I have 2 children(from another relationship) My husband has one(from previous) And we have a child together. His Daughter is here every weekend, And I do love her to peices, But it seems like my husband treats her different from my 2 girls. Like when his Daughter gets in trouble he never yells and always make up reasons why she is being bad. But when my girls are bad, They get sent to their room and stuff like that. He says it is because she is never here, But in my eyes it should not matter. If she is bad, she should get the same reaction as my girls.He would never hurt our kids, But I I do not understand why they get treated different. It is always hard to combine 2 Families, But this is been going on for almost 4 years..Any ideas, comments or anything would be a help.
2007-01-17 06:02:01 · 8 answers · asked by rowebaby 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I hate to say it. But your husband is wrong. If his daughter does something just as your two kids do. She also needs to get set to the room . So what if she hardly there. He is sending her(his daughter) the wrong message. He does this because of his own guilt. That's why he always making up reasons when she is being bad. He's doing her more harm then good. He also does it for not being a full time dad to her.And for you to stand by this for 4yrs. your also in the wrong. What does your own children say to you? You really need to put your foot in his a s s. You tell him next week-end if she (his daughter) gets in trouble I don't want to hear any excusing from you and she is going to get set to her room just like the other kids. In walk out of the room. Also you might want to tell him how that be Little's you in front of her (his daughter) and your own kids.Your husband has allow his daughter to rule over you in your own home.Think about it. She (his daughter) knows she can do wrong, get in trouble, in don't have to be in trouble. He allowed her to walk all over you in a sense he has. Come on how fair is that to you and the other 3 children. This kid comes over on week-ends in do wrong when she/he feels like it. Your husband needs to be more of her dad then a friend who don't want to make her feel bad.He has given her the power. Don't let this go on other yr. or week-end. You need to stand up to your husband as a women first. There a good book out called stupid things parents do to mess up their kids and ten stupid things couples do to mess up their relationships by Dr. Laura C. Schlessinger check it out. It might help you.
2007-01-17 09:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this same problem when my hubby and i got married he has a daughter and i have a daughter they both come on the same weekends,well my daughter seemed to be getting in trouble alot and his just stood by and watched and nothing was said boy did i put a stop to that before it even got started.I let him know real quick that is a dealbreaker for me and won't be tolerated now he doesn't even think about doing that.I would tell your husband it doesn't matter if she is never there she needs to be disciplined when she is because if you or him doesn't just because she isn't there alot she will be a total brat.then you will start to resent her and there is where the blended family problems start believe me i know.I am to the point where if my husband doesn't say anything to his kid i am all up in then and i will say something because this is my house not hers i clean and cook and take care of everyone and nobody is getting special treatment period.well now i am going off so i will leave it at that...don't let him give her special treatment no kid is better than the other no matter what the situation is
2007-01-17 06:24:31 · answer #2 · answered by samwise25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a difficult situation
I had the same problem my wife has 2 kids from previous marriage and I have 2 from previous marriage mine lived with my EX and hers lived with us.
It was impossible for me to discipline my kids when I only got to see them every other week and their mistakes seemed small to me when they we there for only 2 days. But the other kids were there every day so it seemed easier to discipline them.
My wife was the same way she would go off for the littlest things at my kids and she was so for giving with hers.
It took a long time and several talks for us to figure this out and treat all the kids the same.
All of the kids have grown up and are living on their own now, but we know some damage was done to the relationships we have with them. My daughter is the oldest of mine and she and my wife barely speak her oldest son and I are sociable to each other but not close.
this is where the damage is obvious my son is closer to my wife then to his own mother, and her daughter is closer to me then her real dad.
So I would advise talking to your husband and start treating all the kids the same.
Good luck
2007-01-17 08:16:15 · answer #3 · answered by wyldman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he truly misses his daughter. I am in the same situation. My wife feels the same way as you about how I treat my daughter on the weekends. When he dose not have her he can not control the discipline that his daughter gets. I just love spending time with my little girl and I would guess that he feels the same way. How did the relationship with him and her mother end?? Maybe he knows that it was very painful on his little girl and still feels guilty about it.
2007-01-17 06:25:01 · answer #4 · answered by Michael L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you convinced HE would say you treat his child the same as yours? I am curious.....
I have a feeling you will never change how he feels - this cannot really be controlled. But behaviour can be.
I don't know your circumstances too well. These things are hard. Family counselling maybe? Good luck.
2007-01-17 06:15:08 · answer #5 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's a huge difference between section-time daddy and complete-time daddy. He can't manage them a similar for the most section. If he shall we your son spoil out with some thing, then there is no man or woman to reveal your son the astounding way or save him in line. His daughters have their mom to attempt this. also, deep down you recognize you experience a deeper attachment on your son than his daughters, be honest.
2016-11-24 23:33:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
FOUR YEARS?? Good luck with that.
You've sucked it up that long, he doesn't think it really matters to you.
Stand there with a baseball bat and tell him to make sure he treats all the kids equally. Look him dead in the eye. He should get the message.
2007-01-17 06:06:32 · answer #7 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid the odds are against you, but try watching Brady Bunch reruns.
2007-01-17 06:06:19 · answer #8 · answered by wowwee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋