I've been married for 3 1/2 years. My husband & I have been having problems since the 1st year of marriage. I read his emails one day & found him on adult friend finder. I asked him about it & he denied it. I finally got him to admit to it & he said he just wanted to look at naked photos, but I thought that's what porn was for since he watched it everyday? He told me that he wasn't sure if he wanted to be with me & that he wanted to have sex with other women. I was depressed & put up with his crap for 2 years. I tried my best to talk to him about things & he always blamed me. I left him & moved in with another man. He called me everyday telling me that he's changed & he'll never do it again. So, I give in once again & move back. I find out that he asked my friend if she wanted to have sex with him & he has another account on adult friend finder. he swears that he hasn't cheated, but when i talked to them about it, their stories didn't match. He tells me that he loves me. What to do?
2007-01-17 08:21:04 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It seems that it's not working for either of you. There is confusion, mayhem and mutiny in the ranks, As in, you are not and never have been, working as a team.
The most important thing here, in my opinion, is for you to take time out for yourself and focus inward, to see what you really want out of this man and out of your life in general.
It's utterly ridiculous notion that you should sit and worry day in and day out about his loyalty and commitment to you and your marriage. Is this a healthy environment in which to raise your future children? I believe he is not fully ready to take this marriage seriously, so before you get in any deeper, make sure to decide what is in your best interest here, and stick to your decision this time.
2007-01-17 08:31:10 · answer #1 · answered by artist-oranit.com. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's full of crap and you know it. You know good and well that there are more places to visit on the web to look at photos then going to Adult Friend Finder. He is lying and he has no respect for you or the marriage. You can either tell him that if he wants to try at the marriage, then you two go to counseling. If not, don't waste your time anymore and move on. You could also bust him by creating an account of Adult Friend Finder and send a note to him and go from there.
2007-01-17 16:33:22 · answer #2 · answered by Marie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's pretty obvious that he doesn't really love you. You've put up with him long enough and you don't need to be second in anyones life. You deserve much more than that. And looks like the only reason he wants you back is so he has someone to blame since he probably can't keep another relationship long enough. I think you should just pack your bags and walk and never look back. No matter what sob story he tells you.
2007-01-17 16:29:15 · answer #3 · answered by green_baby_dragon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what it's like to be divorced because I am not married but I do know what it feels like to be lied to. Lying doesn't make the story; the person telling the story is. After reading what you wrote about his supposed change I can't tell. He hasn't. He just wants you to be as miserable as he is. Misery loves company. Added that he disliked that you moved on and with another man that wasn't him. Don't be niave. The truth is right in front of your face.
2007-01-17 16:33:32 · answer #4 · answered by Ab 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my gosh i catched my husband on that ******* adult friend finder **** as well.i opened an account there to see if he was up to something of course he was.i acted like some other chick from his town if he wants to get together and have fun,of course he wanted to meet that night. when i confronted him he also did deny all that and said oh i was just fooling around.yep i too gave him a chance but no it was not going anywhere he still had his accounts in many of those websites,and still looking for chicks.well needless to say now we are divorced.
2007-01-17 16:33:10 · answer #5 · answered by xoxo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you for real?? Kick him to the curb dear, he isn't worth this and I believe you already know this in your heart!! He has an addiction and like the guy I had, didn't "really" want to do away with it, just lie and hide the fact! When he saw that you moved on, he started his promises he KNEW he wasn't going to keep! Just knowing he asked a "friend" of yours should had been enough for you! I don't believe that you deserve this so move on dear! He is not committed material! GO !!!!
2007-01-17 16:34:55 · answer #6 · answered by GardenGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let him keep taking advantage of you. He knows your weak points and knows what buttons to pull. It's staring you in the face. No one should put up with that, regardless if you have children or not. What good is a marriage for children if the marriage is not a happy one. A happy marriage is a happy family!
2007-01-17 16:44:05 · answer #7 · answered by nurias5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
for me the answer is easy, I would leave. I would however try counseling first, either with or with out him, so you can get a grip on this. If he is unwilling to go, then go alone. The final choice is up to you, are you willing to stay in a marriage with these qualities? Is the good worth the bad?
2007-01-17 16:31:36 · answer #8 · answered by NolaDawn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave why deal with a liar and a cheat. You need to take care of yourself and make yourself happy because the only person you can depend onis yourself.
2007-01-17 16:28:21 · answer #9 · answered by LaReyna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on! Its not worth the pain and depression, unless there are children involved, there is nothing to think about, just move on!
2007-01-17 16:25:31 · answer #10 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋