My wife is leaving me because i have a history of looking at porn and i have lied to her about it. What can i do to make my wrong a right. Is looking at porn a reason for divorce?
2007-01-17 03:57:24 · 18 answers · asked by Felton E 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Is stopping so hard that you'd rather get divorced?
2007-01-17 04:01:30 · answer #1 · answered by Candy C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How long is your history of looking at porn? Has this made problems for you through out your life? Is the porn more important then your family? If you think it is OK then why do you feel the need to lie about it?
I can say that if I found my husband doing this I would be really hurt. I wouldn't want him looking at porn any more then I would want him at a strip club.. There is no need to look at another women all undressed and doing the thing that they do.. (I know that every one looks at people and may find them to look very attractive. But not every one looks at people naked.) Would you have a problem if she took naked pics of her self and put them on line or handed them out.... Most people would say NO.. Why would that be? She is your wife you should only get to see her that way.. You should only be looking at HER that way not others....
You could go and talk to some one a counselor that deals with the area of sex addictions. Talk to your wife and see if she may give you some time to get help (if you cant just stop).
Some people may think that its not a good reason to leave there mate. But it doesn't matter what others think.. Only matters what your wife thinks and she is obviously having problems with it..
I wish the best to your family..
2007-01-17 12:19:46 · answer #2 · answered by mrs.mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
looking at it is not the problem, LYING about it was the problem. I don't know your wife, but being open with it and letting her in to possibly enjoy it with you would have been better than lying about it.
If she hates it, then you could have asked her to respect your fantasy world. She feels threatened, that you don't love her or like the way she looks. Why else would you look at other women?? She needs to understand that you focus on her for sexual excitement and the porn is just a fettish. You need to make that point VERY clear. Women need constant reassurance about how you feel, how they look, what you think of them, etc. blah blah blah. Women are tons of work. You can't hide porn and then expect her to be cool with it.
You need to be honest with yourself...how often are you doing this, how much focus do you put on it, what are your habits when you are doing it?? If you habits are a little weird, you need to curb it a bit.
i don't think porn is a reason for divorce as long as you are telling the whole story. If it's an obsession of yours, then I can see her point.
2007-01-17 12:05:47 · answer #3 · answered by nick031297 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you can't stop and lie about it in the face of a divorce shows that your wife has made the right choice. The result of your ADDICTION TO PORN is that you probably neglect her and the kids. She's had it. I would suggest getting into a sexual addiction treatment program if you want any chance of saving your marriage.
2007-01-17 12:25:46 · answer #4 · answered by morahastits 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is right or wrong, but thinking make is so, Apparently your wife feels that a husband should not be looking at porn. Talk to her and try to come up a solution or try marriage counseling
2007-01-17 12:06:14 · answer #5 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me, the looking at porn thing would not be a reason for divorce.
Its the fact that YOU LIED ABOUT IT that would have me steamed.
Stop lying about the porn fixation. Start looking at your wife and playing with her instead of just yourself. Do something special just the two of you (babysitter for kids) for either a night or a weekend.
2007-01-17 12:46:07 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are many addictions in life. Porn is one of them. It is easy to start and hard to stop once started.
Is looking at porn a reason for divorce? My own thought...Maybe. For many women viewing porn is a form of infidelity (dishonest).
Would you stay with your spouse if you knew they were dishonest with you by lieing and viewing porn?
I would have a problem with it.
Pornography is an addiction, this industry literally plays games with our brains.
If you or whoever views porn. Please stop for your marriages and families.
Too many families are broken up due to pornography and infidelity.
How to stop the use or porn? Seek receiving counseling, (professional and non-professional) including talking with your pastor. They can and will help.
Good luck!
2007-01-17 12:16:12 · answer #7 · answered by willywonka1999 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It could be since this is obviously affecting your marriage. To a woman this could feel essentially the same as cheating. I went thru it with my husband and it made me feel inadequate as a wife. It causes feelings of mistrust and resentment. Porn is an addiction but is not often treated that way. As embarrassing as it may be you should seek outside help to break the addiction. This should also prove to your wife that you are willing to do anything for her.
2007-01-17 12:09:26 · answer #8 · answered by iluvpinkpdles 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is an addiction. If you are willing to save your marriage, let her know that you have a problem. Show you are serious by going to counseling. She will give you another chance if you are sincere about changing, and be open about it. I am sure your family is more important than the porn, so why not find a way to make it right?
2007-01-17 12:09:00 · answer #9 · answered by kimberly 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, it is a good reason for divorce. However, you may be able to save your marriage if you undergo counseling to stop lying and looking at porn. Talk with her about it.
2007-01-17 12:04:10 · answer #10 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is, since she has made it clear to you that it upsets her, and you keep doing it and lying about it, then yes, she should leave you. Obviously you are a pig, and looking at porn is more important than your wife and kids.
2007-01-17 12:44:46 · answer #11 · answered by Kari R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋