i have two kids from before i meet my hubby they are age 4 (twins)
I want another baby so bad but my hubby shuts off every time i try to talk to him about it.
I think hes scared.
He new before we got married how much i wanted another baby then wedding done and now he dont really want one
Help??
2007-01-17 10:30:08 · 23 answers · asked by kelly H 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
He did say before we got married that he wanted to have a baby with me.
We can afford another child.
2007-01-17 10:42:10 · update #1
This is tough. A lot of men tell you what you want to hear until the wedding; I know my husband did! We all make ourselves more desirable to the other person; you never truly know someone until you are married. And even then...
Try talking to him and remind him that when you were engaged, he knew how much you wanted another baby. But I will tell you something--it's not fun having a baby when the father wants no part in it. He may warm up to it after the baby is born, but then again he may not.
Good luck with your situation, I truly hope it works out for the best.
2007-01-17 10:44:07 · answer #1 · answered by *Jessy* 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well that kind of sucks, if you discussed it before marriage, and now he is not wanting one. Maybe he sees the twins as enough for now, or maybe parenthood is more then he expected and hes not ready to expand the family. Also he could be worried about money, another child= more expenses. Either way, do not push him into it. A child should be wanted by both parents. He might just need more time. He is a step daddy and trying to get use to that, maybe he just wants to focus on the twins for right now. Give him some time and hopefully he will come around. Good luck!!
2007-01-17 10:34:20 · answer #2 · answered by misty n justin 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
From the seem of a few solutions it kind of feels just like the bonding factor among daddy and youngster is with video video games and that is the distinctive identical factor with my 15 month historical and my husband. Daddy remains to be a tremendous child and also you are not able to take him clear of his priceless PS3 so if daddy is gambling Jaanali is correct subsequent to him gambling and screaming and there is not any combating for the controller right here we had an historical PS2 faraway and we reduce off the twine (for security and in addition in view that while Jaanali noticed that daddy's did not have a twine he did not wish his anymore) so that they each get to play even as. The funniest factor is that you simply listen Jaanali screaming oh guy I wager he hears daddy say that plenty too and he makes the distinctive identical gestures that my husband makes while he is all into the sport. And as an skilled gamer he additionally is aware of in which to push to get the sport out and how one can positioned it again in.
2016-09-08 03:47:53 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok here goes. A child is not just a spere of the moment thing. Your husband knows that this future child will be around when the marriage may not be. If you are serious about the baby then sign a baby nuptual, releasing him from any future child support. It sounds stupid, but now days men know that if something goes wrong with the marriage the women will take most everything they can. be real you know this also. If you believe the marriage willl last forever then you will have no problem releasing him from the future child support. A attorney can set this up
2007-01-17 10:43:32 · answer #4 · answered by gimlost2 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The last thing you want to do is pressure him into having a baby or anything else for that matter, he will end up resenting you, big time. You should ask him straight out, do you want to have a baby with me? If he says not right now, then is your decision... what can you really do? Leave him? Either way I think your going to have to wait, unless you want to be a single mom of three.
2007-01-17 10:36:49 · answer #5 · answered by Zarahel 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
My first thought:
I hate to say it, but you are a victim of fraud. If he led you on by saying he wanted children then suddenly he claims he does not, then you have been misled. You need to go into counselling because this is not a small matter that can go away with time.
My second thought:
Toddlers and preschoolers can be a handful. Maybe his experience with your children is making him rethink having more children. Get some counselling to see if this is something you can work through. Maybe when your children have through this stage he may be more receptive.
2007-01-17 10:37:36 · answer #6 · answered by Katherine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems like you both have a case of "I wants"
Why do you WANT another baby? Can you both afford another child? Do you know WHY your husband doesn't want another child?
Yes, he knew that you wanted a baby but you also knew that he didn't.
Don't just blame him for not listening when you aren't listening either. Don't assume he's scared without first talking with him.
Sometime sit down with him and DISCUSS children with him. Ask him how he feels about children and why he feels like that. Don't accuse or come at him, but listen to him. Then explain to him how you feel about children and WHY you would like another child.
This isn't something strangers can figure out for you. This is something you and your husband need to work out together. A child is a HUGE deal, and if your husband isn't 100% for it, then you two need to discuss and come up with a solution.
2007-01-17 10:35:14 · answer #7 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like your husband was not honest with you if he knew that you wanted more children, and he also knew that he did not.
You can try couple's counseling. But I find it a bad sign that he's "shutting" you down. This is a very big deal. It boils down to you deciding what your priority is - more kids, or staying with your husband.
Good luck!
2007-01-17 10:33:04 · answer #8 · answered by P_P_K 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Whatever you do, DO NOT GET PREGNANT without his approval! He has his reasons and it could easily cause major problems if you force him to do something he is not ready for. Try whatever you can to get him to talk with you about this - it's a major issue and you guys need to iron it out. You can always get counseling for yourself without him too. Could be he is scared to admit he has changed his mind.
2007-01-17 10:38:00 · answer #9 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can keep working on changing his mind, but I wouldn't recommend deceiving him and getting pregnant on purpose. That's NO way to have a good marriage, and he might resent the child forever.
2007-01-17 10:33:17 · answer #10 · answered by bibliophile31 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋