How do you handle this, if one person is far more nitpicky than the other? Whose standard should be the rule? Should the more nitpicky person just get over it, or should the less nitpicky person hold themselves to the other's standard?
2007-01-17 03:35:32 · 21 answers · asked by Lauren M 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow! Where you peeking in at my house this past weekend? Hubby and I had a 'discussion' over this very problem! We both work full time and he is a full-time student as well. Needless to say, we end up spending most of our weekends trying to catch up with housework. I say hire a housekeeper, and he says make a plan to clean one area each night after work. That way we wouldn't have to waste our weekends cleaning. So far his idea is the one that 'went over'.......best wishes & God bless!
2007-01-17 03:42:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, tolerance and acceptance coming from both sides will help. It would be unreasonable to expect the slob to suddent become neat and organized, or the clean person to tolerate a complete pig sty. A set of reasonable guidelines could be set up, stipulating the obvious (don't leave dirty dishes in the living room, don't throw dirty socks on the floor, go through piled-up paperwork at least once a week, etc), and this should cut down on the general mess. But for things to be all the way up to the "clean" standards, the clean person just has to do some extra work - or, consider hiring a maid to help out.
2007-01-17 11:50:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let's see...
For the nitpicky person having to live with the lower standards causes stress. Evertime they have to "cleanup" after the other person it cause resentment and anger.
For the less nitpicky person they resent having to do more than they have to. It upsets them to be nagged to step up.
Hummm, maybe both need to find a better match.
2007-01-17 11:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a very neat person. I like things done a certain way. I tend to be very picky. If I want things done a certain way, that is how I feel, not every one else. I have lived with people who have other feelings on. If their is someone who wants to help me with chores, then I will take what they give me. If there is something that must be done a certain way in my mind then that's my hang up and I just do it myself. With my estranged husband, he would do certain things that I didn't much care how they were done such as laundary and taking out the trash. But I like vacuming and bathrooms cleaned a certain way, so those were my chores. Just deligate the chores as to who wants what done a certain way. If someone wants to be nitpicky they need to realize that is their way, not every one elses and they should deal with it, not the other person.
2007-01-17 11:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by lil_hem_n_va 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, like in all areas of a relationship, compromise is king here. You and he need to sit down and make some guidelines as to what is and isn't appropriate in terms of cleanliness.
Perhaps he just needs a desk or a room to himself to keep his mess out of the rest of the house, or perhaps he just needs to let the dishes sit in the sink for a couple of days before getting the motivation to clean them. You have to work on a solution so that both of you are happy or it will become a huge point of contention between you.
Don't be afraid to divy up the chore list, maybe you can do the dishes and he can take out the trash or something? Remember as well, a lot of times it can be a good experience to do chores together!
2007-01-17 11:40:01 · answer #5 · answered by QuestionWyrm 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
simple---let the nitpicky person handle and take care of anything that they are nitpicky about....the other can do some of the other chores
2007-01-17 12:13:30 · answer #6 · answered by sunbun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that they should compromise - it's ridiculous the place being really messy but similarly there's no need for it to be perfect. if the messier one shows a bit more care, then if the nitpicky one still can't cope then they should tidy the remaining mess away to their standard.
2007-01-17 11:38:51 · answer #7 · answered by rach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They should both clean....and then the nitpicky one should do whatever is necessary to make it come up to their standards.
2007-01-17 11:38:44 · answer #8 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There is no winning with a person who nitpicks, just be the bigger one, and when they are not around clean how you want and if they change it you both get want you want in the end anyway. Even more as long as the house is clean, hell let them do it just sit back and relax they will maybe get tired of cleaning all the time and ask you to do it. Good luck.
2007-01-17 11:40:58 · answer #9 · answered by nina_ross692000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband is a pack rat and he is also messy.I am a neat freak and I don't believe in holding on to things.I like to clean out the old to make way for the new.He keeps everything.But I know that I am a clean freak.So I don't take it out on him.If I am bothered by something I fix it.Being a nit picky person has you put it.Is your deal not your spouses.So you can't lay your dysfunction at their door.So basically I am saying get over it.
2007-01-17 17:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋