2007-01-17 05:29:27 · 59 answers · asked by SARAH 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Love, respect, and communication. All are key.
simple, but true
2007-01-17 05:31:46 · answer #1 · answered by artisticallyderanged 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Respect, admiration passion and trust --the four biggies.... A recent study of 30,000 successful marriages of 30 years duration noted that kindness is in there too... for every negative comment that was made, 6 positive ones had to cover it. The closer these two numbers got, the less successful the marriage. Sometime "shutting the hell up" is the best advise. Don't have children until your marriage has 3+ years as is solid, and ready for trauma...realize you will spend the next 20 years and $250,000 per kid.......
Betrayal is the, THE deal-buster in a marriage. Learn to negotiate your differences without rage.... read the book "The Assertive Option". Getting your issues out there when they occur without trouncing on someone's ego is important.... communication is important. Marriage is a system of giving, rather than getting --- it is time away together, shared hobbies, and yet, hobbies one does by one's self. It is space, as well as togetherness, and as your mom probably taught you "If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all...."
2007-01-17 06:00:20 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first and most important way to be on your way to a happy and long marriage is marrying the right person. I realize this sounds obvious however, I have seen many marriages fail simply because the two were not right for each other. Marriage is not something to rush into! Take the time to really get to know the person. Talk about what you both want to do in life, and make sure your goals mesh. For example, if you want children and they don't, it won't work. Make sure you know what is important to you and that they share whatever it is or will be supportive of whatever it is. This is where honesty is very important! Realize marriage is work and be willing to work for it. Know that it will not always be easy.
2007-01-17 05:48:22 · answer #3 · answered by Lachelle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find someone who puts themselves after you.And make sure you do the same.Always live as if you live by yourself. Be surprised when your mate does something for you. Laundry ,dishes or making the bed.And flirt all the time with your mate. And learn to laugh. Nothing is sexier , when the person you love likes your humor. But most of all. Commitment. From the day you say I do....mean it. No matter what happens (Unless the person turns bad) you stick it out through thick and thin.And beware of the phrase....I don't know you any more, you have changed. Everyone changes. You will too. The idea is to grow together. Make that happen. Just don't stand there and watch a disaster unfold. Love is a verb.
2007-01-17 05:40:51 · answer #4 · answered by oldwolves 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Communication...And find time to spend together doing fun things. My husband and I have two nights a week that we spend at least 4 hours together, doing nothing but talking and listening. We have been married for 17 years and everyone around us says we have the best marriage. There are always mountains to climb in a marriage, but the foundation is what makes you able to climb those mountains.
2007-01-17 05:42:49 · answer #5 · answered by ransdoll90 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to be best freinds and be able to laugh at each other and yourselves.
Stand strong together! Separate you can be torn down but together nothing can touch you!! That counts with anything but especially the kids. Remember the marriage came first and will be around after the kids, so make sure you keep your priorities straight when the kids come around.
God 1st Family 2nd Career 3rd
2007-01-17 06:12:39 · answer #6 · answered by Catherine L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like i just told another person. Effective communication. Listen to each other, talk to each other instead of at each other. Make sure that when ever there is a problem that you both feel free enough to talk about it and do not hold it in. Do not let any old little problem discourage you from making it work. Still go on dates together go out do not just get into that daily routine and for get about why you fell in love in the first place.
2007-01-17 05:36:30 · answer #7 · answered by Danielle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't marry or live together until the woman is over age 24, which is when she reaches full maturity. The best would be between a woman 24 and a man age 30, which is when they reach full maturity. The success of a marriage, when the woman is over age 24, increases by 70%. Apparently her maturity is the turning point. Of interest, a woman, married or not married, have the same health and emotional problems, and the same life spans, whereas married men live 20 years longer than single men, have better physical and emotional health. Half the emotional makeup of a man comes from the woman.
2007-01-17 05:55:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I've been married for 9 years. My advice is to always remember that the two of you are two different people and won't always agree on everything. Also, men do not think the way that women do at all. You may get really upset with him over something you think he should be doing and he has no clue what the heck you are thinking. Communication is key. Listen and learn together.
2007-01-17 05:35:14 · answer #9 · answered by Ikkin 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Never, Ever Ever Lie. Once your spouse looses trust, it is very hard to earn it back. You NEVER want to break your spouses trust. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.
***EDIT-
One more thing I thought of-
Your spouse IS THE most important person in your life. His needs come first. Your parents, siblings and friends well, they are just perks to a happy life, NEVER let them get in the way of your happy marriage. Never do anything to please your family or friends, that will upset your spouse. If your spouse feels that you are devoting more energy to them than you are to him, then maybe you should listen. I am not saying that you cut yourself off from them entirely. But now it is about you and Him, it is no longer about them.
2007-01-17 05:50:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good marriages start with sharing the experience of being husband and wife. Doing things together and sharing everything lead to a commonality of viewpoint and draw you closer. Those who go their own ways and develop their own interests are less likely to succeed long term.
Honesty and fidelity are part of the trust equation and keeping that mutual trust is part of the solid foundation. A good sharing sex life and willingness to please the partner helps build that honesty and trust and helps avoid game playing which is petty and adolescent.
Older couples who are happy have shared the life experience and found ways to live their life for their partner.
2007-01-17 05:35:22 · answer #11 · answered by united9198 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋