My husband was stationed in korea 2 years ago and the first 5 months he was great called all the time.After he went back he changed never could get ahold of him and always spent tons of money.I have a friend whos husband was over there with him and he told his wife that my husband was unfaithful with a GI woman soldier and a korean woman. I try to confront him and he walks away I said ok If you can not talk to me it is over he swears he did not but I know in my gut he did but have no physical proof. When someone brings up the word korea he will not look at me like he is hiding something.His Army buddies cover for him all the time like some sort of pac they take when they join the military. I tried to get him to go to a therapist or even take a lie detector test he is not open to anything. He tells me if it comes down to a lie detector test he is gone he said if I can not trust him then we are done. I even told him I want a divorce but nothing will get him to talk.What would someone do.
2007-01-17 08:29:09 · 26 answers · asked by Army wife 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Move on - whether by accepting that he did what he did, and you're ok with it, or by filing for divorce and looking for a man you can trust.
2007-01-17 08:32:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple, divorce him.
Once a cheater always a cheater and all the signs point to YES he cheated on more than one occasion and now he can not look you in the eye? That is just disrespectful.
It is a well know fact that many many service men/women who are stationed in far away lands for long periods of time will cheat.
I even know on one base that the women who are left behind on the base will Hook up with the husbands who are there and their wives are gone and with the male service men who are on the base.
Next time, do not go with a service person until they are retired.
2007-01-17 08:54:23 · answer #2 · answered by daisyloca22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he doesn't confront the truth; why don't you. Your gut feeling is your heart speaking in another language. So, what else does your heart tell you?
It is not fair for him to "act" as if he is not wrong but tries to construe your words to make it seem like it is you accusing him because you chastise him with simple questions.
His friends cover for him because they know the truth will hurt. Regardless, it is not their place to tell you what your husband should be. In fact, it is really none of their business. But, they know what you don't, so it may seem to you that they have formed a pact. Not so, look at it like: they are doing you a favor. It is like adding fuel to the fire. You already know he cheated without having proof. So now, I ask what are you going to do about it? Stay or Leave? Work it out or let it go? Believe him or don't?
Then when you make a decision be sure to let me know. I'll let you know if that is what I would've done.
2007-01-17 08:40:58 · answer #3 · answered by Ab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the answer right in your face. Why do you need proof? Just to hurt you more. Take from someone who has been thru that, always go with you gut feeling. You don't need a lie detector or a therapist to tell you that you spouse was unfaithful. Listen, get smart and do what you need to do for yourself! Don't torture yourself by waiting for that physical proof!
2007-01-17 08:35:30 · answer #4 · answered by nurias5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard from a gal in the military, that she would rather see her husband go to Iraq then Korea. To use her words, Korea is an adult playground. I also believe that Korean women are subservient. If you believe that he's been unfaithful, then you either accept it.....Or carry out your threat. You are the only one to decide how you will live with the situation. Best Wishes to you!
2007-01-17 08:56:30 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to hear an answet to that question?
If it turns out to be true.. then what? are you going to move out? divorce him?
If you just want to know the truth and stay anyway, then don't bother. He will not admit it no matter what you say or do.
You have to make a decision: put a blind eye on this and continue in housing and full medical coverage and live with the doubt for the rest of your life OR really dwell on it until he confesses and then what? divorce? counselling?
Soory about what you are going through. You may want to get counselling to help you cope.
Good luck
2007-01-17 08:43:50 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Normally I think it's too easy an answer when people here say, "Get counseling," but in your case I'll make an exception. This is a serious issue of trust, and communication has totally broken down between the two of you. You are on the brink of divorce. You need professional help!
2007-01-17 08:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u know in your heart he did it, u don't need any lie detector to tell u what u already know. if he isn't willing to admit or acknowledge what he did to u has hurt u, if he is going to continue to lie, than he is one of those men who won't be confronted won't admit to wrong, so if he did no wrong, he can never apologize and u will never be able to feel good and trust this relationship again. if it were me, and he failed to come clean, and show some remorse, i would know that he wasn't sorry, that he didn't respect me, or care if the marriage went on or not, as long as he doesn't have to suffer any inconvenience of having to be honest, and suffer a little pain and humiliation. if it were me i would not stay with him, he is not sorry, and u know he did it.
2007-01-17 12:47:49 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well all his buddies ARE ALWAYS going to take up for him... they know that in the military infidelity is illegal and he can go to jail. The way it sounds though is that he was unfaithful.. it is hard to be away from someone you love for that long, but that is no excuse for his actions. If you love him you will get past this but if it is interfering with your feelings towards him there is nothing else to do but move on and leave him.
2007-01-17 10:32:20 · answer #9 · answered by GIRL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You took heresay words from someone you hardly know over your husband. There are trust issue's here. I don't sympathize with you at all. You accused your husband of adultery. He may be totally innocent, and if he is you hurt him very badly. Shame on you.
Do you know that men in the military are worse than old ladies when it comes to starting rumors and innuendo's. It's a regular soap opera Drama in the military.
2007-01-17 08:44:45 · answer #10 · answered by ash84102 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His refusal to take a lie detector test and the threat he will leave if he has to is absolute concrete evidence if you ask me. And with a third world country involved, you might want to get tested for disease, in the meantime, he deserves to have everything stripped from him including his dignity, for both what he did, ands for the way he's punishing YOU for it, even tho it's clearly HIS fault. This is emotional ABUSE of the worst kind. Sorry he's such a jerk :(
2007-01-17 08:40:02 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋