How young is too young to see birth?

Question

My daughter is 8. She will be 8 1/2 when I am due. She keeps asking me if she can be in the delivery room. She already knows where babies come from (I am not going to lie to her). She also knows that it hurts and that there is blood. Should I let her or is she still just too young? Would you let your daughter? Please help. I don't really know what to do!

She has seen birth on television so that wont be a shock.

American Beauty!!! How dare you???? I will NOT lie to my child. If she wants to know something I will tell her. An unfit mother??? I think not. When your child comes home and asks a bunch of strangers how to tell you she is pregnant and mine does NOT then we will see who is unfit. BTW... This baby will be my 4th. It was a simple question. Or perhaps telling her the stork comes will be better??? I think NOT!!!! Get real. I am NOT sick. I just want my daughter to know REAL life. That is all!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I think that that is something that only you and the father decide to do no matter what decision you make somebody will have something to say about it..I would not let my daughter in no way. But if your daughter knows about the birds and the bees and if she is mature enought to handle it then I say go for it. And congrats on the baby.

Answer 2

My daughter is 7 will be 8 when the baby gets here, and I would never let her in the delivery room while that is going on. Reason being is because she may get scared, even though she knows most of the things about birthing. I have told her almost all there is except how exactly to "make a baby". She isn't mentally ready to see this happen.She's been around for a few other births in the waiting room, and already knows about the blood on the baby. She always gets upset when she even thinks I might be hurt.
My best guess would be is to think of it as a child. Would you really want to have seen your mother giving birth at age eight? I know I wouldn't have. Know doubt it is a special thing for a family to have a new baby, but I wouldn't let her in.
What if at the last minute their are complications? (God forbid their were, but...)
Just use your best judgment, what was your first thought?

Their is nothing wrong with letting your child know about birthing, it is educational to a point. That other person who said they would try and take your kids are over reacting big time. Why let your child live in a fantasy world?

Answer 3

I know many parents who have had homebirth who have had all of their babies' older siblings present during the birth. It was not traumatic and it was a very special time of bonding for the entire family.

However, a hospital birth with its attendant equipment and procedures and the tendency of medical people to get into "barking orders" mode, even at the mother, is a much different creature than a homebirth. I'm far less concerned about the blood and the issue of seeing mommy in pain than I am with the idea of having mommy being poked and prodded with needles and implements and being ordered around. Reinforcing this notion that this is what birth is about isn't something I'd personally do to a child. If you were seeking another path for birthing my answer would be quite the opposite.

Answer 4

Well, we here at Yahoo Answers don't really know your daughter. We don't know how mature she is, how well she handles herself in certain situations and how well she copes with certain issues. We can only tell you what we think is right and let you be the judge.

In my opinion, she is to young. My husband was 25 years old when his first biological child was born. It was not something he was prepared for. He thought it was something he was going to be able to handle with grace. He was wrong. Although he stuck it out, he has yet to 'get over' the experience.

Also, when my (now 7 year old son) was born, I wanted to take my then 8 year old daughter in with me too. My daughter was very enthusiastic and certain that she could handle anything that happened. I went to my doctor for advice on the matter.

My doctor was against it. She did not support a child being in the delivery room for a lot of reasons, one being the fact that a child carries a lot of germs that a newborn should not be introduced to as soon as he/she is born. Another thing my doctor was concerned about was the fact that ANYTHING can go wrong. This can mean with YOU or with the baby. If something were to go wrong with you, your daughter would not be able to handle this and the nurses really could not focus on dealing with her when they are trying to focus on saving your life.

If you do decide to let your daughter come into the delivery room with you, have an adult standing by outside incase there is an emergency. That way she can be directed to someone who can tend to her, calm her and take care of her. Also, the adult can be there just in case your daughter is unable to handle any part of a NORMAL delivery.

Best wishes and God bless all of you.

Answer 5

This is a very personal decision. Some parents want to give their children the chance to witness the miracle of birth. Others are uncomfortable with the idea, and nervous as to how their child may react.

The experts are also divided. Some say children under age five are too young to attend; others disagree. To some there is no magical age. In fact, certain children may be comfortable with the idea at age seven, for example, and aghast at the thought at age 12, and interested again at age 15. Ultimately, the choice for a child to be present at a birth is highly individual. If you want to explore the possibility with your child, present the idea without exerting any pressure. And let your child know that he or she is allowed to change his or her mind at any time.

If you want to have the option of letting your child attend the birth, research which hospitals or birthing centers have progressive sibling policies. If the facility you've chosen is resistant to the idea, try talking to the administrators there and your healthcare provider to see if you can work out a plan that suits everyone. As a last resort, let them know that you're so committed to this idea that you're willing to take your business elsewhere if they can't accommodate you.

I also stress that a child of any age will need some preparation for this experience. No matter how wonderful it can be to watch a baby being born, it can also be very frightening for a child to see his mother in pain.

Discuss the mechanics of labor with your child. Read books and watch videos on childbirth together. Explain to your child that there will be blood, and that you'll be making unfamiliar, possibly alarming, sounds.

The best thing you could do is to assign one adult to care exclusively for your child during the birth. Choose someone with whom your child has a positive relationship and feels comfortable talking. That person can take him out of the room when he's uncomfortable, bring him meals, and watch how he's doing. This adult will need to pay close attention to your child's cues. If your child is uncomfortable and shows signs of wanting to leave, this support person must follow his or her lead.

Also, feel free to change your own mind about having your child at the birth. You may decide that you feel uncomfortable having him or her present, that it makes you feel self-conscious or unfocused and that is okay.

paaatches --I think with all that you have mentioned you are on the right path not only with the preparation of the birth but the arrival of a new sibling. Good job!

Answer 6

My neighbor disagrees with me, but I think it would be fine.

My oldest child was about 2 1/2 when he witnessed the birth of his twin sisters. He did not really understand, but he knew that there was a baby coming out of what he refers to as my "bottom". He has been to three other births as well.

My twin girls were barely one and a half when they saw it, but they just stayed with daddy the whole time. They have seen two births since.

My now three year old was about one and a half, too. He saw his baby sister be born and a month ago his newest baby brother.

My youngest girl just recently saw birth. It was on December 10th 2006. She knows at a young age where babies come from, her oldest brother made me blurt out the truth, very sad!!!

And finally my baby ryland, now one month old has not witnessed birth. And hopefully wont seeing that he is my sixth child. I am not sure if I will exeed that half dozen.

But, hell!! If my oldest is six and he has seen four births already, then I think eight is just fine!!!

Answer 7

Im not even sure the Hospital would let you have someone in of that age. I know how you feel tho becuase im 14 wks preggers with #4 and my oldest (8 yr old when baby is born) said the same thing. Her main reason was to be with me tho and 'help me" and Not really 'See' it. Her intentions were good. But thats not something i feel she needs to see. She verys emotional and i dont think her seeing me like that would be good. Im not one of those 'swearers and beat up my husband for doing this' But with all the comotion that goes on in a delivery room Drs, Nurses, equipment. I just dont think its the place for her. So just tell her that you'd love her to be with you but its really not the place for her at that time. Give her something else special like making the annoucements (my daughter loves to color and make things which is why we suggested it to her) so she feels atleast part of it just not in the delivery room. Good Luck!

Answer 8

I had my 3 yo at my 3rd birth and she did great. I did prepare her on what to expect and we did talk about it after to kind of debrief.
I think it really depends on weather or not you think she is ready. I think it can be a great bonding experience for you and her.
If you have prepared her well and she wants to be there, then why not?
Go over the details more specifically- like sounds and smells and equipment that would be involved. It can also help to have an older person there just for her to tell her that everything is normal and you are OK so you don't have to have your focus divided between birthing your baby and making sure your daughter is OK with everything. That person can also take her out for a walk if things get to "heavy" or if she gets scared about anything.

Hospitals usually have sibling prep classes, too, and that might be helpful for her to go to. You could also take her to your appts and see if she has any questions she wants to ask your care provider and maybe your he/she could talk to her about labor as well.

Answer 9

to be honest. im 29 yo woman with a son born by caesarean.

seeing birth videos is still something that till this day scare the s+*t of me.

i had an emergency caesarean, but affter seing a normal birth i dont think i am capable or even have the courage to do it.

8 yo might be too young to see these, even at 14 i think its a discouragement to unprotected sex if this is just what the one of the risk to come by...

only when someone is ready and know whats going on that birth is not something traumatic to see...

i say if she is going to be in the delivery room, make her sit next to you so she can see it where you see it...
so she will be educated, but with a subtle censorship...
full frontal i think is a bad idea...

if you get what i mean...

Answer 10

If she knows all about it already then i say go for it. she should be okay and besides that it may help her bond with the baby even more. I am 35 weeks pregnant with my second and really want to have my daughter in the delivery room with me but she is only 2...and she hates to see mommy in ANY pain. But age 8...Let her be in there...it will be a good experience for everyone I think. Good Luck and congrats on the new baby.