I have fallen out of love with my husband, what should I do?

Question

I have been married for 6 years, and together with with him for 4 years before that. We have 2 beautiful children, ages 5 and 3. The problem is that I have fallen out of love with my husband. He annoys me just being around me. When I look at him, there is nothing there. I feel no desire for him at all. When we do have sex, I give in just to shut him up. I dont know what to do. I love him, and always will for giving me my children, but I am not IN love with him. I think we need a separation, but I dont know how to break it to him. HELP!!!

Answer 1

10 years is a long time invested in a relationship to throw it away just becuase you "fell out of love" i'd try counseling. especially since there are small children involved. if it can't be salvaged it just cant and you should part your ways rather than being miserable but i would use that as an absolute last resort; if anything; you want to look back and with out a doubt know that you gave it your all!! good luck and i hope things work out for you!

Answer 2

every relationship has it's ebbs and flows. It's during the down times that you sometimes have to actually make an effort in the relationship. Eventually things will swing back and you'll see why you married him in the first place.

Perhaps you should re-examine your priorities and see why it is that you feel this way. Simply saying "I'm not IN love" doesn't cut it. Figure out why and then figure out what YOU can do to change how you feel. Only after you've taken the steps to change how you are approaching the relationship can you go to him and ask him to change.

Lastly, if you knew that he would get custody of the children then would you be going this route of wanting a separation or would you be trying to work things out. If it's the latter then you should work on keeping the marriage going. If you'd walk away from the kids...then walk.

Answer 3

You have your hands full with two children are you sure you are not suffering from exhaustion or post natal depression and that is why you are feeling this way? Check it out with your doctor. Don't forget the children are not your they are yours and your husbands. If the doctor says you are okay and you don't want to be with your husband you will have to tell him tactfully ashe may be devastated and it will turn the lives of all four of you upside down.

I ended up divorced after 19 years. I have suffered from depression for over twenty five years without realising it. I went through periods ofthe marriage where I was exhausted, had no energy and my wife irritated me but that was all signs of the depression.

I got help eventually but my ex wanted a divorce saying I didn't want her. That was not true I was just so tired all of the time whilst having a stressful job also that I had no energy to do anything at home.

Its worth thinking about it may be the answer it may not. I don't know because we are all different and it is just my suggestion.

Best wishes.

Answer 4

Oh boy, I know how you feel. But listen, you've gotta think of the kids here. If you still care about your husband, you should at least try to fall in love with him again. Its hard sometimes, I know. I think what you might really need is a romantic trip, just the 2 of you. Maybe go somewhere for the weekend. Try to rekindle that flame. Give it some time before you make a serious decision like leaving him. After that, maybe sit down and talk to him. Tell him what you need out of the relationship, what's missing. I wish you lots of luck, and I hope you find that love you had for him again.

Answer 5

My husband and I have been married for four and a half years and we have two kids. The same thing happened to me. I do care about him but, i feel i need to be happy. So here we are, separated now for 3 months. The kids are fine, he and i get along ok, and i am happy. You just have to come out and tell him how you feel. It will hurt him, but you just can't keep living that way. It will make you sick. But if you're afraid of being on your own and you think there's a chance of falling back in love with him,then I suggest counseling.

Answer 6

I was in the same situation. I was married for 11 years and had 2 children ages 7 and 9. I loved him and cared for him but not in he way a wife is supposed to love her husband so one night I just had enough and sat down and just talked to him and told him how I felt. He was hurt but now that we are seperated our relationship is much better, instead of fighting all of the time we can sit down and talk. It is much better for the kids as well. Good luck to you!

Answer 7

There are a number of things you can try before you make another life committment.
Communicate with him to start with. Seek counseling if need be.
Do things together. If that doesnt sound exciting, perhaps take a break from each other. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. Discover what it is that you find so annoying about him. Try to get to the root of your issues.

Answer 8

Seperationg is not the answer. Nowdays everyone wants the star strucked feeling of being in love. You say you love him well then that in combination with the commitment you made him should be enough for you to stay. Husbands annoy their wives. That is just how life is. Stay with him and work out your issues. I will tell you right now if you bail out everytime he annoys you then you will never find the right person. If you were with someone else they would eventulay annoy you too. It just happens:)

Answer 9

Be respectful to him. And consider your Children. Sit down, and talk it out. If you know there's no use? Ask for an Uncontested Divorce. If both of you can come out as Friends. It'll make it much easier on the Kids. Sorry to hear about it. Good Luck!

Answer 10

I think you need to do everything BEFORE you separate. That is just too damn convenient these days. Sit him down and TALK! Then sign up for marriage counseling -- if you want to save the marriage for the kids, start there -- you might just fall back in love. You will never know if you don't try.