chock me ,If I ever thought about getting married again. I was married once for 15 years. So she would not be at all for this. And belive me she can make my life a living hell when she dont get her way. What can I do?
2007-01-17 11:13:13 · 17 answers · asked by Sonya 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are all right , I am not a kid. In fact I am 46 years old. I am a single Mom , I live on my own, pay my own bills and take care of my own buz. My Mom is just a control freak...If she opts not to be a part of my happiness then that will be her problem. Plus I think she is sorta a man hater. Oh well I will do as I please and worry about her later, She will get over it,Im the only one that will put up with her crap. My sister hangs up on her when she starts in....LOL I wish I could be more like that.
2007-01-17 11:43:59 · update #1
Sonya if you were married for 15 years once before then I'm imagining that your not a teenager. As such you should be capable of making your own decisions (regardless whether mom agrees with them or not) and be happy with the ones you've made. Besides how do you know for certain that she would not be 100% supportive of this boyfriend taking her daughter as his wife. She as a mother must certainly place your happiness above you being lonely. In my opinion you take the plunge and just explain to mom that this is your decision and that you hope that she'll support it and be happy for you. Best of luck and congrats.
2007-01-17 11:27:58 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make your own decisions. Your mother should not make your decisions for you. Your mother has no right to tell you not to remarry, the only reason she does so is because you allow her.
Ditto for making your life a living hell. You ALLOW her to make your life a living hell.
Separate yourself completely from your mother. You are too intertwined. Are you dependent on her somehow? Like for food, shelter, a job, money or child care? If so, separate! Find another way to get what you need. Trust me, it IS possible.
Or, is she dependent on you somehow? If so, you are the one REALLY in control, whether you know it or not. She knows it, in this case, and fears it, that's why she is so controlling. Let her know you are in charge in this case, and if she doesn't like it she can leave.
HOW you do this in any case is very important. Stand up for yourself, but do not scream, yell, cry, argue, make idle threats, etc. Do not allow yourself to get emotional. This is a POSITIVE life decision you are making, the decision to live your own life. Act like an adult, and she will eventually respect you for taking this action. Eventually. . . although don't ever expect her to ever acknowledge it.
She may threaten you with the loss of her love. This is her fear of losing control talking, don't listen. Just silently recall that a loving mother lets her child go, supports her decisions, and is there to cheer you on when you do well, and listen (but not advise) when you don't.
Good luck. We only get one life in this life. You and your mother are entitled to one each. She doesn't get to live both your lives, You are entitled to one, too.
2007-01-17 11:47:48 · answer #2 · answered by Icky Vicky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what your heart tells you. Don't let your mother live your life for you.
Two years is a decent amount of time for your boyfriend to have proven his commitment to you.
It is ultimately not your mother's decision. Tell her that you are very excited about your decision, and that if she cannot respect it and be happy for you, then she runs the risk of not being included in your life.
If she is the crazy kind to make trouble for you when she doesn't get her way, that is not love. Move if you have to, but don't let her interfere with your life.
Congratulations on finding someone wonderful, and good luck with everything. I hope this helps. :)
2007-01-17 11:29:03 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't assume that your mother wouldn't approve of marrying your current boyfriend. She might have changed her mind. Ask her, what she thinks. However, don't let your mother control your life. You must decide what is best for you. Think about weather you would be happy being married to this man. Best wishes.
2007-01-17 11:30:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you were married for 15 years once, you are at least 30. Hon, yo mama is jealous..... Grow up, and do what you want. If you live with her, move out, get a job, and live your own life What ARE you thinking?
2007-01-17 11:23:10 · answer #5 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you have to live your own life. By the sound of it, you are old enough to make your own decisions. Yes she may be able to make your life worst, but you can't let her run your life. Live your life for you. If she doesn't agree, well invite her anyway and let it be her decision as to whether she shows up or not....especially if you want to marry him.
2007-01-17 11:27:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait, you've been marrid once for fifteen years. then you have a BF of two years now. so i guess you are around 35 years old atleast.
do you still let your mother decide for you? you're supposed to stand up for your own and make the decision for yourself. find out why she doesn't want you to marry again. even though she likes your bf.
2007-01-17 12:04:43 · answer #7 · answered by Coolitz 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your life and one day your mother will not be here to control it. You need to take control of your life now, you are obviously not a child, do what you know is right for you. Good luck.
2007-01-17 11:24:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you decide to marry him, I recommend you both move far far away from your mother. That way she can't make your life a living hell. I should know. Been there, done that.
2007-01-17 11:22:12 · answer #9 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your relationship with your mother is the key issue here, not whether you should get married again. If you don't draw some boundaries soon, you never will.
2007-01-17 11:22:33 · answer #10 · answered by Bethany 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋