My husband works w/ alot of woman that I have not met or care to . I don't want them thinking I am so insecure when I am. I just hate that he has to deal with woman all day.
2007-01-17 05:59:42 · 15 answers · asked by kimjoey 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Listen to yourself:
"My husband works w/ alot of women that I have not met or care to." So, you don't know these women or have seen them, haven't had any interaction with them. They haven't given you any reason to feel the way you do.
"I don't want them thinking I am so insecure when I am." Not only have you not met them, but you admit to being insecure and are concerned about what they think. So the opinions of women you don't know, don't care to or have never met mean something to you.
"I just hate that he has to deal with women all day." YOU hate that he has to be around women all day.
I'm going to try and be as kind about this as possible. If this is how you really feel, then you'd better prepare for your husband to cheat on you. I say that because your insecurity is going to drive him to behavior that he wouldn't ordinarily engage in. The thinking would be, "Well, she doesn't trust me and already thinks I'm fooling around, so I may as well." I'm not saying that it's right, but there's nothing in your post that indicates that he's been anything other than faithful. Sorry, but your insecurity is the issue.
You should find a therapist to help you with this as soon as possible. No one can give you the security you need, that's entirely up to you. Your husband is going to be surrounded by women for the rest of his life; if you plan on staying married to him or living any kind of happy life, then you need to deal with your insecurity. As long as you don't trust him or his abililty to be a good husband to you, then you will always be looking for something to go wrong and he will tire of it.
Find a therapist and take responsibility for dealing with your insecurity. No one can do that but you.
2007-01-17 06:34:10 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, when a man is going to cheat, he's going to cheat regardless of how many or how few women he works around all day. If your husband has never given you a reason to be jealous or doubtful of his faithfulness, then you don't have anything to worry about.
There's also nothing wrong with you showing up at his job to take him to lunch one of these days. It doesn't show that you're insecure, but it does let women know you exist.
I wouldn't be insecure though. Be secure and confident that your man is married to you and that he loves you and he comes home to you every night. Don't give into insecurities because they will pour into other areas in your life and paralyze you.
2007-01-17 14:08:00 · answer #2 · answered by jazz_lover_25 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You just have to. Unless you have a reason to believe your husband will have an affair with a coworker (or anyone else) it is YOUR problem, not his. Maybe you need to see a counsellor.
Your sentence "My husband works w/ alot of woman that I have not met or care to" says a lot to me. You hate these women just because they are women. What did they do? You are assigning blame to a large group of people you haven't met for crimes that you have no reason to believe have been committed. Can you not see that this problem is yours?
Is this projection (i.e. you cheated on him so you assume all women cheat)?
2007-01-17 14:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need to work on your self-esteem and trust in your relationship. If he has not given you any reason to be insecure or jealous, you should not be. You will drive him away if you continue with such jealous behavior. You might feel better if you meet his co-workers. Host a dinner at your house or go to an event that allows spouses.
2007-01-17 16:03:36 · answer #4 · answered by Chic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why are you insecure.. He married you.. not the women he works with. Trust your husband until he gives you a reason not to.
2007-01-17 14:08:51 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband has never given you a reason to doubt him then you have to have faith in him. He did marry YOU after all. He married you because he loves you..and no other.
On the other hand, if he has given you a reason to question his loyalty, then I can understand where you are coming from. But if that is the case and you are still married, then you would have chosen to forgive him and by doing so, you must also restore your faith in him.
2007-01-17 14:06:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are in a happy, fulfilling marriage and he has not given you any other reason not to trust him, I wouldn't worry about it.
When I say happy and fulfilling, I'm speaking in terms of whether or not "he" finds the marriage happy and fulfilling. You'll know by simply asking him and allowing him to give you a truthful, honest answer without fear of repercussion.
Good question!
2007-01-17 14:13:41 · answer #7 · answered by Leroy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should have no reason to outright not trust your own husband. unless he has cheated before or works for playboy, there is no reason to be logically worried about him. i am one of two females in an all-male environment (i work as a receptionist for a carpet company) and my husband is not worried about me. has he given reason to make you worry or is it your own insecurity? i would work out your own insecurity and paranoia issues within yourself, otherwise it could drive him away.
good luck, hon!
2007-01-17 14:05:17 · answer #8 · answered by lola 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
honey, you should be able to trust your husband. Did he ever give you reason not to trust him? Maybe the problen lies in you. You need to be more secure within yourself and not worry about him
2007-01-17 14:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i understand that can be mind boggling but you have to have faith and trust in your marriage and your husband, especially if he is a good one. after all what will be will be there is nothing you can do to prevent it. a man will do what they want to do. and if this does happen just remember that it isn't your fault. just have faith sweetie, if you believe, god will see you through
2007-01-17 14:20:43 · answer #10 · answered by kindkayeye/im a chick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋