I know that no matter how good it may be, no relationship is anywhere near perfect--so what is/are the cause?

Question

of conflict in your relationship(s), past or present? Is it money, dishonesty, incompatibility, boredom, what??

Answer 1

There's always going to be some conflict in long term relationships. When two people hook up they come with a history. We all have our likes, dislikes and it would be a rare partnership indeed if you agreed on everything.
Before I got married, I attended pre-marital counseling. The counselor said there are three things that will make or break a marriage. If you can't agree on these things, there will inevitably be problems.
1. Sex
2. Money
3. In-laws
Dishonesty would definitely be a deal breaker for me. Hopefully, incompatibility would be discovered before the commitment but I know that doesn't always happen. I've always thought boredom is more an issue of laziness. Good relationships take work and tolerance!

Answer 2

All couples will disagree over something. No one can get along all the time. And remember that men and women can see things quite differently, no matter what the subject might be. Most arguments have to deal with the lack of $$$$ or the lack of feeling loved. Stress that builds up due to any problem can cause major headache for couples and the first step to dealing with any situation is to keep an open communication line. Couples who can talk honestly with each other and feel comfortable telling each other what they are feeling can make things much easier than letting things build up and keeping them bottled up. Their are many things that can come between people, but only if you allow it to happen.

Answer 3

We've been married for almost 37 years. We have had conflicts because of a number of things over the years... initially it was because we were young and both came from backgrounds where there was no good models for resolving conflicts; we each had our own baggage and needs and thought that we had to run roughshod over the other to get those needs met; money sometimes caused problems; not really knowing how to 'do' a relationship well caused problems, and likely each of the other things you have listed popped its head somewhere. Ain't humans great? But the fact is, we are still together and we honestly have learned to relate in a very effective and loving way. These are the things that have helped us:
(1) God in our lives-- having a faith that we share (prayer, beliefs, commitment, ministry, community)-- in the beginning we didn't have this and it was a source of contention
(2) Family-- we love our kids and are committed to passing on a legacy of love and caring-- as young parents we made a lot of mistakes and really had to have our heads metaphorically banged together to get it.... we have asked forgiveness from our kids for the dumb things we did when they were younger.... we have mutual adoration for our granddaughter
(3) Support and Learning: we went to Marriage Encounter, Alpha, various programs in our own church community, and accrued a lot of excellent supportive friends who have loved us as a couple, mentored us, and kept us accountable over the years
(4) We've found out who we are SEPARATE from the other person and aren't joined at the hip. I do ToastMasters, my husband does athletic stuff; I like to do Yahoo!Answers, and he likes to travel. It's all good.

All the best!

Answer 4

think once the honeymoon is over, we see the person more clearly, we no longer have the illusions we had when we first met them, and sometimes we get down right disappointed, and feel disenchanted by arguments, money problems, boredom, alot of different things. love is not a feeling, but a decision to stay in a marriage that is less than perfect, because once the honeymoon period is over there will be storms, and problems, just depends on if one is mature enough to know this is reality, and no one is perfect, each and every one of us do have our issues, but if we are willing and allowed to communicate these problems, without fear of getting bashed, than the problems get smaller when the significant other is willing to listen, no matter how trivial they think it is.

Answer 5

A lot of arguments are over money, dishonesty, selfishness and the kids. Personally l think most of them are caused by lack of communication, that's my theory anyway.

Answer 6

ANYTHING can cause a problem. Communication is generally the biggest issue. If there is a problem, we don't communicate or deal properly...the problem just gets worse. Very few people understand how to talk with their mate...they just explode and worsen the condition. Love is not supposed to hurt--physically or mentally. Be fair, have respect and keep the integrity. This is a 2 sided thing...not just for one person. My motto " JUST BE NICE"

Answer 7

Most of the time I think is NO COMUNICATION and TRUST, most couples sometimes figth over $$$ if they spend more or if there is not enough ... But there are no PERFECT couples there has to be something but I think if there is a good communication there should be a good relartionship no matter what !!!!! this is just my personal opinion!!

Answer 8

all of the above plus about 100 other things, it's how you deal w the conflicts that makes it last or not and if the good stuff outweighs the bad

Answer 9

i guess i'm the only one that has a PERFECT marriage.
we don't fight, or argue. she he have disagreements, but we don't fight about them, we discuss them. he knows that i don't talk politics with anyone, so when he is talking about something political, he knows he won't get a response from me, but i'll listen.
we give each other space to pursue hobbies, and we spend as much time together as possible. we don't lie or cheat, we both work, and we both pay bills. there is nothing in this world important enough to fight over. DISCUSS IT, but don't fight.

if you ARE going to fight, get naked first, then say whatever you have to say, but you both have to be naked...............

Answer 10

My prob always seems to be not understanding each other and being dishonest. I can deal with almost anything, my pet pev is lying. As long as you can trust each other you can make it through any situation.