Answers preferably from Sikh and mature people please.....?

Question

You receive a call from a woman telling you she met your husband a few years back, your husband told her you were separated, they have been dating for the past few months, shes just calling to appologise and to assure you she'll never see your husband again.
1. how would you view the phone call?
2. would you forgive your husband?
3. how do you move on?
4. what would you feel about the other woman?
5. are you thankful or hateful for being informed?
6. tell me what you think of this question but please if you have nothing better to say then keep it to yourself.

I feel really bad because I'm the other woman. I never thought of getting involved in something like this and I'd hate to break up marriages. I have high moral standards and really feel badly for being ignorant.
I appologize for excluding other cultures, every cultures have different view, so to me its only applicable to get opinion from those whom to me counts. Sikh culture believes in arrange marriages others don't.

Answer 1

So you got involved with a married man. After reading your note, it seems like u're not the type to go crashing on someones marriage. And he lied to you by saying that he was separated from his wife when he actually was not. I don't believe i am saying this but its not your fault at all. R u still seeing him? If yes then stop it and if no, then gud for you. This kind of man shud be stoned in public. As for your questions :-
a) with caution.
b) if he was two timing me with another, hell no
c) can't answer on this. i may say something now and when it actually happens i'll do another thing altogether. So it depends on the situation.
d) anger and hate of course. maybe if the truth is told and like in your case, the hubby will never be spared
e) both

Answer 2

1. how would you view the phone call? As a phone call from a stranger, I would have to find out the truth for myself. I don't believe in "hearsay".

2. would you forgive your husband? For what? For my getting the phone call? Since I still haven't found out the truth there is nothing to "forgive" as yet is there?

3. how do you move on? From what? My life hasn't changed yet, I just got a phone call I don't make major life decisions based on what a stranger tells me in a phone conversation.

4. what would you feel about the other woman? Why should I feel anything, she is a stranger, I've never met her, don't know her all I know is that I got a phone call from a stranger claiming to be having an affair with my husband. That doesn't mean it happened.

5. are you thankful or hateful for being informed? Informed about what? All I have gotten is a phone call from a stranger claiming to be my husband's mistress, that doesn't make it true.

6. tell me what you think of this question but please if you have nothing better to say then keep it to yourself. I think this question is "foggy" at best because you are wanting answers based on a phone call from a stranger. The only person I would want any "answers" from is the person that I am married to. That phone call proves nothing and if YOU would base YOUR relationship on such a phone call then maybe YOU need to rethink YOUR motives...would YOU beleive a total stranger if they called you (about ANYTHING) Or would you seek the truth first?

Answer 3

I would question the motives of the phone call. 2 If I felt it was true I would not forgive my husband.Its a sex act not a fall down the steps. He allowed it to happen ,endangered your life with possible stds if he cheated.on you its really painful.IF I chose to forgive him I would first stage a period of withdrawal where I didnt see him to test him and see if he was truly sorry.He should be so sorry so repentant and miss you horribly while you think about what you want to do .He should be thinking about how he may never get you back not oh well she let me get by with it 3.If I moved on it would happen like it always does.I take a hard look at myself and my dreams not his then I go to the library .go to the track and try to be the best I can be for me.one day at a time till finally one day it feels ok then one day a while later it feels good because I have self respect and its ok to be alone sometimes.Get a dog they are cute and fun. 4 I would probly hate the other woman for dating my husband but be glad she let me know what he was doing.Theres a good chance he did tell her you were seperated however since when was it ok to date a guy who is seperated?All that means is a couple is having problems and taking a break.If its really over then they will get a divorce usaully..Why women want a seperated man I dont know but its like this. it aint over till its over.5 thankful but really hurt.6 I would like to know why you asked for a Sikh? However since I consider myself mature I answered it.best wishes .Im sorry he hurt you.

Answer 4

Why did she take these few years to tell you? Dal mein kuch kala hai. Don't react on just a phone call you receive. If you have a doubt, directly speak to your husband and explain about the phone call. There are many deceitful and cruel people in this world just trying to break up families, cause nuisance, and they ought never to be taken at face value or I'd say phone value. Don't prejudge. But if you prefer to believe there is some truth in what the woman said, confront your husband; immediately; politely.

Answer 5

I can understand why you want mature answers, but asking for Sikh responses seems unnecessarily prejudicial and very oddly specific. I'm sure you could get good feedback from people from a variety of cultures, religions, and races. Try to be more open-minded!

Answer 6

well there is several ways you can look at it either he did do this and you can forgive him thank the lady for telling you no use in being mad at her if he told her he was separated from you and let things go.
or if he did tell her you were seperated why would she call to apologise in the first place not like she knows your two are togeather remeber so why would she apologise for it.
three she can be mad at him for not being with her and trying to start things between you two so you really dont know what happend or who to believe but if it does happen again i would leave him

Answer 7

hi,

i belong to a sikh family where this case happened with my mom but not tht way it was more like my dad having ex tra marital affairs nd they r still going on well i know wht i havegone thru during my childhood and no i wouldnt forgive my husband for ditching me..how to moove one well i would saythere is no use to remain in a relationship where trust is alredy gone and its difficult to trust again i guess i would talk openlywith him abt it nd if he accepts everythign i would go on for a divorce iknow it would hurt nd be difficult but staying witha man who keep on ditching u would be even more hurting..wouldnt feelanything abt the other woman not her fault she wasnt aware tht u guys were still together nd wul dbe thankfull from her as she informed...

Answer 8

The very fact you want this question to be answered by Sikh & mature person I am telling you certain facts about some Punjabi Indians. As far as Sikh religion is concerned it is one of the best religions of the world I myself married to a Sikh lady & got my daughter to a Sikh boy. In Punjab almost all people follow or respect this religion equally. Now for your problem what I can make out some Punjabi /Sikh man has been making fool of you just for the purpose of getting Immigration for you country. This drama is going on for many years now that even married men from India try to befool foreigner lades specially from U.K., Canada, U.S.A., New Zealand, Australia for getting immigration to these counties on the basis of their marriage to citizen of these counties & in order to do so they misrepresent to the innocent ladies of these countries about their Marital Status as it must have happened with you. These guys are unable to get immigration to any of these countries as their qualifications are not up to the recognized norms of these countries so they play this game. If such is a case they best course is to ignore any such person. It’s always good to check the status of any person who makes such a move for even friendship. No need to have any prejudice towards any particular religion as I told you it’s the person concerned who cheats not that his religion guide him to do so. As far as in Sikh religion, people marry in both arranged as well as love marriage form.

Answer 9

I think first of all, I would discuss this with my husband before I made any opinions of this woman and what she said

Answer 10

??? is there a child involved between the woman and your husband because that surley wouild make a difference on how someone would feel and act