my husband is very controlling, i understand paying the bills with my checks, and his, but i asked him one day why he needs my checks all he said was, your checks really don't help but the do alittle, i said then why don't you let me be responsible for my checks, all he had to say was, so i can show you how to be responsible.
he also holds me down to in a room so i can't go anywhere, saying were going to talk now!! he said so i can't go hurt myself, when there any other problem, he likes to say whats wrong with you even when i already told him like three times, and then he finds away to backfire on me
i've already told him i think we should go to counceling, but he refuses to go, he said if he thinks theres a problem then we'll go..
i don't know what to do, i love him soo much, i'm a mess.. thankyou
2007-01-17 03:00:37 · 20 answers · asked by darkfairiy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he said when we first got married, he'd never hit a women, he said if he was to hit me, he'd never forgive him self
2007-01-17 03:33:36 · update #1
I agree with the co-depenent response....you need to leave him and become happy with yourself first!
2007-01-17 03:08:25 · answer #1 · answered by Back in the game... 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody deserves to be treated like this! I know from experience the control freaks never change. Let me ask you, do you feel so controlled that you feel like a caged animal? These feelings are not normal. It is not normal for a person to hold so much control over another human being. These type of people are so insecure with themselves that they thrive on dominating the ones they are with. I say get out while you still can!
2007-01-17 03:07:44 · answer #2 · answered by ryanisonthescene 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For him there is no problem as long as he is in control. If you don't like his controling then get out of the marriage' or does he control that to? You need psycological help before you can do anything. How long has he controled you, does he know your on this web site? Get help or you'll always be this way.
2007-01-17 03:22:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, why did you not see this in him when you were dating?
Are you drawn to controling men?
Sorry but I think you need to divorse.
Then you need to sit down and write out what you need in a relationship. If the people you date don't match then you need to stop dating them and find a better match.
Oh wait, I should not have to direct you in this you should know what to do.
2007-01-17 03:27:56 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not a healthy marriage, especially since he refuses to go to counseling with you. Because his control could escalate into violence, you should consider ending the marriage, get away from him!
2007-01-17 03:19:29 · answer #5 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that if he didn't go get counseling, I'm leaving. Why do you think your in love with a person that makes you feel like crap? Why do you want to stay with a person that makes you feel bad? Life is too short.
2007-01-17 03:11:04 · answer #6 · answered by Xena 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're not a mess, you're co-dependent. And you're not in love with him, you just imagine that you are.
He sure as hell isn't in love with you. Trust your gut on that.
If your sister or best friend told you that her man treated her that way, what would you tell her to do?
I could go on all day here, but I'm gonna stop
2007-01-17 03:04:49 · answer #7 · answered by Ade 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Leave him or give him some space until he agrees to go to counseling. If he never shows then you know it's done. Good Luck.
2007-01-17 03:08:48 · answer #8 · answered by abeauty1102 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its in their nature. But he's an asshole for telling you that. Im so sorry to hear these. But try to talk to him in a mild manner. Tell what you feel, isnt he sensitive enough that youre both not on the 'winning' in here. It has to be always the old fashion'give and take'.
2007-01-17 03:18:25 · answer #9 · answered by shanekeavy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are already a prisoner. Get out of there. He will only get worse. A control freak is a dangerous animal. Make an escape plan and stick to it. (And get a good lawyer).
2007-01-17 03:06:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Nikki. Besides, if your in a relationship and your hurting yourself, your clearly not very happy in the relationship. You need meds and a new man.
2007-01-17 03:09:01 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋