How much sex is not enough sex?

Question

How little sex would you put up with? I saw the question how many times do married people have sex, and 2 answers said once and twice a month. To me, this is unacceptable. 26 times a year???? Yeah right!!! I'm going to fool around on my bf of 5 years because he NEVER wants sex, and when he does, the focus is all on him, like he's the one who's been waiting weeks to get laid, and only lasts maybe 2 minutes, plus it's so small I can get the entire thing in my mouth and not gag. Why the hell should I put up with this? I've told him how I feel. I've tried introducing new and sexy things. I've tried perfume, dressing sexy, tried seducing him, but he ALWAYS turns me down! I won't try anymore because it's ruining my self-esteem to constantly be rejected. He's invincible, like most men, and would never admit to erectile difficulties if you held a gun to his head. And do you think it's fair if I get it elsewhere? He's had a million chances, but would rather sleep, I'm tired of figuring him out.

I've got kids thanks, 3 of them, and the only reason we aren't married is because I see it as just an expense beyond belief if you want to leave, and I've got a vibrator and I'm BORED with it. Other than the sex,. I love him. What if I forced him to take viagra? Hide it in his ice cream or whatever. And anger? Get a grip. Wouldn't you be??? God! That's gotta be from someone whos getting some.

Answer 1

All I know is I am married, and I do not get it enough so now I find it other places. I have met other married women that feel the same way. I know I will get slammed for saying that.

Answer 2

Idont have a good answer,but i feel youre struggle.i havent had sex with my wife in about 9 months.i finally got tired of asking.it does beat you down and make you feel like crap.before the past 9 months i was lucky to get some twice a year.hell like once or twice a week will kill anyone.youre dude is an idiot,what i do know is that when you start feeling like youre husband,wife whateverisnt attracted to you anymore it hurts and eventually you will quite caring.alot of people like to say that sex doesnt matter but their full of it.and when you have already talked to this person about the situation and it doesnt get fixed it will be a problem for them.because someone will find you attractive you will notice and then it will be on.

Answer 3

A tricky question.
This sort of rejection can really hurt you deeply, damage your ability to trust and drive you nuts. You are a wonderfull GF to hang in there for 5 yrs.
There are a few books around dealing with lack of desire in long term relationships. In a long term partnership we can tend to drive each other into opposite corners. Counseling for both of you separately or togher might help.
Could be a case of sexual anorexia in which case you could try reading up about food anorexia and substitute the word "sex" for "food". After all they are both natural human desires with a great deal in common so maybe they can malfunction in the same way.
Possibly you could look at the relationship he had with his mum. Sometimes a mans first relationship with a woman sets a up disturbed pattern which persists into later relationships. Perhaps he felt like his mum was trying to seduce him or to take over his life (or both), leaving him with a deep urge to keep a sexual distance to maintain his personal identity.

i hope some of this is helpful.

Answer 4

I totally sympathize. I initiate and then I'm made to feel like I'm bothering her and that kills the mood almost immediately. She says things will be better when we get more space. We live in a small apartment with her mother and my son. What am I supposed to do until or if we get the bigger place? Go without?

Answer 5

I have the same life. In 2006 wife and I only had sex 5 times.

Answer 6

Get a new boyfriend, If he cant fulfill your needs or dose not want to and your not married then move on, there are many out there that like me would be happy to make sure you are very happy in that department. So you need get it in to him put out or out you go, sorry it has to be so blunt, but sounds like you need a complete relationship.

Answer 7

Before you take that step outside, WHat about a vibrator? Use it when he is in the house and let him walk in on you! That might get thru to him. After that if he is still in denial that he might have a disfunction, I guess you are going to have to do what you got to do, GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

If both people are satisfied with they amount of sex they are having,than that's fine.But as I've read,you are not.I would talk to him and tell him how you feel and if he still doesn't want it as much and you are still not satisfied,then i would definitely move on.Notice i said move on,cheating will only hurt both of you in the long run.Good luck!

Answer 9

I really like this question because i can relate to it,my girlfriend was just like him, first thing to figure out is what is important to you,lifes problems can stress people out so much that the feelings of our partners gets left out.explain your feelings to him and how much it means to you.If this doesnt change his mind ,and its that important to you than you must follow your heart and desires...please let me know if this info helps.

Answer 10

Wow, there is a lot of anger there. If you are only his girlfriend & you are this angry about it now, end it. It does not get better with marriage, it does not get better with kids. The difference there is you are so tired that less is more.