I don't want to change my last name because it's me, my identity, it's MY name, but he has a problem with that because he's more traditionalist. Is there a good compromise, or how can I get him to understand how important this is to me?
2007-01-17 11:45:24 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you should find someone who has no backbone, you are too selfish for marriage. When you are married, your identity along with his are intertwined with each other, it is no longer me and you it is us. So why not stop this relationship, before it goes on to marriage and divorce...
2007-01-17 11:57:05 · answer #1 · answered by Thomas 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I completely disagree with those who have said things along the lines of ‘take his name, because that’s what you’re suppose to do”. This is not 1800. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t take his last name, but you have a valid right to feel as you do, and he should respect that.
As others have stated, compromise by hyphenating the last name. Maybe he’s worried about whose last name the kids will carry, so talk to him about that.
But I do want to add that if he’s that traditional and you’re modern, this may be the first of many disagreements about the ‘roles’ in the marriage, so get it all ironed out NOW.
2007-01-17 23:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by kp 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i kept my name until we had kids, then I changed it. I still use my maiden name for work as I've been there for a long time it would have been to much of a pain to change. If your names aren't too long and don't sounds weird together you can always hyphenate. just my own experience.
2007-01-17 20:46:32 · answer #3 · answered by Ella727 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are married now, there is no longer an individual YOU, there is a WE, your independent attitude is self defeating and will ultimately cause the destruction of your marriage because you are more concerned with yourself than with your marriage
but if you wish to go along with this then hyphenate your name, or just keep your name and not worry about what your husband wants and start saving money for that divorce lawyer
2007-01-17 20:22:42 · answer #4 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should change your name, its not like you are a movie star or something. Thats what people do when they get married, they take their husbands name. Maybe you could try to understand why it is so important to him for you to take his last name instead of him having to worry about why it isnt "right" for you.
2007-01-17 19:51:10 · answer #5 · answered by Kari R 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hyphenate your last name...that's a compromise. Or do like a friend of mine did and use your maiden name as your middle name and your married name as your last.
2007-01-17 19:51:00 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer M 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If your identity is your single name, you are not ready to be married.
There would be no compromise from me either.
If you are to be my wife and now family you will adopt the name.
Your single name is you as child, daughter of your parents. If you want to hang on to that then no marriage for you.
2007-01-17 19:53:28 · answer #7 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can keep your maiden name. that could be more acceptable to him. Otherwise he could consider this as a personal insult !
2007-01-18 00:28:47 · answer #8 · answered by kenneth h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should respect your opinion about keeping you last name, however you might consider your name and his hyphenated, ex. Smith-Johnson.
2007-01-17 19:50:41 · answer #9 · answered by StormyC 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ask him if he'd like to change his name. Use the hyphen like so many women do. That way you have the ole you AND the new you...........It's STILL YOU!
2007-01-17 19:49:39 · answer #10 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋