My ex fiance broke up with me in November after 7.5 yrs, he said that he didnt love me anymore, he saw me as a friend and he didnt see me in the same way and he didnt want 'this situation'. He had always said he was happy about things previously.This broke my heart. He never had a steady income and i am purchasing my home with my mother as this was the best way to get on the property ladder, so our situation was unusual. Since our split i have found out that he has talked to other women on a chat site and 1 woman he put a comment on her site 'you hottie' and 'babes'. This hurt me. Now i know he was talking 2 her prior to him dumping me, which he admits but says it was nothing, claims he was flattered by the attention and he wants me back cos he realizes he never stopped loving me. He said he will do anything and even go back to how it was if thats what i want. What do i do? i love him, but can i trust him? he says he would never want to be without me, but how can i believe him?.
2007-01-17 10:35:17 · 14 answers · asked by charm73x 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You said it. Can you ever trust him? That's a question only you can answer. Personally, I think he didn't get the "babes" he thought he would, and knows you love him very much, so he's coming back to you now?
I think the ball's in your court, and you have to decide if you can live with this in your gut for a long time just to be with him.
2007-01-17 10:57:25 · answer #1 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you feel do you love him? Do you trust him?
Unfortunately nobody can tell you what to do. Did you have a happy relationship, do you feel you could of been treated better? Take all these things into consideration before making a decision. If you get back with him will you be paranoid everytime he's ona computer and wander who he's chatting too? Will that insecurity eat away at you? I've been there and its a horrible feeling i had an ex who was a liar and a cheat but i took him back, begged him back actually, time and time again. I finally left him but even in my next relationship i still had trust issues that took a long time to go.
Never settle for second best, never feel like your putting more into a relationship than someone else. Always be with someone who makes you feel happy, loved and secure thats all that matters. Good luck in whatever you decide.
2007-01-17 10:44:41 · answer #2 · answered by cynical kitten 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tricky one. He could have honestly made a mistake, maybe he was depressed and confused the situation. Really you have to assess it but after such a long break it will be difficult. My husband and I broke up before we got married because he said he didn't love me but he made a mistake and we got back together and got married a few years later. However we were only apart about a week and even that still hurt me immensly for a long time. Even now it hurts from time to time.
This is a very difficult thing to get over so consider carefully.
2007-01-18 12:42:55 · answer #3 · answered by Starkitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a dilemma. Well, on one hand, you guys have been together a long time, and everyone has heard of the seven year itch........but on the other hand, if you feel you can't trust him don't bother.
Then again, only you know him really. If this was out of charactor, then maybe start dating again, take it really slowly, but don't invest too much emotion at first, tell him he has to prove himself to you, as a lover, a partner, a friend, and a man. Last thing you should do is out things how they were, that's way too much pressure and all that, you have effectively had your heart broken, don't risk it all again too soon.
2007-01-17 10:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by CHARISMA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well we can't answer that, can we, you are the only person that knows if you can trust him.
From this question, it can be one of two things. He realises the grass isn't greener on the other side, and realises what he did throw away, and he will come back better than ever, OR he's a jobless waster, and sees you as a good hook-up to owning a house while he still chats up women on-line. We don't know him to decide that, you do.
Good luck.
2007-01-17 11:05:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
7.5 years is a long time to be together and, yes, things can get a bit mundane, but he told you that he didn't love you anymore and that he sees you just as a friend. Surely you do not fall in and out of love with someone. You are either IN LOVE with that person or not. My advice would be not to take him back. It's easier said than done, but believe me, you will find someone who will love you and not mess you about. When you find that new someone, your will realise that you made the right decision.
2007-01-17 10:42:47 · answer #6 · answered by JillPinky 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he may have needed the break to confirm that he wanted you, maybe he was at that crossroad and asking that v.important 'sh*t or get of the pot' question. As long as you realise you can't go back to how it was, you may have a chance. I suggest you start dating again and getting to know each other again, a lot passes that you don't know about within a relationship and it may help bring the spark back.
2007-01-17 10:44:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey he is coming back because he has no where else to go no one wants so if you love him take him and may learn to trust him
2007-01-17 10:43:55 · answer #8 · answered by Alee Pac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is built on TRUST, so, I suggest you either get over him or get over his lying, cheating, manipulative past and get on with your life. By the way, he isn't the only pea in the pod.
2007-01-17 10:39:15 · answer #9 · answered by LaRae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've got to let go. He's a rat and that's all there is to it. How dare he treat you like this. You're far too good for him and deserve much better. Tell him he blew his chances.
2007-01-17 10:39:20 · answer #10 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋