Why do straight girls...?

Question

Always want to know if their boysfriends/husbands are gay?

Why don't they just ask their men?
Has COMMUNICATION actually died and no one told me?

Or are they so shallow and wrapped up in themselves that these men are loosing interest in these selfish women?

OR is it these women are so shallow and self-centered that they don't see their own short comings and think that by accusing their men of being gay they can deny any accountability for their own relationships failing?

Answer 1

I feel the last option (blaming to avoid responsibility) is the most popular. How conVENient.
And, I think you're on to something about communication. If people keep getting together only for the fun, and not for the true bonding that communication leads to, well . . . whatever would there be to speak of after the heat cools?
Sad, really missing the best part of living.

Answer 2

I agree with you to an extent, BUT I will say a couple things in defense of these women.

1. The saying is often used "methinks he doth protest too much" when referring to one of the "signs" of a closeted male is that he often acts very homophobic. Maybe some women are pretty sure by their husbands apparent attitudes towards gay men that a. they would not admit they were gay even if they were and b. are afraid of a really angry and rageful backlash just for asking.
2. You have to have a LITTLE pity for these women, in that its one of those situations where they want to know, but they don't. They're so scared of it being true and changing their lives that they're emotionally unprepared to confront the reality of it by going to their husbands, yet it nags them in the back of their head telling them they need to know, so they turn to outlets like yahoo answers, annoying as it may be to you.
3. There is a huge and understandable fear of accusing someone of something or even questioning someone and then being WRONG. Sometimes women can be highly influenced by other people's outspoken opinions, or things they see in the media, or the statistics they hear about how practically everyone is bi, and they get this little idea in their head of questioning their husband's sexuality, and then they begin to obsess and look at everything as a clue, when most of them know the truth is they COULD be very WRONG.

I sympathize because I think its a tough position to be in on either end. Sure, sometimes the individual subjects are women such as you described, but I think a lot of times they are just confused, scared, and maybe naive. Nobody wants to build a life with someone and then find out it was ALL a lie. That's rough stuff.

If a man is having relations with other men or fantasies of other men, and he's keeping it completely secret, what makes any of you think he will just easilly give up that information by her asking point-blank?

Answer 3

Justine, I have to agree with you here.

I keep saying "why don't you ask him?"

I've probably answered the same reply a hundred times but it seems some people just are not getting the idea to ask their own boyfriends themselves?

The truth is, how are we supposed to know if your boyfriends gay?

Can people online really answer questions when they've never met the person being questioned?

I hope there are some people who can see what I'm getting at?

Answer 4

I think loads and loads of men are a bit bi, but it's not generally acknowledged.

If you haven't figure out for yourself that a lot of guys like other guys... you end up thinking your boyfriend is kinda odd.

Not everyone talks about everything you know. It can be a good way to run a relationship. If you are always talking about stuff, sometimes you say things you don't mean... or you only mean at the time.

Answer 5

I would have to agree with you when you say "why don't you they just ask their men?"
If there is something wrong in a relationship, be it gay or straight, communication and trust is the key. If something is bothering and you can't talk your partner/spouse about it or get counseling, then nothing will ever get better.
Maybe they have a legitimate suspicion? who knows? but if there's no reason to really believe he may be bi/gay, then I'd say that it was a cop out.

Answer 6

This appears like an really puzzling challenge. in case you 2 are very pleasant on the workplace, have you ever considered asking her to bypass get a drink or have dinner or some thing? on the least it appears like you 2 have some type of chemistry, inspite of if its only a delightful ingredient. the in reality way you would possibly want to figure this out is to get her in a extra intimate putting, or to in reality be blunt. As a instantly lady, i have been at a loss for words as a lesbian previously by making flattering comments. in reality, I only get excitement from the great thing about the female body/visual appeal and haven't any sexual thoughts for women folk. So...attempt to dig at her slightly extra over a cocktail and word what takes position!

Answer 7

I hear ya, sister!
You should see all the questions in "dating" about "how do I know whether or not they like me, what are the tricks and signs?" I fail to see why it never occurs to these people (women AND men) that they should just ASK a QUESTION?

At least with a straightforward question (pardon the pun) you get a direct answer.

Answer 8

Why all the hostility? If I was to make that same blanket statement about gays and lesbians I would be called a bigot. Maybe they are being genuine. Lighten up, not everyone is "shallow and self-centered". Life is too short to be this nasty. I do agree with you that they need to talk with their boyfriend.

Answer 9

Not sure why, but I feel that some of the worried wives/girlfriends here, are making up the story.

I really cannot imagine so many concerned ladies coming here instead of confronting their partner.

Have you noticed that at least 2 wives/girlfriends a day ask that question?

I could be wrong, of course.

Answer 10

There could be several reasons why they are thinking this. Maybe they are gay themselves and are testing the waters here, maybe they find gay male sex to be hot (just like a lot of straight men with lesbians), maybe they are in a relationship with a guy who hasn't come to grips with their own sexuality, etc, etc, etc.