What is what men most need from a woman in marriage?

Question

How can I keep my husband happy and comtempt with me?
I grew up wihtout a father, and have 0 idea of what I am supposed to do to nurture my realtionship with my husband.
I am complety ignorant about men, I have no brothers, and my huge family is 90% women.

Answer 1

Support...

Help him acheive what he can... I say "next to every man was an even more amazing woman!"

There is nothing more sexy than a woman who is proud of her man... help him...

on the other hand... don't nag him.. there is a difference...

Answer 2

I've been married happily for 17 years, we dated for 2 years before that. We are each others best friend. Unconditional non judgemental love, support, encouragement, a responsive lover, they need someone who takes an interest in them and what they are doing. They want to be appreciated, loyalty, etc. They want someone who enjoys the things they do. It's important to continue to go out and do fun things together even after your married. Keeping the magic around that was part of dating is important, very important. They want someone they can relax with, kick back and laugh with. Some of the same things women want.

But don't change who you are for them either, they want someone who is genuine. As I'm sure you do as well.

If your dating there is a great book, Boundaries in Dating
by Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. John Townsend. They also have another one on Boudaries in Marriage, it's a great book too. There is also a great site, www.healthyboundaries.com tons of relationship advice.

They do NOT want a wife who Mother's them or treats them like a child.

Oh, and I do not cook I think that is not the biggest reason marriages fail, you never hear sommeone say I cheated because she cooked bad LOL!

Answer 3

Always keep communicating, even if you are mad. Just wait til you or him are cooled down before you try and solve anything. Don't argue about money problems, discuss them with him, but also remember that money can't buy you love or happiness so try and not make a big deal about it. Keep the fun alive, what ever it is that you two do together for fun keep doing it and more. Don't let your relationship get dull, because when that happens temptation is waiting around the corner. Don't keep any secrets from him unless you feel that you must. If you see his eyes checking out another girl, comment to him by saying something like "yeah, she does look good in that doesn't she" it makes for a good topic in conversation later. Always be open minded.
And please please don't baby him. Don't do everything for him. He will continue to expect it from you, and their may be times when you just can't be their to do it. He is grown, too, and perfectly capable of running his own bath water, etc.
Always try and be understanding towards him when he gets frustrated or irritable.
Pay attention to the things he likes even if you don't care one bit about them.
Well, their are many other things to do, but I'm sure someone else has told you already.

Answer 4

Love. Of course, there are a lot of manifestations stemming from this! Respect, Trust, try to show an interest in what he likes or what he's talking about. You may not be very interested in a particular topic (let's say sports, for example), but remember that he's into it, so it is a part of who he is and therefore of interest to you. A lot depends on his personality. Some men like a woman to substitute for their mother, some are very independent. Ask him for feedback on your marriage. Communication is of paramount importance in a good marriage. Remember that it is a 2 way street. You deserve to be happy, too. It is in the little giving and taking, unspoken compromises, and understanding forgiveness that keeps you together. The fun stuff will naturally follow in a healthy relationship.

Answer 5

This is going to sound weird...but men need to feel almost like they are NOT married. The more freedom they feel within the relationship, and the less afraid they are to come home to face the demands of an angry and nagging wife, the better (and happier) husband they will be.

Women often make the mistake of trying to talk too much and make the relationship intimate when they see it taking a turn for the worse. It can make the man tune them out. It can make the man resent them and feel uncomfortable. Think of it this way: We are women -- and the way we resolve problems and keep things great between our women friends and ourselves is by talking a lot and communicating through problems. So we try this tactic out on our men because we think it's the only thing that will work. But men don't operate that way. The way that men feel close to their buddies is (usually) by sharing an activity with them, like video games or sports, or just chilling with them without talking. But if men tried this on us, it would confuse us and make us resentful. It's all about perspective...what works for women will not work for men.

My suggestions:
1) Be completely there if he wants to hang out, but keep a tiny bit of healthy distance. Let him do his own thing as much as he needs (I learned this the hard way).
2) Keep your house cleaned and cook as much as you can. Men really like to live in a comfortable environment. And I don't care what some women say, men really do like a domestic woman. It makes them feel manly. You don't have to be perfect or a star chef...you just need to make him feel taken care of in that regard.
3) DO NOT NAG. Whatever you think the problem is that you might nag about, it will end up okay. It's not worth a lot of anger or effort. (Unless he's being a real jerk and has repeatedly treated you awful.) He will tune you out if you bug him all the time.
4) Praise him for EVERY good thing he does, and try to ignore the mistakes he makes. He is only a man, after all. Men blossom under respect and praise, but grow deeply resentful over criticism. He will bend over backwards trying to earn more praise and will try to correct mistakes if he knows how much you respect him.
5) Laugh with him often and just hang out with him, sometimes without talking. He will enjoy the company, and the non-pressure.
6) Keep the sex alive. ;) (The oldest trick ever.)

Good luck!!!

Answer 6

Every man is different in that each has their own priority of needs. But, every man is the same in that if you figure out what those needs are, and deliver them with the emphasis on those that are most important to him, then you will have a great marriage.

Me, for example, I need:

- Sex
- A mother and caregiver for our children
- A clean house
- Laundry
- A friend
- Support in my choices

Right now, in my life, where I am as a man and father, that's my list and the most important are at the top (really the top two are a near tie).

If you really want it to work, ask your man what's important to him that you can provide.

Answer 7

Congrats on your marriage! I've been married to the love of my life for 14 years now and the best advice I can give is:

Love him unconditionally!!! Support him in all things!!! Be flexible & willing to compromise!!! Listen to him - even when you are too tired to care about what kind of day HE had when yours sucked as well. Make time for him alone, have fun together, but most of all --- communicate with him YOUR hopes, dreams and visions! Let him know when something is upsetting you - don't hold it in until you blow - he won't understand why you waited so long! Enjoy your marriage - there's nothing quite like it!

Blessings!

Answer 8

Be supportive, wake up every morning and ask yourself what you can do on that day to make him happy, buy him a card once in awhile and write it in. Men need to feel loved just like we do. Put him infront of you, however you treat him he will return it in the way he treats you, learn to let little things go, tough i know lol :) but as long as you can talk through things and laugh about them later, all will be okay. And for the last which i know people are going to roll their eyes about, never tell your man no to sex, just because you dont feel like it. Thats not a good enough reason lol.

Answer 9

Loyalty is good.

A woman who understands about guys' night.
A woman who can keep her PMS in control, because excuses are just too easy to make.
A woman who knows better than to be walked on, because even the nicest of us can get spoiled and lazy about our behavior without some boundaries.
A woman who can balance hersef, even if she doesn't get all the things done on her list. She knows she'll do it all, timely. And not yell at him for interfering.
A woman who is happy with herself, much of the time.
A woman who is going to fill her own vase with fresh water, so to speak, by taking her hour or day each week to catch up on her... (whatever she loves).
A woman who wears whichever hat needs wearing, but usually assumes the same familair roles, and asks of him the same stable tasks.
A woman who knows when he's about to go over the edge, and stops everything to spend a few minutes just stroking his hair.
That starts a good little list, eh?

Answer 10

Respect, trust, caring and loving him. Doing things for him that shows you know what he likes and enjoys, even if it's just pointing out pictures of his favorite kind of car. Don't get possessive, jealous and petty over things. If he works with other girls, don't always accuse him of having an affair. Show him you trust him by being mature about things. Try to get along with his mother. Don't be angry and manipulative about things that he wants to do that might not center on you.

Answer 11

All you have to do is to do what you did to attract him in the first place. Then, as icing on the cake, you can, from time to time, with charm no doubt, ask him what he likes in a woman. People change from moment to moment so keep up to speed with his desires. A relationship is the belt on your car engine. If it gets to poose it starts to squeek. If it gets to tight it will pop. It has to just right.