Somebody give me some encouraging words?

Question

My girlfriend and I broke up. We had been dating for 4 years. I know I made her wait too long. A girl can't wait forever. But they don't just give those rings away for free you know. I wanted to marry her I really did (do).

I can barely function. All I want to do is sleep so can't feel the pain. Unfortunately she haunts my dreams also. I have been through breakups before. I know what I need to do, stay busy, lean on friends and family, stay positive. In fact I was the guy my friends came to when they needed to hear what to do in this scenario.

I did all the wrong things. I wrote her a letter, I sent her flowers. I know that it makes me look weak and that is only going to push her away further. How in the heck am I ever going to make her see that I see the error in my ways? I love her still.

I just can't get it together. My whole world crumbled when that sweet baby girl walked out.

help

Answer 1

Give her a little bit of space. Over-crowding her right now is just going to piss her off. After four years, she is probably hurting because of the break-up as well. Give it a couple weeks, and then tell her the words you just told us...they sound very meaningful. Tell her face to face though. Not in a letter or a card, but to her, so you can interact and get a feel for her feelings as well. Best of Luck

Answer 2

I'm sorry you're feeling the way you are. But I really don't believe that $$ is a good enough reason not to ask someone to marry you or to let them know that they are the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. You can buy beautiful gem stone and diamond rings for less than $300. And I'm sure you could have saved that much over the years. Besides, a girl who really loves you doesn't really care about the ring too much. It's just something to show your friends, anyway. If you really loved her, I think you would have shown her that, and proposed from the heart, not the pocket book.

If you really love her and think it was just the lack of a proposal that broke you up, then pull your head out of your *** and propose. If you can't do that, and it's what she needs, then let her go, so she can find someone else before it's too late.

Answer 3

They may not give the rings away, but they don't make you buy the most expensive ones. In the past three years you could have found a way to get one if you really wanted to, and if she loved you it wouldn't matter what it looked like. Think about your real reasons for hesitating, and the reasons she would not be taking you back now after getting flowers and a letter. Are you just wanting her back because you are lonely? Did you tell her specifically the unique things about her that you loved? Did she have a reason for waiting this long as well? Maybe the fact that your whole world has crubled is part of it. You need to have things in your life that sustain you when relationships are in trouble. Maybe your "sweet baby girl" is a grown-up woman who respects someone who takes responsibility for his actions.

Answer 4

Wow, ouch. My advice would have been to propose without the ring... or did you? Does she know that marriage was your intention? Trust me, if she did, then it seems she was more focused on the ring than anything.

As a girl having been in a similar situation, I advise this: tell her that you love her, always have loved her, and always will love her. Tell her what your intentions were. Tell her that you're sorry, that you miss her, and that you don't think she's at fault. And then tell her that you respect her desicion, but should she find you worthy of forgiveness, you'll always be there. Your door is always open to her. But you'll hold your silence until she seeks you out.

At that point, you've done all you can. It was the treatment I got... it worked. In the meantime, you've got to do your best to live your life. She won't want to come back to an emotional wreck. Start slowly, just do little things to start getting back to normal. Go to school or work, whatever it is you're doing, talk with your friends about normal things. Find somebody, not even in a romantic way yet, to just keep you company and help you get through this. In my experience there's going to be one person that you rely on the most. Keep them close to you. Just remember that you've done all you can, it's not your fault. And there's still plenty of people who care about you, which means there's countless things to love about you. If she can no longer see that value... then she's blind. The key is to take things just one day at a time.

I hope that helps. Hang in there, friend.

Answer 5

You're confused; allow mama to explain why:

1) You weren't really in love with her. Trust me on that. If you were, you would have married her. The cost of the ring is caca.

2) You don't miss her because you love her so much, you miss her because she's not around. There's a difference. I think if you thought about it you'd agree.

3) It doesn't make you appear "weak" to send flowers and ask your lover to come back. Everybody in the free world does that, so, don't think otherwise.

When the right girl comes along, you'll know it, and you won't let her get away. There's a difference between being with "the one" and being with "someone great." Now that Ms Great is gone, the right one is on her way. Live and learn.

Cheer up - don't be too hard on yourself.

: )

Answer 6

Tell her exactly where you think you went wrong and what you wish you would have done. Then tell her exactly what you'll do next if she takes you back. It might be worth a try. If she loves you, she'll listen and give you a second chance. If she doesn't really love you, then nothing you say will make a difference. And in that case, the relationship wouldn't have made you happy in the long run. Just remember, there are plenty of good girls out there just hoping a good guy like you will look their way.

Answer 7

4 years--that's rough...before you try to get her back make sure that everything in the relationship was what you thought it was. did you really want to marry her, and did she know that? are you sure that's the only reason you broke up?
if yes, then you just need to let her realize that it wasn't the commitment, but the financial side of things (if that's true). you need to demonstrate that you can be responsible and committed. give her some space, and see how things go...wait a month or so. if your feelings haven't changed any, approach her and explain what you think happened. she'll probably be ready to listen if you meet on equal terms.
good luck! I wish you all the best.

Answer 8

I'm sorry to hear that you are so upset. Why are you broken up with her? Only because she doesn't want to wait to get married anymore? There must be something else going on. I would advise against constantly gettin in touch with her right now. GIve her, and yourself, some space and time to clear your thoughts. If after a week or two, you feel the same way about her, then give her a call. Who knows, she may call you first! Good luck!

Answer 9

Is the cost of a ring the only reason you haven't asked her to marry you?

You can find affordable rings at department stores like Mervyns, JCPenney, Costco, even Walmart. You can also try Ebay or antique stores.

I'm sure all she needs to hear is that you love her with all of your heart and want to spend your life as her husband. The ring is just a symbol, and she should love anything that you give her because it came from your heart.

If you want to be with her, respect her and your relationship and pop the question.

Good luck to both of you. :) I hope this helps.

Answer 10

You guys think that a big expensive ring is required to propose. It is not. Sometimes just knowing that you love us enough to ask the question makes all the difference in the world. You need a grand gesture. Ask the question. Just be sure that's really why she left you.