I am taking my mom and younger brother out to dinner tonight. I dont live with them and try to take them to dinner once and a while so I can see them and catch up. Now everytime we go to dinner my brother always brings a friend or two. They never have money so me or my mother has to pay for them. I dont like my mom paying when I am taking her out, plus she doesn't really have that much money and it makes me feel bad. My brother knows we have dinner plans tonight and refuses to make his friend leave. I told him to get his friend to call his mother and ask her for money. He said if his friend can not get money that he won't go. I am very upset with him because it's supposed to be family time. What should I do?
2007-01-17 03:48:33 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are SO right on this one! Your brother needs to grow up and turn loose of his buddy for the evening. He is taking advantage of you and your mom. If this is supposed to be family time, leave the friends at home.
2007-01-17 03:53:26 · answer #1 · answered by Bev 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all try making the dinners a certain night every time. Like every Wednesday or every other Wednesday or how ever often you want. Then make sure that your brother knows that this is for you, him and your mom only. He can have his friends over later after you get back or the next night. Your mom really needs to talk to him and let him know that he is being selfish. If the only problem is the money then let your brother know that his friends are welcome but either he is going to have to pay for them or they are going to have to pay for themselves. If he won't tell his friends then your mom should. If she won't then it's up to you. If he is still insisting on not going then start to make the plans for you and you mom only and leave him at home with his friend. I would think that if your force him to go with you that it only going to be miserable for you and your mom. I really think your mom needs to have that talk with him though.
2007-01-17 04:00:21 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Stacy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop inviting your brother. It sounds like your brother is old enough now that family time just isn't the same as when he was younger.
Have dinner with just Mom until he gets the idea or decides to invite you to dinner instead.
2007-01-17 03:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just take your mom out. Think of all the intimate wonderful conversation you and your mom can share without your brother there anyway. It would be a chance to really get closer with your mom. Don't feel bad about not taking your brother, if he really wanted to spend special time with you he wouldn't ask a friend to go along anyway.
2007-01-17 03:54:07 · answer #4 · answered by gypsy3100 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother is a selfish thoughtless inconsiderate spoiled brat.
Tell his friends , at the dinner table, that you do not have the
money to pay for them...
Tell the waiter , in front of them ,to bring them seperate checks.
This should put an end to your brother inviting unwanted guests.
2007-01-17 03:58:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick to your guns. Make it VERY clear to your brother that it is a great imposition to bring others to these 'family' dinners......and ESPECIALLY if they are freeloading.
He is using you and your mom for a free ride.
Dr. Phil says you have to treat people how to treat you. Might be time to set some new ground rules for how you expect your brother to treat you.
Good luck.
2007-01-17 03:54:55 · answer #6 · answered by Puzzler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is old enough to stay at home by himeself leave him at home.
If he does not want to tell his friends to leave send them home anyway. But make hime stay at home no friends.
He wants to play hardball so play his game just do it better.
He's friend will get the point when they see that you won't pay for their dinner to.
So what if your bother get a little man he won't die and he surely will get over it.
Don't let that fact you Love your bother cloud you mine.
Sometime we have to make hard choices and this is one of those times .
Good luck dear.
2007-01-17 04:14:07 · answer #7 · answered by Tom Sawyer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should start just making these dinners for you and your mother. Maybe you could hang out with your brother another time, doing something he would enjoy.
2007-01-17 03:52:35 · answer #8 · answered by BiancaVee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your Mom and leave the brother at hime with his friend. Get him something to go.
2007-01-17 03:51:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him he can't go anymore my brother pullled the same sh#t one night he asked us to take him about 45 minutes away to look at a truck he wanted to buy and didn't offer gas money.Well we ask if he was hungry and he said yeah so i knew he had cash so went and ate he ordered the most expensive thing on the menu and when they brought the check he got up and left.My hubby paid for it and we havent done anything for him since....So i would tell him he is not a bum so stop acting like one and you are not feeding his friends....and stick to it
2007-01-17 05:43:29 · answer #10 · answered by samwise25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋