Today was probably the worst day in my life, the guy that im in love (he is straight) and he doesnt know that im in love with him (maybe he suspects) it was almost trying 3 months that i didnt see him but i was sending him some email (in christmas and new year) and never he replied, and also have him on my msn contacts, yesterday i left a message and today i saw that he deleted me from his contact list! now i cant see him at least there (on msn) i feel like i just want to die, i feel like shxx, im old guy (35) and i cant believe why im feeling like this, i love him.........and just want to dissapear now, what i can do, nobody knows that I am gay! i dont have nobody to talk with this, omg. really im crying now. Thanks
2007-01-17 08:43:08 · 18 answers · asked by adam b 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
its not the end of the road. you are not attracted to straight men. you are attracted to masculine men. there are plenty of masculine gays out there.
wipe up the tears and get back in the saddle.
lots and lots of them ;)
2007-01-17 08:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, get some support. There are gay sports teams, gay reading clubs, gay anything.. just join some if there's interest. Also, chat online with guys... find some nice people and just chat... NOT to become interested! In fact, find some that you're not interested in, but who are nice. People always like to talk about their problems and many like to listen and help.
Second, being down about this is natural, but TRY to take breaks and just do all the things you like to do in your life.. whatever brings you joy or distracts you. After a while, if you're like me, you will have to express yourself (as you've done here). Pick your words carefully, but perhaps you should write a letter to the straight guy. IF you think he's a sensitive, reasonable guy, put your feelings out there... he may reject you still, but you might at least get some answers. Or you never know, he might say he likes you too but thinks he couldn't act on it... but he may.
So stop wallowing, put your thoughts on paper, live your life as you used to, and make some new friends. You'll build up the courage to face this guy soon enough.
2007-01-17 09:13:59 · answer #2 · answered by tb75 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first off you're by no means old because I'm 40 & I consider myself young. Second, don't assume anything there might be a reason why you were deleted, it could've been accidental (I've done that) or it could've been by someone other than him. But there are so many people in this section that can help you because I'm sure they've all been through it. As for loving someone that doesn't love you back, believe me I've been there & it does get better. But talk to people that have come out already, I really hope they can help & love yourself because if you love yourself for who you will be like a magnet for all who love you too
2007-01-17 08:59:43 · answer #3 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to tell you but you must put him out of your mind! Be realistic. How big is the chance he will will feel the same way for you? I mean, it's obviously clear he doesn't like you back. And I don't think there will be a big chance that he will! Go find some one else. There are lots of great gay guys in this world! You deserve some one better than a rude guy who deletes you out if his contact list when he finds out you have a crush on him!
2007-01-17 08:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Harsh advice here so get ready.
Dude you are 35 freaking years old, grow up already. The straight guy didn't return your love - how shocking!!! Are you aware that there are PLENTY of gay fish in the sea? You need to get out of the house and DO SOMETHING! Go join a softball or bowling team, volunteer for political rallies, volunteer at a soup kitchen - -get out and met people.
Oh, he took me off his contact list!!! Big whoop. You never met, you don't live in the same city and again HE IS STRAIGHT!!!
Stop whining and go grab a slice of life!
Honestly I am sorry to be so rough but frankly at your age you should know this stuff already.
2007-01-17 09:25:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There there! Listen, don't get all worked up about this sort of thing. You are not old and you still have a chance to enjoy life. Get over that guy and find some new friends.Be honest with yourself about who you are (find out who you are if you don't know yet, it's not too late for that either) and the rest will come when you are ready. Believe me, I know how you feel!
2007-01-17 08:55:14 · answer #6 · answered by Rhapsody 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, BREATHE!! Deep breaths, calm yourself down and gain some perspective on this situation....
Ok, so you say you have not come out to anyone that you are homosexual. IMHO I don't think you are in any shape to be entering into a romantic relationship with anyone until you deal with your identity crisis.
It's easy to get hung up on people who are unavailable (e.g., the guy you say you're in love with but happens to be heterosexual). It's safe for us to have that person at arm's length as we have someone to project all our feelings/desires upon but don't have to be vulnerable and REAL.
There are many support groups (both online and in person) that can help you through the turmoil and heaviness you are experiencing from knowing you are gay and keeping it inside. I would highly suggest you seek support from others who have been through this same situation.
This is obviously a one-sided relationship and it appears it will always be that way. Put this "love interest" aside (I know it's easier said than done when it comes to feelings) and focus on getting yourself straight (pardon the pun) before trying to give yourself to others.
Hope this helps and hang in there!
P.S. You say you are old at 35?! Please, what will you think when you are 60?!? That you're a mummy walking amongst us. Come on....
2007-01-17 08:58:40 · answer #7 · answered by sirensong98 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hey, try not to cry; there are other guys out there. If he's straight he may have just taken you off his contact list to give you time to get over him. Liking a straight guy will never work out; I understand that you are in love with him but sometimes relationships just can't work out for technical reasons (he can't love men). Try to feel better about the situation and come out to one of your really close friends if you can. If you do, you'll have someone to comfort you through this. Trust me when I say coming out relieves a whole ton of stress.
2007-01-17 08:53:13 · answer #8 · answered by guitarherofairy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If the guy was straight, there was no way you could have a relationship with him. Think of his bad qualities and think of how many unattached gay guys you now can go out and meet. Go out to a gay club this weekend and try to meet someone who is attainable. If nobody knows that you are gay, you may want to consider changing that so you will have someone to talk to and be free to meet someone new.
2007-01-17 08:54:16 · answer #9 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I just wanna say that I'm really glad no gay bashers answered this question, and if they do, just remember that they're idiots and you're a beautiful gay butterfly and to good to associate with those losers....
Second I want to say how proud I am of everyone that answered this question!!!
Good job, guys...you're all the best!!!
2007-01-17 09:08:28 · answer #10 · answered by truth 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋