven't told anyone at all yet, because i know they'll all be upset. i don't know how i should break it to them. also, i'm not entirely sure that everything is going to work out with him and me. i want to be sure that he really has changed.
so i don't know if i should tell them now, or wait a bit.
2007-01-17 11:53:22 · 10 answers · asked by The Spazz 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's your life. It's your family. It's your children. You need to do what you know in your heart is best for your family. If you're so nervous about telling your family it makes me wonder if deep down you really believe yourself that he's changed. If you're really giving him another chance then you need to believe it wholly and tell your family with confidence that you're doing what's right. If you can't do that, maybe it isn't right.
2007-01-17 11:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by Jilli Bean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two kids? Does he have a commitment problem? I think there is a big problem with him if he left you while you were pregnant. If a guy can't be there for you when you need him the most then really... can you rely on him? I've been in relationships where people told me how bad he was... and I've seen really bad relationships that my best friends had which they didn't notice the problems till it was completely over.
I think you need to sit down and write a list about the good qualities and bad that he has. It might sound lame but when you see a full list of the bad vs. 2 or 3 good things... it might hit you faster... Good things as in handsome, rich... material things shouldnt really be there btw. haha. Another thing, your friends and family love you and you should really listen and consider what they are saying to you. If its 50/50 then it would be harder but if all the people who love you and care for you are leaning towards the "he is not good for you" side... then you should listen to them before your heart gets broken again. Sometimes we only see the good things so look back and remember the worst times with your guy, maybe that will help.
2007-01-17 20:02:16 · answer #2 · answered by japzkyootipie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're walking on a slippery slope, girl.
You're emotionally still attached to this guy and if past performance is any indicator of future behavior, what makes you think that he won't walk away again? Naturally your parents have only your well-being in mind and understandably will be hurt if you tell them, but they're also supposedly more mature thinking adults and as such ought to have considered that under this situation, you might just give in and take him back.
You're only prolonging a bad situation, girl. Tell him you've had a change of heart and stick with it. It takes courage to do the right thing for your kids. Give him parental visitation with your children, but make sure you get child support for them; it's his obligation and the kids' right. Your family will be more than supportive once you told them what they've been watching unfold and worried about.
I'm watching this very same thing unfold in my own family and we can only hope your girls grab hold of your own backbone.
2007-01-17 20:20:53 · answer #3 · answered by Moe J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I know is that, need to think about whats right for ur children, if u feel that he is not a good father to them, and he doesn;t not treat u right, u need to consider that. if can fix himself, and prove you are worth the change, then take him back. but if ur afraid to be alone, then that is not a good decsion. sometimes we are blinded by lonelyness. Be careful, there are crazy people out there, u need to make sure ur safe with him. U will not see his change until a few a years.
2007-01-17 19:59:59 · answer #4 · answered by girly girl just wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm first off there are reasons which u may not know that are causing ur family to not like this guy---u have ur own doubts about him and with good reason--he bailed on you once already----before I let him come back--I would go for counseling with him-----find out if he has really changed----ur an adult and need to make ur own decisions and be ok with them---no matter how they make others feel---blessings!
2007-01-17 20:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
22, with 2 kids.
Your family hates this guy?
No wonder!
Your family is how you should go for the time being.
Make him prove himself. Make him prove that your family is wrong.
He should be proving, that he can take of the kids he has helped to bring about.
Sounds like sweet talkin to me.
2007-01-17 20:07:04 · answer #6 · answered by luckychicken 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait to tell anyone.
Good for you for trying, at least you can tell your kids taht ou made an effort and their dad is a true A hole. Don't keep him around just for the kids. Why torture yourself for the rest of your life.
Good luck.
2007-01-17 19:58:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever you do you must think of the welfare of the children first and foremost. Then yours, then your family, then his. He should understand that and if he doesn't, you need to make a decision if it will be him first or or your children. Remember they look to you to protect them from harm and if you allow harm to your self, how can they expect you to protect them.
2007-01-17 20:07:20 · answer #8 · answered by Connie B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt matter what your family sais because if you really love him,then you should just live your life.they will probably understand if u told them that you want your children to have thier father
2007-01-17 20:01:06 · answer #9 · answered by gary c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should wait to see if he has changed to tell ur family
2007-01-17 20:18:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋