Ok I really don’t know how to go about this so I guess a little back story would help. I am about to marry the love of my live she has a child about a year old. The child is wonderful and I am looking forward to being the dad that she has never had. But now that I have stepped in to the picture the biological father wants to have visitation rights un supervised. I think he is jealous but I don’t know for sure. The point I am getting at it he has never changed a diaper a day in his life nor has he ever so much has spent a whole day with just him and thief child. I am not comfortable letting him take her because he has know idea on how to handle a baby. I don’t want to just not let him see her at all that wouldn’t be right but I really don’t feel comfortable just letting him take her. And before you ask yes I have talked this over with my future wife she feels the same way I do but at the moment we really don’t know what to do. I knew him a long time he is not reasponsible
2007-01-17 04:31:55 · 12 answers · asked by Justin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he has given up parental rights also he is not being a jerk about it at all. i do want him to see her i mean it is plain to see he loves her i dont want to keep them apart my real problem is his ability to take care of her. if he knew something about babies it wouldnt bother me. he lives out of state and when he is in our state visiting hie family we get together so he can see her but now he is wanting to keep her for an extended amount of time we are not comfortable with that. i am not saying he would do anything to hurt her but he dosent know how to handel a small child. we really want to handle this between us and leave the courts out of it if at all possible
2007-01-17 05:00:59 · update #1
he has no family out of state to help him take care of her. we (my wife and myself) have been thinking to ease his mind to let him take her when she gets older pretty much out of diapers and knows more about what is going on. if he lived closer to his family we would be willing to let her stay with him and his sister or somehting someone who has knowledge of small children. PS thanks for all the advise so far
2007-01-17 05:07:29 · update #2
I would go to the court and file papers so that you can speak to a judge and make sure the judge knows that he has never spent any time with the baby and your concerns about knowing how to care for her. And ask that he take some kind of class before taking her or that he have supervised visitations until he shows that he can do this. I personally souldn't want her to go so i know how you feel but so its leagal i would have a judge order in this case.
2007-01-17 04:39:49 · answer #1 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two could take him to court and try to get supervised visits. It doesn't matter if he states that he wants them or not..It will be up to the courts.. Most courts I would hope would make sure that the baby knows who the father is before sending her to him by herself..
All in all I would say you two need to talk to a lawyer.. Have they ever had custody papers drawn up? Does he pay child support? If there is already papers drawn up I am not to sure there is any thing you two can do at this point in time. "Short from taking him back to court.."
Also I would have to point out that there isn't to many parents that would think some one else can handle there kid the way they can. So what your feeling is only natural. (blood or not)
2007-01-17 04:44:50 · answer #2 · answered by mrs.mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they were never married, then he is going to have some problems getting visitation, also, maybe you can pass the word on to him, with visitation come responsibility...meaning child support and back pay if he hasn't paid the first year the baby was born, alot of guys (and estranged moms too) don't like the thought of paying child support and this my deter him from taking the visitation too seriously, anyway, make him go to court and file for visitation, he may back off, good luck.
God Bless,
Kenna
2007-01-17 04:41:27 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The one thing you have to remember is unless the bio father gives away all parental rights he can and should see his child. This is something that has to be solved between the parents, not you. Just sit back and support your soon to be wife. Because it will only confuse the baby later on in life.
2007-01-17 04:39:58 · answer #4 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was the unsupervised visits ordered by the court? If not - he shouldn't be taking the child. If it was a court decision, you need to take it back to court. I wouldn't trust some dude with my baby; if he was a good father, he would have been there from the beginning.
2007-01-17 04:48:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is supposed to have supervised visits then that he means he cannot be trusted alone with the child. It has nothing to do with him being jealous of you but how he treats the baby. If you don't feel that the child is safe with him then don't let the mom grant unsupervised visits.
2007-01-17 04:37:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
legally u cant do much, but u do need to report any troublesome behavior on his part, mabey call dept of children services just for advise, u dont have to give ur name or his{he really hasnt done anything wrong?}sooo...talk to them and give any detailed info that ur aware of......it may be that hes not a threat, just irresponsible.....i know thats just as scary! I know ur concerend , but give him a chance, if he only wants to see his child out of jelousy over u, the game will get old... and he will dissappear just as before...it wont take but a few visits....ive been in ur shoes....good luck.. and u seem like a wonderful dad your little girl to be is a verry lucky little lady to have u in her life
2007-01-17 05:09:22 · answer #7 · answered by pretty_amazing_2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know the answer, but I have to give you props and kudos for being a compassionate person and loving your stepchild so much. Maybe you all can consider teaching him for a few minutes instead of remaining quite about it. You could also step up and ask him if he has a Mom or Aunt or sister who's going to be helping him, ask Man to Man. Peace.
2007-01-17 04:48:19 · answer #8 · answered by Sleek 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you could offer some help the first few times he visits. Try to be nice to him, and develop a relationship with him and you may feel better about letting her go with him.
2007-01-17 04:51:58 · answer #9 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you can prove that the child is in danger or threat of danger you got no chance of forcing supervised visits.
He gave up parental rights? then you can decide when and if he can see her. a Forferiture of parental rights also forfiets visitation.
2007-01-17 04:58:52 · answer #10 · answered by rcbricker33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋