Trying to find a song, do you know it? It's pretty funny.......?

Question

This 103yr old man used to sing it all the time in the convalescent hospital I volunteered at to shock the nurses. It was so funny, I remember parts of it and was looking for all the words
"Passengers should please refrain, from passing water while the train is at the station......I love you " then there was a part "you put it in the vestibule and there you'll pee you g*d-damned fool, Violets always make me think of you".

This guy was kinda out of it so I don't know if the wording is correct, but if anyone knows this song please clue me in!!!!! I still crack up everytime I remember it.

Answer 1

Apparantly it is an Austrialian Song.

Gentlemen Should Please Refrain

Passengers will please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the station for a while.
We encourage constipation
While the train is in the station.
Cross your legs and grit your teeth and smile.

Piddling while the train is moving
Is another way of proving
That control of hand and eye is sure.
We like to keep our toilets neat
So please don't s**t upon the seat
Or, what is worse, excrete upon the floor.

In the carriage there's a chain
And if you pull it, it stops the train
There's a twenty-five pound fine if you're unwise
So, ladies if you're being molested
Wait until you've been divested
It isn't worth five fivers other wise

Gentlemen will please refrain
From passing water while the train
Is standing at the station in full view
'Cos railway workers (Tramps and hoboes) underneath
May cop it in the eyes and teeth
And they don't like it: how the hell would you
(But that's what comes of being underdog.)

Gentlemen please be discreet
When using the toilet lift the seat
The rocking motion may make you miss the pan
And lady passengers following on
May get it on their sit-upon
'Cos they can't stand and wee-wee like a man

Answer 2

This might be it (or close to it).

-> http://www.welsh-nutter.co.uk/songs/gentlemenrefrain.html

Sung to the tune of "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park")

Gentlemen should please refrain
From flushing toilets while the train
Is standing in the station for a while.
We encourage contemplation
While the train is in the station,
Cross your legs and grit your teeth and smile.

If you wish to pass some water
You should sing out for a porter
Who will place a basin in the bog;
Tramps and hoboes undeneath
Get it in the eye and teeth,
But that's what comes from being underdog.

Drinking while the train is moving
Is another way of proving,
That control of eye and hand is sure;
We like our clients to be neat,
So please don't wet upon the seat,
Or, even worse, don't splash upon the floor.

If the Ladies' Room be taken,
do not feel the least forsaken,
Never show the sign of sad defeat,
Try the Gents across the hall,
and if some man has felt the call
He'll courteously relinquish you his seat.

If these efforts are in vain,
then simply break the window pane,
This novel method's used by very few,
We go strolling through the park,
a-goosing statues in the dark
If Peter Pan can take it, why can't you?

Answer 3

An old silly English song. These are the lyrics I know:

Passengers must please refrain
From flushing toilets
While the train is standing in the standing
I love you!

Workmen working underneath
Are apt to get it in the teeth
They don't like it
Nor would you!

one of those songs with no known writer...

Answer 4

OMG Too funny! I wish I knew and I hope someone on here does. I wanted to tell you though I am giving you a thumbs up on this question because I think it is great that you do volunteer work! Good for you!

Answer 5

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LOL so unrealistic that movie is!