How jealousy is related to trust issues?

Question

But what if i am just very jealous person? What if i trust him but once in a while I may ask him about stuff like "who is she?" and "why you calling her 'hey sweety'? Do i necessary have trust issues or i am just jealous? How are these things related or they are working on its on in different directions independantly?

Answer 1

Hey. How are you doing.
Let me tell you something. Jealousy is within any human being and that's fact we can't deny. BUT, its manifestation is what makes the difference.
It's OK that you ask to your boyfriend about things that might intrigue you. ONE ADVICE, do not ask him with suspicious... but with curiosity. Just the same way you would ask a female friend about someone else. Do not "question" your boyfriend as if you were on court.
I have been there before. I lost the person i consider the love of my life because of my uncontrollable jealousy, childish jealousy, unfounded jealousy and so on... i made of my relationship a living hell of questions and figths Unfortunatly i realized this after we broke up and i found myself alone. I had never been like that before but i was so in love, SO IN LOVE with this woman that i just thought that Jealousy was the "path" to protect such a beautiful relationship and feelings. I found myself pushing away my fiance with my untrusting ways and unsecurities. I realized all this after 3 months by myself, re-reading every chat conversation we had, emails, everything, that i was acting like if she was my enemy rather than my wife-to-be, acting like a child who needed attention every second to make myself feel the center of her universe. My downfall was that i didn't see that I WAS the center of her world (we wanted get married and have a family) but my jealousy kept me busy trying to find everyday prove that she was going to cheat on me (or that she was attually doing it). I became a very unhappy individual and my negativity affected her too. To trust someone can't be something we are affraid of, it must be a relief, a blessing, to feel that you can walk and walk forward on in your life and whenever you want to look back, he is going to be there, so you can lay back whenever you feel tired. To trust is not to feel affraid of giving your back to that person and being stabbed, but to feel that your boy is taking care of you. Believe me, when a relationship is strong, you don't need that "non-healthy" jealousy. Trust him and his intentions. If he fails, then it's his downfall. You are affraid of losing him... make him feel that by losing you he lost more than a girlfriend. Do you think by being jealous and keep him under questions all day is going to be "healthy" or will prevent your boyfriend to cheat on you? When your boy is going to cheat on you, no matter how much jealous you are or not, he is going to do it anyway.
Listen. If there is LOVE in the relatioship, Trust him. Love him. Your happiness is in his hands, his happiness is in your hands. If you decide to make of his life a living hell, you can. But... does he want to live in that life? I am sure he doesn't.
Love him, Trust him, learn how to deal with your jealousy ('cause where there is love, there is jealousy), feel happy that you feel jealous 'cause it means that you love him and make use of that POWERFUL force of jealousy in a romantic and healthy way.
This is an advice so you can save your relationship now that i couldn't save mine ;)

Answer 2

if you have been done wrong in the past and lied to its hard to beleive that anyone could be honest....i am jealous but i am more jealous of family members than other women i have trust issues of who is more important me or them kind of thing.I hate being that way but it is programmed in my brain and hard to stop...but if you are jealous of other women maybe its because you were hurt by a man at one time or you are insecure all kinds of reasons why you feel that way only you know why....