Might not be able to get a midwife. Cannot conceive of delivering in hospital as being a good thing. Help?

Question

I haven't done this before, but I cannot even start to think of a hospital birth as a good idea for me or the baby -- assuming we both keep seeming as healthy as we do now.

Mr Kmennie is supportive of whatever I want to do. He doesn't see any reason for a hospital, either.

We were fairly set on renting a birthing pool and going the home-birth-with-a-midwife route, and then found out every midwife in the area has a waiting list. We're on four lists, and have been told not to give up. But.

What are the safety rates for no-midwife home births like? How positive are doulas about ditto?

If you're the home birth type and delivered in a hospital -- how did you make it a positive experience, and how much difficulty did you have fending off unwarranted interventions?

What would you do in a similar situation?

Re. "It's much safer to have a baby in a hospital" --

http://www.gentlebirth.org/ronnie/homesafe.html#safety

NO.

"There was no difference in survival rates between the babies born at home and those born in the hospital. However, there were several significant differences between the two groups. Fewer medical interventions occurred in the homebirth group. Fewer home-born babies were born in poor condition. The homebirth mothers were less likely to have suffered lacerations during birth. They were less likely to have had their labors induced or augmented by medications or to have had cesarean sections, forceps or vacuum extractor deliveries. As for maternal deaths, there were none in either group."

Answer 1

It's much safer to have a baby in a hospital. There are many unseen complications that can arise with both you and the baby. I had a huge hemorrhage after having my daughter and I almost lost my uterus. My doctor told me that if I'd been at home I would have died beofre I got to the hospital. I work with babies who have problems, and most of the problems were not known until birth. Some needed surgery right away. Of course most of the time everything turns out fine, but why risk both yours and the babies life.

It's really not that bad in a hospital. My nurses were wonderful and let me do my own thing as far as positins go, and I didn't have an epidural. Your only there for a couple of days anyways.

Answer 2

OK, I fall into the "home type who delivered in a hospital" category. I couldn't get a midwife where I was either.

First I was very clear with my OB what I wanted. It is YOUR BIRTH and they are not allowed to do anything you don't want. For labor, I didn't change into a gown for a long time, then I wanted to so I didn't mess up my own things. I also walked around a lot. I compromised some (they could monitor for a few minutes every hour, but not continuously.) I let the nurses know my birth plan, and when the shift changed (12 hour labor w/ 1st, 10 with 2nd) I let them know again. Have your husband with it, print it out, and have him advocate.

Doulas are great, but don't have extensive birth training. Most would be reluctant to attend without a midwife. You can also have a doula at the hospital or birthing center. Birth at home is fairly safe, but if something goes wrong it can go downhill fast.

Nobody really gave me much crap. I had told the OB originally that I would be at home with a midwife if possible, and I wanted everything as natural as possible. Apparently it's kind of strange for my area - the nurses told me afterward that most women get epidurals and the Dr. told me I did better than his wife with any of her 3. (!)

In the long run I am glad I wasn't at home with my 2nd- he had shoulder dystocia (he was stuck) and neither I nor my husband would have known how to maneuver him out.

Try to have a birthing center instead if you can. Take the pregnancy class of where you will deliver or at least tour. Try to labour a lot at home before you go. See if they have a squatting bar, etc & bring whatever you want.

I had a really natural delivery in the hospital. I kept the lights low, had my 6 yr old there for the birth, and did my exercises from "Birthing from Within" as I wanted. As everyone knew up front what I wanted, I didn't get much challenge- I just said no and that was it.

Good luck.

Answer 3

Try looking on the positive side. You'll have an episiotomy scar to show off at Tupperware parties, you'll be supporting the medical community, and just think of all the great stories you'll have to tell afterward. They may even make a Monty Python episode about it.

And if a hospital was good enough for Jesus, it should be good enough for you. Where would the world be if Mary and Joseph had let Jesus be born in a barn?

Seriously: don't panic. Get as much info as you can about all available procedures, set down what you do and don't want, and discuss it with your OB (you should ask him whether or not a midwife will be present in the hospital, and how he feels about anesthetics, and birth positions, and episiotomies). If you're informed, you're way ahead of the game. And don't be intimidated or put up with any BS from the medical community. Remember, half the doctors graduated in the bottom half of their class.

Also, your husband should be (and probably wants to be) your support in these matters. Talk to him about this. And take him to all the meetings with all the medical types, just to back you up.

Don't panic.

Answer 4

While I can understand that many women choose to do a home birth...I can say it is and never would be for me. Too me it is not worth taking a chance of something happening. You can take all the precautions you want and something still happen during delivery. I just dont know why you would want to take that chance.

As someone who is high risk already...I could never give birth in home...plus goodness the pain!!! I want some meds...but that is just me.

Here is the thing...you can have a birth plan. Write one out that your husband has to follow. But since you are in the hospital then if an emergency does come, you can be rushed to the ER!!! Make a birthplan...try to follow it, and then if nature cuases problems you will be okay!!!

Answer 5

Personally, I would not opt for a home birth. I feel that is is far too
risky for the mother and child. Complications can, and often do, occur in labor and delivery in otherwise healthy women that have had no complications in pregnancy.
My sister had 3 very normal pregnancies and births. She opted for a home delivery for her 4th. Everything went great until the actual delivery. The baby repositioned itself to breech. The
midwife tried to turn it. (It was a horrible, painful procedure. My sister screamed at her to stop several times, but the midwife continued because it had to be done she said.)
The midwife was unable to turn the baby. My sister started
bleeding a lot. The midwife called for an ambulance to transport
my sister to the hospital for a c section. My sister lives in the country , so it took awhile to arrive.
At the hospital they did a c section, but the baby had already died inside my sister because the placenta had torn away from the uterus already.
My sister went on to have several more children, but she always opted to have them in a hospital after that.
I do know a couple of other women who tried the home birth thing. They had complications, too. also ended up having c sections. One child is fine, the other has some brain damage from lack of oxygen to his brain because of an extended period of time until surgury could be started.

Answer 6

I don't know if you got it, but "can't conceive of giving birth in a hospital" is pretty funny. My wife worked as a midwife at one point. We were living in my tractor trailer (I drove a big truck). We met a woman in S.C. who gave birth to her first in a hospital, and she was pregnant again. She said "I'm not going to a hospital. If I die, I die." Chris put her Midwife bag in the truck. We saw the lady in her 6th month, then didn't get back that way. A week after her due date we picked up a load in Wis. going to N.C. and called her. She said, I'll wait (I think). We got there Fri. She had the baby Sabbath Morning. Mother and baby are fine. How? The Almighty blesses. Do not stress, but tell every lay person, every grandmother you know,(not that you are desperate, but that this is an exciting happening, and from where you sit you don't know how the Almighty will meet your needs, but you know He loves you and that somehow He will) and when you need help, have faith that the Almighty will do what needs to be done, (and that you will hear His voice, and know how to relate, and what you are to do.) (Wish I knew where you are, we might know someone)

Answer 7

You are getting ready to be a parent. Let me be blunt. Stop being selfish and putting your needs over that of your child. That you would even suggest doing this at home without a midwife (who IS smart enough to know that sometimes a doctor is needed) is insane. If you cannot get a midwife, have the baby in a hospital. If something happens during the birth, and there is lasting damage or death you would 1)never forgive yourself and 2)probably be brought up on criminal charges. THINK!

Answer 8

Calm down. What you need to do is go to the hospital and do a tour of the maternity ward so you have some kind of idea what to expect if you do have to go to the hospital. In the meantime, still look into getting a midwife and home birth plan if that is what you really want. When it comes to labor and delivery, you don't know what to expect you just have to be prepared for whatever may come and have plan B's in place.

Good Luck!!

Answer 9

I couldn't concieve of NOT giving birth in a hospital. With the technology, experience, etc. I feel safest in a hospital so that if ANYTHING goes wrong they are prepared. No matter where you give birth you make it what it is. You can make a hospital birth a positive one just make your wishes known right away. The baby doesn't remember the birth and he/she deserves the best care possible on opening day.

Answer 10

Try going to a GP and not an OBGYN. I did that for my first two pregnancies. I personal could not imagine having a baby at home, my first child would not be here if I had tried. It is your birth experience it will be what you make out of it. As long as you bring home a healthy baby nothing else really matters