How to tell a long time friend you do not respect their choices?

Question

Okay...I do not know if I should come right out and tell my friend of 10 years that I do not respect her.
But honestly it's hard for me to be around her anymore, because she is lazy and like to stir chaos.

I guess my biggest issue it that she is getting Social Security disabliity check, even though she hardly worked a day in her life. She got it because she is "Depressed" and well she sued to get the check because at first she was denined..
Yet she goes out with men the time she meets online all of the time, and she goes clubbing.
She is in my opinion taking money from people who really need it, because she does not want to work.

How can I hang hang around someone who I know longer respect?

Answer 1

Funny, I know someone like this. They are still in their 20's and collect SS disability because they have "depression" but as you say they are living it up sitting at home.
It's hard to respect someone who is ripping off the government and stealing money from real handicapped people.

I know she is your friend for years, but people grow up and grow apart.

We tend to have the most in common as when we are young, but as we get older and start to find ourselves, our values change.

You should not feel bad that you are at a different place in your life, or that you chose to work and make something of yourself and your friend is laying around the house collecting a check.

I'd just slowly but surely move away from talking to her.

Answer 2

You shouldn't have around her. She sounds like a negative influence and a drain on you. You guys have been friends for a while and sometimes that history is the only thing that keeps people friends. If you have nothing in common and she's a person you would associate with if you had just met her a week ago, why waste your time? People break up with boyfriends all the time, but keep friends because "friends are friends forever." If this were a romantic relationship you would get out of it because she's not someone you wish to spend time with anymore. Respect yourself to not hang out with someone who you don't respect and say enough is enough.

Answer 3

I wouldn't hang around her anymore. I don't mean cut her out of your life forever, and when she wonders why you aren't coming around anymore be honest with her. I have family like that and blood or no blood I work for my money and if they're able to work they should too. There are people out there who can't work and can't get disability. My grandmother who was legally blind and could barely hear had to try for years to get disability. She couldn't even walk she was in a wheelchair. I do not feel bad for anyone abusing the system. I'm sure you have better friends.
Sorry!

Answer 4

Noone wouold respect someon like her but you know what?she has been your friend for 10years.That is a lot of time to have been with someone.I think you should tell her the way you ferel about her and her deeds.If you say she is oyur friend then i guess you should help her by telling her if not i think you are not a good friend to her as well.Tell her as it is maybe in a calm and undersatnding manner.Try talking to her nicely about it, a way which wouldn;'t cause any misunderstanding between you two. Thanks

Answer 5

So you don't hang out with them anymore because you will only become more resentful, call her on the phone and ask how she is doing, no more hanging out. If she happens to wake up one day and ask you why, you can then tell her, but telling her right now is not going to click for her because, she is riding on cloud nine because she feels like she has gotten over on the govenment, not thinking that these are our tax dollars that is support her habits.

Answer 6

the truth is it is always hard to see someone living 'the free life' while we have to toil, put up with superiors, etc. and still not have the luxuries like they do. Is there a way u can anonymously report this abuse of public funds. This is money better alloted elsewhere.

Additionally, just come out in the open and tell her how u feel. you don't want her friendship anyway, so who cares if she is offended. you are the one with your pride and dignity still intact so just tell her.

Answer 7

If she is going out with men that she meets online all the time, then she cannot be too depressed. Maybe she goes out with them because she is depressed. It depends on what her depression is caused by. Depression IS a real disease. Alot of people suffer from it and do get disability because of it. I would just tell her how you feel and be honest about it, or if you want to avoid being around her, just tell her you are busy. Sooner or later you are going to have to tell her how you feel though.

Answer 8

Just tell her. If you two have been friends for 10 years, you should at least be able to tell her how you feel. I had the same problem a few months ago. She asked me what I thought and I said Do you really want to know? She said yes, so I let her have it. She was really upset with what i said but, hey if your my friends and you are doing something dumb, I'm going to tell you. You should do the same.

Answer 9

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

respect must be earned

maybe send her to me, I am looking for somebody lazy who likes to stir chaos. I'm sort of bored lately.

I think she musta done at least 40 quarters to get the check, and she must be or at least have been really really crazy.

Tell her to be safe. If the people who need that money give it to her, they must have some reason like maybe she works for them.

Answer 10

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