can`t be myself..?

Question

from some years now i can`t be myself or act verry natural..maybe becouse i`m easy influentable(maybe)..i don`t know why..some advice tips how to be more natural(boy) and stuff please ..and another thing why is being yourself and natural important?i mean make a bit of answer contrasting the "to be or not to be" thing..i`m 16..sorry for my grammar :-s

you are kinda on the subject..but i need straight advices good ones,i ain`t an extreme case or something,i see the path but i`m sort or idealist,perfectionist call it as you want..by the way don`t give me "God" advice no offence but i have my own perceptions about it.and that`s not going to help

Answer 1

being yourself isn't something you work at; it's something that just comes naturally. You just have to learn to be comfortable with your perception of yourself, and learn to realize that not everything comes from everyone else. Looking at it philosophically, no one can prove that you exist but you.
Why is it important? Well, it's your life. You can decide how important it is to you, I suppose. Personally, I'd rather be myself, aware and miserable than an automaton that never knew what it was to really love, to really lose, to really be a friend to someone truly and completely. If you aren't you, if you haven't control of your own thoughts, you'll never know what it is to be alive.

Answer 2

You are only 16, but perhaps you are old enough to hear the truth. It is not a natural thing to be yourself, because you are the construct of your society, your parents, your teachers, your friends. Your personality has been moulded around society's norms as you have experienced them.

You are having to be careful about what you say, how you act in front of people, you are being asked to be polite when every part of you doesn't want to. It feels like being locked inside a cage.

The sad thing, most of society is in exactly the same boat. And yet I hear people say that being yourself comes naturally. It is hard work deconstructing that conditioning. What is you and what is that which you are being trained to be as dictated by society.

Be as honest as you can with yourself and find the courage to let the real you stand above all things. If you squirm inside listen to it and find out why. If it doesn't feel right question it.

Answer 3

Being yourself is fine. It shows that you're comfortable with who you are. you tend to have more fun when you act yourself. Being easily influenced can be a problem, but try to see more than one side of the story, that way you can keep yourself from being completely influenced. Try relaxing a bit, don't worry about what other people think about you, you'll never be able to please 100% of people 100% of the time. Sometimes you have to start thinking about how things will work out best for YOU, and try to think about what YOU really feel, not what other people want you to feel.

If you can't be yourself, then who can you be?

I don't know how helpful this is, if at all, but still, just try being yourself, you may find that you like it.

Answer 4

You poor thing! I'm 17, and I know how you feel. For a while I tried to copy everything this one person did. I really looked up to her, and I started to talk like her, dress like her, laugh like her, even make the same facial expressions she did! After a few months, I realized that I wasn't myself any longer- I was a mini-me of my role model, and I hated it. So, one night I sat in my room and made a list of all the things I liked from my childhood, things I liked to eat, my favorite color, TV show, characters from movies and books, and I looked at photos of me and my friends from when we were little. I thought about things that had happened and how I had reacted to them when I was myself. Then, I slowly started "coming back." First, I dressed the way I like to dress. Then, I actually (and this was pretty dumb) avoided laughing unless something really amused me, because when I laughed, and I mean REALLY laughed, my old laugh came out. I listened to it and thought about how it sounded. I tried to laugh the same way more and more. I prayed that I could really just be me, and no matter how much I loved someone, that I would never try to be them again.
And it worked.
So, in answer to your question of "why is it important to be yourself," I'd have to say that one of the reasons is that if you try to be someone else, you'll end up hating them. Because you know you'll never truly be exactly like them, you'll get frustrated and twisted up inside, and you'll lose your own special qualities. Also, if you try to be someone else, you are taking the individual that God created, with all his own special talents and interests, and you're hiding them behind other people's interests and personalities. If you're not yourself, how can YOU fulfill YOUR purpose in life? Being "natural" is, well, natural. If you try to be something you're not, you'll feel frustrated all the time as you fall short of the mark every day. Take it from me.

I really hope this helps, and I'll pray that you can find yourself, k?

Answer 5

It's perfectly normal to have a slight identity crisis at your age. The fact that you are concerned about your identity shows that you probably already have more individuality than many others around you. Don't be ashamed of emulating others: humans are social beings, who learn by imitation and decision. Just think before you follow, and when the time comes for you to lead, you will be ready. "Be your own person" is a vague and confusing maxim. Better to seek an equilibrium between yourself and your environment. Without details that's about all I can give you.

Answer 6

Well, I've been there. Let me tell you what. People and society will tell you to be yourself. Then, they don't understand your own uniqueness, and they talk about you and even make fun of you for it. The world is insane; it gives directly opposite directions.
So, you need to figure out what you real morals and values are, first.
Reason them out, and stick to them.
Then, you gotta figure out how important the surface nonsense is. Hair, clothes, music style, etc. Try to find what you reall ylike for yourself, express yourself, but don't go too crazy until you resolve this.
And like someone above me said, this isnormal for age.
You might just say, "To hack with all these people. I'm gonna shave only one half of my head and wear shirts that have shorts and a t-shirt on one side and a ull parka and ski gear on the other."
OK my humor isn't working without my stage presence, but you get it.
You'll get there.

Answer 7

Well you do not look to have low esteem. I believe one challenge is that either one of you have got the identical social safeguard quantity. When you dossier with a reputation: Married, submitting collectively, so that they can be purple flagged by way of the feds for certain. And a pre-nup is also wanted provided that one among you has already had a small fortune or whatever earlier than the wedding; in any other case by way of regulation what you have got earned or got even as you are married is 50-50 anyhow. Other social disorders would possibly come up corresponding to peers calling either one of you by way of the identical title, and so forth. And what if one among you get jealous of the opposite? Maybe you 2 will have to simply reside in combination for awhile and notice the way it works out. Good Luck

Answer 8

this is a very important question for all of us. much of what the prior answers suggest is "right on". all i can add is that there exist certain "time honored traditions/practices" that will aid you to be more "authentic", by putting you in touch with the deeper levels of your being. by having that connection you will be more "empowered". by enjoying this status your fear level will be far lower than it probably would be otherwise. this will give you the courage to be "yourself". thus, meditation,and energy work: yoga, chi kung, reiki, etc. will go a long way along these lines. leading a life based on individuation/authenticity is a very major accomplishment for a human, and provides many deserved rewards. do some reading in the area of tibetan buddhism and esoteric taoism. but, most of all do the practices. see http://www.sahajayoga.com http://www.bhagavandharma.org http://www.worldofsouls.com and read *the complete idiot's guide to toltec wisdom* for some good advice and practices. best of luck, you're definitely moving in the right direction ;-)

Answer 9

Your grammar is actually pretty good. I would like to cite to you one Harry Neumann, with whom I agree in this regard:

"When students complain of “identity crises,” I tell them not to worry, since neither they nor anyone else has an identity about which to have a crisis! For science, [that is to say,] genuine knowledge of reality, reveals a world of nothing but empty experiences, impressions as Hume called them."
[from his essay "Politics or Nothing!"]

Perhaps you can be more natural if you don't try to be a "person", and if you realise that all those people who seem to have real "personalities" really cover their fundamental emptiness with masks (the word *persona* means "mask" in Latin). Then, of course, there are those who have real character; but these are probably quite unconcerned with their identity.

Answer 10

You're still going through a lot of change (we all are for that matter) and there is still some brain development left for you, so take comfort knowing your perspectives will change, and probably change drastically.

If you want to understand yourself better, I would recommend starting to meditate as it helps you analyze yourself and gain better concentration skills. Check out some net resources on meditation if you are interested.