My husband and i have been married 7 years, i left a year ago to live on my own and decide what i wanted from my life. I am now back at home because i wanted to do everything possible to say i gave it my all and we felt we couldn't work on our marriage if i was not living home. I am back and feel like everything is still the same. However, i have a husband who loves me to death, is super nice, but has not been able to provide for me and my stepson the way i feel i want to be taken care of. I have always carried the financial burden and worry and i am very tired of it. I am approaching 40 and feel that i am losing out on time. i do know the grass isn't greener on the other side and i am afraid to throw this away for the wrong reasons, but i believe i may be asking for things that my husband isn't capable of...people are who they are right???
2007-01-17 09:14:14 · 12 answers · asked by vogue69 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
this is absolutely normal in this condition, you are stuck on midway between 2 extremes of important factors for a healthy life.
Love
Passion
Relationship
Finance
Freedom
Expectations
Here is how you need to strike the balance
Love: Love yourself, others would love you
Passion: Normally the passion is lost with ageing relationships, you may need to shift to a cause - your family/sons future
Relationship: this needs to be growing, when i say growing, you should be facilitator for the growth of your partner in all aspects
Finance: try sharing the burden slowly, you need to be a motivator, different technique may work, try motivation, create an artificial crisis,
Expectations:
You are giving too much to the family, thats the reason you have elevated expectations, be yourself, do things you love, do things you like.....
Most important, Take a break and go out with entire family....
2007-01-17 09:47:17 · answer #1 · answered by gshu2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to have a straight talk with yourself. Just think hard about what you really want. If your husband is really doing all he could do to make you happy and provide for you and your stepson, then that should make most women happy. If there are other problems that you are not really addressing, then just be candid and discuss them with him. If it is only financial wellness that bothers you, then I am afraid you are just being too selfish and unappreciative to think that he exists only to toil and then bring you the spoils of his work. It is your call.
2007-01-17 17:24:29 · answer #2 · answered by seek_fulfill 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people can and do change but I think your husband is one of the ones that has tasted the life of having everything done for him and liked it too much. This isn't healthy for you. I'm an old fart that still believes the woman should be provided for all throughout life and the guy does the providing.
I think it's time for you to move on. You deserve better than to provide for someone and their kid.
2007-01-17 17:33:36 · answer #3 · answered by Kevin A 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You took vows with your husband. You say he is kind and he loves you. How can you use the word "burden" about your Husband?
You sound like an unhappy person who will complain and be sorry whether you stay in your marriage or not.
Fix yourself, that is the first step to fixing your marriage.
Fondest hopes for your happiness.
2007-01-17 17:19:39 · answer #4 · answered by clacroix00132 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is it always about materialism and money??? who are you trying to impress? yourself, family,children? or is it a depseated problem from childhood of not having "enough"? Some women would die for a man who loves them to death!!and is nice! some get beat and treated like crap and stay with them because of "love'? you have half the pie Lady? your decision is do you want it all or be happy with what God has given you? Life is not perfect neither is a good bet? and time is getting short as you say?why not enjoy what you have and help him to "perfection"? I know you can do it!
2007-01-17 17:25:22 · answer #5 · answered by richard c 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you chuck it in seek marriage councelling. It is hard to judge from such a brief description and without knowing the principals but it does strike me that there is a communication problem within the marriage ( nothing unusual about that ) and some professional help might help to overcome it.
2007-01-17 17:19:37 · answer #6 · answered by Tony B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could try councelling if that helps any. i have been living with my boyfriend for a year now and we make us work because we love each other very much, he supports most of the bills, i contribute alittle though, if you love him, you can work it out, i left my husband only because i was bored, i know sad excuse but thats the truth and he had loads on money, money does not buy love, i wish you all the best in any choice that you make, if you want to chat, email me ok??
2007-01-17 17:22:26 · answer #7 · answered by smurf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your "gut feeling" tell you to do?
This is a decision you need to make, not expect Yahoo Answers to make.
It is your life and it boils down to what you want to make of the rest of your life and the life of your child. Did you return because you did not find companionship while you were away? Does it scare you to be without a man that "loves" you?
Think about all the pro's and con's of it then make your decision based on what is in your heart.
2007-01-17 17:17:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If u leave for a particular reason and that same thing does exist now i would get the stepping.
2007-01-17 17:18:38 · answer #9 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
give it a try talk to him help him find a job do not leave a marriage just because he cannot give you everything you want. one of you will get hurt terribly, So don't just give up try to work it out force it onto him.
2007-01-17 17:19:42 · answer #10 · answered by Juan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋