Ok,I am 23,hubby 25,no kids,been together 7 years.He has always been a great worker over 40 hrs a week for the past 6 yearsI have always had a job too.We have been married 3 1/2 years.hubby keeps throwing up money cuz he makes 23.an hr and I make 9 at one job and 6 at my other one.We lived by his parents for 3 years,and sold the house and moved in w/his sister (it was supposed to be for just a couple months)he tells me that because of ME we have nothing,but he never has any $,I always have more $ then he does!!He says I am dumb(i have a business degree,I got 2 years ago...and fixing to start realtor school)he says im never going to be anyone in life,and etc..I am getting fed up,I have talked calmly an that dont work,yelling doesnt either.and I am sick of it.He says MONEY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN HAPPINESS???What would YOU DO?I have been "polling" people and everyone says LEAVE FAST.But we have been together 7 years,I love him but dont know what else to do?ADVICE???Thanks guys
2007-01-17 11:16:47 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I work usually 60 hrs a week too
2007-01-17 11:17:23 · update #1
he also took all the$$$ we made when we sold the house and put in an acct with just his name on it...we get along fine as far as sex and etc..but its just that nagging money and his telling me im lazy fat dumb etc...
2007-01-17 11:18:34 · update #2
My thought exactly, only I don't get called names by him to my face. When I was working, his sister was living with us for free and She was just as lazy as him. I did always have more money than him and only had one job making $8 an hour and paying for my car and almost all the bills because I didn't go waste it on useless junk. I know how you feel. I have been with my husband for almost 6 years now. My husband told me we would never have anything, and that he can't save money in a bank because they will just take it. He work's off shore. I do wonder if he even cares if I have to go with out things sometimes. At first, he wouldn't even pay the bills and I wouldn't have enough money to pay them so I would have to ask my parents for the money because he would get pissed off if I let his family know he didn't pay for something.
I don't want to leave mine either, but ...maybe in your situation it would be better because he did take the money from the house you both lived in and put it where you can't get it. Also, how long are you willing to put up with the verbal abuse?
2007-01-17 11:39:35 · answer #1 · answered by liquidblue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow for him to actually insult you the way he does is pretty harsh. I can understand when talking calmly doesn't work and yelling doesn't either. Suggest counselling and if he refuses (which it sounds like he will) say, "Well, how do YOU suggest we fix this?" It sounds like you've really tried to make the effort and he's resisting for some reason. Definitely get this sorted before you have any kids. As hard as it is, maybe attempt to have more fun too, rather than base everything around money. Suggest going to the park with a picnic and taking the football to throw around. I know being a girl that isn't that much fun, but boys love it. Something inexpensive to spend time together and try and rekindle some fun. Good luck. This is a tough one.
2007-01-17 11:33:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one should have to put with constantly being told that they’re dumb/fat/lazy/etc. That’s emotional abuse. You can ask him if he’ll go to counseling with you, but if he refuses (and many abusers do refuse because they don’t think THEY are the one with the problem), then LEAVE. I don’t care if you do have 7 years in the relationship. You’re only 23. You have many more years left on this earth. Is this really how you want to spend them? If so, then YOU might need to talk to a counselor about why you would allow someone to treat you this way.
By the way, even if he makes more money than you and even if he put all the money from the sale of the house into an account with just his name, it’s still martial funds, so if you end up in divorce court, make sure you ask for your part. (I say that assuming that the house was martial property).
2007-01-17 15:44:59 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is the way you want to live the rest of your life???? With someone that doesn't appreciate you as person .. Then stay there if both of you have a good job earn good $$$ then why not start having something of your own that way in the future if kids come you will not have to worry much about $$ and can spend time with kids and hubby.... But it seems like there is no respect and you are the one who loves him and maybe you are afraid of moving out... But let me tell you that this will continue no matter what and if you decide to have kids it can be worst ...It doesn't matter that you have 7 yrs with him or even 17th yrs... If there is not a good relationship overall then there is no way you will have one later on ..so think aboput it before you have kids you are on time to move on an look for someone better doen't waste your time with him!!!!
2007-01-17 11:45:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have to wrestle control of your money away. If he is making decent money and living like a pauper he is obsessing on money to no good end.. One day it will all collapse around him.
You must make up your own mind here but there is one thing I do know. When people are in their death bed no one says I wish I'd made more money.
2007-01-17 11:48:33 · answer #5 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try couples consoling if it doesn't work try separation for a couple of mounts if it doesn't work don't have kids get divorced to leave them in the middle become a Realtor don't ever let someone hold you back from your goal if he doesn't understand sorry to say it but you need to leave best luck!!!!!! KISSES!
2007-01-17 11:47:32 · answer #6 · answered by Sharika 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Normally your cosmetic makes me dizzy.... now this question has surpassed even that dizziness....... What in case your hubby's on-line spouse had a woman at the facet who had a web-based hubby who had a web-based mistress.... omg... I believe I simply.....um..... blush
2016-09-07 22:51:54 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well take the advice you got the first time around and LEAVE his @ss!! why would an intelligent woman like yourself put up with all the criticism and put downs? he doesnt love you. he's disrespecting you. cant you see that? calling you names and telling you youre never gonna be anyone in life.... get rid of the loser! trust me. there are lots of guys who would love to have a woman like you!
2007-01-17 11:29:49 · answer #8 · answered by pussycat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave now. He sounds very selfish and likes to belittle you. Get out now while you are young and can start over.
2007-01-17 11:27:34 · answer #9 · answered by StormyC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get professional counseling for him, he is obviously intimidated by you and is afraid of losing you...good luck!
2007-01-17 11:28:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋