When he walks he talks and there is no doubt about that
He reminds me of a thousand warriors
In a battle where he’s the winner
A taste of his kiss reminds me of honey molasses
There’s just no way to describe his scent
It is like no other
He’s got me caught up mentally, spiritually
He got me feeling like spring
With its blossoming flowers
Light of my life he is
Shining brightly through my soul
Emancipating me from girl to woman
Deep as the ocean I feel his touch
His masculinity has bewitched me forever
2007-01-17 11:14:34 · 86 answers · asked by get outta here howdy 1 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
I like it very cute!
2007-01-17 11:24:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poetry is a personal thing. This is not a bad poem, it has lots of feeling. If you really want some artistic feedback about this I would suggest registering with a site called YourPoetryDotCom. It's free to join and you can post up to 3 poems a day, these poems will be read and commented on by other poets who will respect your work.
2007-01-17 11:33:19 · answer #2 · answered by Curious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the poem is really sweet and very touching, it comes from your heart and soul there is no doubt, The poem has really touched my heart, for anyone that is in love or has ever loved they to should feel the emotions that I feel in my heart and my soul just by reading the words, You have described the man of my dreams, the man that I married 33 years ago and the man ,even after all of these years still makes me feel exactly like the poem you have written, the man that I love with all of my heart and soul, my Husband! I hope with all of my heart that you will love and be loved as I have, and you can feel after 33 years
about your husband as I have felt about mine The poem you have written tells exactly the way I have felt from the first moment I laid eyes on him. He is the light of my life!! And this is what I think of your poem. You brought back so many beautiful memories for me and you described my husband to a tee.
Thanking You, with all of my heart!
2007-01-17 12:09:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that reminds me of me.!!Thank You,Ha Ha . that's really GREAT!! No really,I liked that.a lot.It does reminds me of me when I was young.a little bit anyways.I sure wish someone had created a poem like that for me, I would have cherished it all my life. if they did.
you should type up your poems and put them on a disc, bring them as a book form to a printer.you can design it anyway you wont with pictures and all on the pages, then get a web site to have there for people to order your book and give half to a charity and then have the charity advertise you site and well. take it on Lady , your as fine poet as I have read. Praise God for your talent please go for it, keep it up.and Good Luck
2007-01-17 15:14:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is definitely amateur. There's no rythm, the topic doesn't flow, the phrases seem lost. It seems more like ramblings. Your attempts at imagery are pretty good, but they didn't follow through how you wanted. There was one phrase i couldn't even guess at what you meant: "Deep as the ocean I feel his touch." Are you saying his touch is deep? I also feel the best poems ever written were written metaphorically, not with a dozen similies. Sorry if this criticism isn't what you wanted to hear, but it's the only way to improve. If I say this was good, you'd fall short of the mark if you wanted to publish them.
2007-01-17 11:35:03 · answer #5 · answered by Gray 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that you have a good idea but you need to make it connect to be a poem. But other than that you did a good job. Try getting info on writing and take it to the next level. You can do it- Good Job.
2007-01-17 11:30:40 · answer #6 · answered by rosebud 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that this poem has potential. I think that it's writer could find a more descriptive and powerful way to convey some of the basic sentences. I.e.>>> In a battle where he's the winner<<< I would suggest that the writer be more vivid with her words. Hope that helps you some! Good luck! Love it!
2007-01-17 11:28:42 · answer #7 · answered by Wingedlover 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I like but me myself I am more into rhyming poems. But I do like your poem, it reminds me of the type of poem someone would read slowoly while the drums are playing! But I showed it to to some of my friends and they all LUVED it!
2007-01-17 11:28:49 · answer #8 · answered by Broken Key 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think hes got you hook,whom ever he is. I sure don't want to be in your shoes...Poem to ,wimpy you wear your heart on your selves. I hope the person you wrote it for doesn't know ,or read this,cause if he does your going to be kissing butt the rest of your natural life.
2007-01-17 11:53:48 · answer #9 · answered by BOBBIE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha, I'm not going to lie, that is not good at all and shouldn't even be called a poem. Its too straightforward and the symbolism used is so cliche. a poem is supposed to be music to your ears just as a beautiful painting is to the eyes.... this would hurt my ears.
2007-01-17 11:31:59 · answer #10 · answered by DONNA Q 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess it's fine
But I'm not sure if it should be a poem or a letter
2007-01-17 12:05:03 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋