Am i doing the right thing?

Question

i am about a month and a half pregnant, and i am 17. Me and my boyfriend have been together since i was just turned 14, and we love each other to peices, and are both convinced we will be together forever, its perfect, and we got engaged on christmas day. However, is having a baby the wrong thing to do, or am i just panicing about it all due to the shock, i am getting used to it, and we both have very supportive families, i am just worried about financialysupporting it, and theres so much to think about i cant even think, its so strange, but i know we will both be loving caring parents,HELPPP :( x

Answer 1

Having a child is very stressful no matter what your age, I had my son just two months before my 18th birthday, my son is 19 months old now and i would not change him for the world, the relationship with his father however turned sour and he left us.

If you are thinking about keeping your child then you need to mentally prepare yourself for the possibility of looking after your baby on your own incase you and your partner split up. However you sound like you have a mature head on your shoulders and you say that you and your partner have been together for a few years now.

My suggestion to you would be to write a list out of pros and cons and then just chuck it away and follow your heart, if neither you or your boyfriend are working then you will be entitled to help from the Government

Only you know whether having the baby is the right thing for you to do

Congratulations and good luck - just folow your heart x (i hope it all works out for you)

Answer 2

Money isn't everything. You've already made the decision to have the baby..to terminate this pregnancy would be totally wrong..especially since you are both in love and have a stable relationship. Also just think you'll be cool young parents..I mean when your children are grown up they wont have a problem coming to you because they wont see you as Old. Not that i encourage teen pregnancy, but your already pregnant so you might as well look at the bright side of things. Plus if your families are both supportive of your relationship I'm sure adding a baby to the picture wont be a total shock. And if nothing else there is always state support for people who are low income with children..its no shame to ask for help in a time like this. I just wouldn't rely on it my entire life. But Good Luck..( 25 weeks pregnant with my first..19yrs old!)

Answer 3

Its all up to you. You both have supportive families so im sure they will help with anything. Just make sure your boyfriend has a good job and start saving up as much money as possible.
Just take time and think of all of your options keeping the baby, abortion, adoption. You could do an open adoption where you can still be a part of the childs life in some way. Some cases you would be know as auntie or just a friend of the family. Others they send you pictures and updates on the baby but you cant see him/her until they are 18 and want to see you.
hope i helped, remember no one can make up your mind for you.

Answer 4

You're 17? It's not my place or anyone else's to tell you if it's right. But if you're planning on having a life other than the baby, then I might suggest you wait? If you'll be together forever, then you can have a baby later in life when you're sure what you want. I suggest you talk about it with someone close to you (objective so not ONLY your bf). But whatever you do, make your decision based on what you want in the future and not just what you think will help you and your boyfriend stay together forever. Things REALLY change after high school, so are you sure this baby is good for your future? I mean, I'm 17, and I just feel like having a baby at 17 is just a bad decision for the future. Maybe good for now, but not good for the future.

Answer 5

Hi girl CONGRATS! I'm 17 too and im 32 weeks pregnant. You are similar to me in a few ways, i have been with my partner since i was 14 too, and we also got engaged this christmas! You said you knew you'd both be loving, caring parents and i'm sure you will. Just because you're young does NOT mean you'll be any less of a good parent AT ALL. It's great you and your lover's families are supportive, i don't see any reason to consider an adoption, sounds like you'll be just fine! All the best xXx

Answer 6

The cynics are going to say you and your boyfriend wont last i hope you prove them wrong. Say you dont last the distance and you split up will that make you bad parents...No. Your not millionaires will that make you bad parents...No.
You say you have supportive families that's a good thing, and your boyfriend sounds like a lovely mature person you both do.
People will say how hard it is having a baby, before i had my son people constantly said 'enjoy your life while you still can'. Total rubbish i was blessed with an angel of a baby and love love love being a mom, so the terrible twos are a bit more difficult! But i wouldn't change it for the world. Being a parent is the most challenging, interesting, rewarding, fun, stressful, emotional, enjoyable amazing thing anyone could do.
There are people who are older with financial security who are terrible parents so dont let anyone tell you juts because yoou are young you wont make good parents. You'll make fab parents because you'll be young enough to empathise with them when they hit there terrible teens!
At the end of the day its your body and your choice whatever that may be, no one else can make that decision for you, whatever it will be will be the right one. Giving your child love is more important than anything else you could give.

Answer 7

I think as long as you both have supportive families that truly care and as long as you both stay in school and graduate so you can support a baby then you both should be ok... it's a good sign that you are concerned and worried because it means you already love this baby.. But remember to take education very seriously so that this child can have everything it needs and wants in the future as it's growing up...
I was 17 with my first one and never was told the important of education when having a child so please take all the help that is offered to you through family and friends and remember that there is no such thing as super mom, LOL.... it's normal to make mistakes and you learn as you go... I wish you tons of joy with your new lil one and I am sure everything will go great for this lil one with parents that love each other and love thier baby...

Answer 8

Being only 17 and having a baby is a huge responsibility, as I am sure you are well aware. I can't help thinking that you should be enjoying yourselves as a couple, maybe trying to save for the future. Having a baby is hard work and you may regret it later on when you think back at what you 'may have' missed out on. You state that you will both be loving caring parents and I would say to you "What more could a child want". Good luck to you both.

Answer 9

I got married at 17 and also had my first child at 17...then my second at 19. it wasnt ideal but that was mainly because of all the stick and hassle we got from everyone but I believe me and my husband have brought up two lovely, stable children who people often compliment us on for their lovely manners and their good behaviour. Having a child young has its ups and downs but to be honest its all about the individual really because a 17 year old could be a better mother than some 35 year olds so since you have supportive families id say try to relax a bit about it. Im sure you will do a fab job...infact I think if you get pregnant young you kinda try real hard to be a good parent to show your skeptics that you can do a good job. Goodluck to you both. x x

Answer 10

I had my first child at 18 and my mum was 16 when she had me. We're all fine and everything's ok with life. However....it was HARD work and to be honest I really wouldn't recommend it. I have supportive family, but the baby is your responsibility not theirs and it's difficult to watch your friends go out, have fun, sleep a full night, go to the cinema when you have to arrange babysitters to do the same. Even things like popping to the shops can be a nightmare. Old women on the bus are the worst though. They'll sit and tut at you like you're dirt - heaven forbid you're not married too!
It is lovely to have your own child, I have 3 now, but at that age you are too young. I look at other people who waited a few years more and envy their stability in life. They have cars, houses, holidays. I don't. I have 3 beautiful children who I wouldn't give back, but I cant give them the things they want and that is forever on my mind. Relative's pockets are only so deep and whilst they will buy you the pram, the cot etc day to day living expenses tot up fast.
My daughter is now almost your age. Almost the age I had her at. She's going to college and then uni and is going to travel the world before settling down. She's learnt through experience that having young parents has it's ups and downs and isn't keen to copy her mother!
Whatever you two decide to do will be right for you. Good luck.