It was someone close in my family and I really didn't want to do it at all. I kept saying no and to stop. I fought him off for 45 minutes. I was drunk and had no self-esteem so I gave in. I didn't want to. I cried through the whole thing. He stopped and said to stop crying. But since I eventually consented is it still rape?
2007-01-17 05:31:36 · 37 answers · asked by mercurialred 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Yes it is rape. You need to get help asap. Try the following link for help and support.
http://www.rapecrisis.org.uk/
2007-01-17 05:35:52 · answer #1 · answered by richard_beckham2001 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am sad to hear that you had to go through this.
Yes, it is rape, because you were in a drunken state of being and was not able to think rationally. There is a website that talks about date rape and it clearly indicates that if (any) person takes advantage of a person who is unable to make clear decisions (because of alcohol and/or drugs), that that person is liable for rape.
The website says:
"If a person has had too much to drink or is on drugs they can not consent to sex and having sex with them is legally rape."
It also says:
"NO MEANS NO! If a person says no to sex (no matter how quietly or unconvincingly) and you go ahead with it anyway, that is rape."
Even though you say that you "eventually consented," I believe that you never actually did. You mention that you "cried through the whole thing" and that you "fought him off for 45 minutes;" that you "kept saying no and to stop." Darling, I don't think that you ever crossed that line and consented with your heart. You may feel like you did because he didn't stop, but it clearly sounds as if your heart was (and is) broken by the experience and as if you didn't want it to happen.
It must have made the situation worse because the person who raped you was "someone close in (your) family." It makes me angry for you, because they took one of the most precious gifts that you have to offer and abused it. There is are some numbers that you can call for some free counseling. I highly suggest calling one of the numbers and getting some help to release any anger or hurt, embarassment or fear, or sadness that you have about the situation. You really need a healing to happen in your heart and one of the ways that people start the healing process is to talk about it (especially to someone who is a professional and knows more in-depth about these kinds of situations).
There are two different numbers you can call:
1(800) A-FAMILY (This is a Christian-based counseling center)
or you can call:
1(800)656-HOPE (This is a national sexual assault hotline).
Both numbers are free and confidential.
I have also listed some online article searches that may be beneficial to you.
I am praying for you, that God would bring you restoration and healing and that He would help to heal the scars that the person in your family who raped you, left on your life. Blessings on you precious one.
2007-01-17 05:58:18 · answer #2 · answered by LaPrincesse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes is is rape, and the man who did this to you needs to be punished before he can do it again to any one else.I dont know the laws on how long you can wait before you file a report but it is worth looking into.Since you are asking the question it still bothers you and you do think about it so you will also need some help to get throught this.Good luck
2007-01-17 05:46:51 · answer #3 · answered by wblueyesinvt35 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YES, its rape. When you said no and told him to stop and fought him off and he did not stop that would be considered rape. It doesn't matter if you are drunk or not. when the word no comes out of your mouth and that person forces you to its rape. You need to do something about it don't sit on it.
2007-01-17 05:35:30 · answer #4 · answered by Waythere 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
From what you explained, yes it sounds like you were rapped.
Perhaps you should consider talking with someone that you trust to vent your feelings.
I don't know you but I feel compelled to tell you that I'm sorry to hear what happened - my sister experienced it many years ago as an adolescent and didn't make mention of it until she was an adult - turned out that she needed counseling/therapy and it actually helped her.
By no means am I comparing you to my sister, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone with the situation and there are others that will understand you and can help.
Good luck to you!
2007-01-17 05:40:19 · answer #5 · answered by Ruby 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That definitely counts as rape, or so called 'date' rape at a minimum.
You need to talk to the police and go to a hospital for a 'rape' kit.
At no point did you 'consent' you gave in to emotional abuse. It is not uncommon for a girl or woman to be raped in this fashion, and you should not be ashamed of what happened.
Stand up for yourself contact the authorities and go to a hospital asap.
I'm sorry for what has happened to you.
Peace,
-dh
2007-01-17 05:37:33 · answer #6 · answered by delicateharmony 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It is rape but before bringing it to the police bring it to someone you are close to in your family... There are a lot of factors to consider, what age were you at the time of the rape? is there any evidence? is he in a position where he could be doing the same thing to other girls?
2007-01-17 05:37:27 · answer #7 · answered by lilmisshelpful 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is never rape if you consented.Please see a therapist to deal with this problem.I think you have learned a valuable lesson in life which is always be in control of your enviorment & never drink to the extent that you cant control any situation that arises. The liquor was the controlling factor here.You are not alone it has happened to many women, but rape NO.
2007-01-17 05:42:51 · answer #8 · answered by merillo5 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
yes, it is. Sounded like a "date rape"/ incest. Call a rape crisis center for someone anonymous to talk to. You need to spill yer guts. Talking those things out has helped me work thru several issues of things like that that have happened with my family.
If you can't find a #, call the local hospital to see if they have a # for a national rape crisis center. They may be able to refer you to someone in the area near you.
2007-01-17 05:37:14 · answer #9 · answered by juicy13500 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it's rape. Anytime you say no, and the person does not back off, it's rape. Acquaintance rape is the most common type (as opposed to a stranger rape) - your case is exactly that.
2007-01-17 05:35:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋