Yes, I know divorce can be an option, This is his 3rd marriage and the other 2 did not last even a year...I know that he has a huge commitment problem, but know one made him be responsibile for his actions so they walk away and he gets away with it. I'm reminding him that he has to make-up for it even if it does lead to seperating. Why is it hard for men to be faithful-- when they can have everything with a willing wife?
2007-01-17 02:38:26 · 10 answers · asked by lazykat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is not hard for all men to be faithful....some men choose not to be. He does not care enough about you to keep his promise of commitment and I am guessing that his other marriages may have failed because of similar circumstances.....You are not the one at fault and he probably does love you to the best of his ability.....The question you have to ask yourself again though is do you want this for your life? The likelihood of him changing is probably little to none....The only behavior you can change is your own......You cannot make him do anything he does not want to do. You can not will him into faith fullness. So the question becomes what is acceptable for you. What can you live with. Do you just want him to be honest with you about who else he is sleeping with. Do you want to be included in his extra-marital affairs......Again this is only something you can answer. No-one can tell you what you morally find acceptable. I would not want to be married to anyone who wants to sleep with another person...but there are many married couples who live a swinger lifestyle...I don't believe that you should go against what you believe to stay married to this man though. If you adopted a swinger lifestyle just to stay married to a man and every day you felt yourself slip away then you are selling yourself for someone not worth the cost at all.
2007-01-17 02:58:13 · answer #1 · answered by Mum3grls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gets away with what? Cheating? He doesn't have either caring wife anymore, so how can you say he got away with anything? And, knowing what you knew about this guy, you still married him and you;re surprised he cheated? That's just his lifestyle, and the only way he'll stop is when he's too tired to carry on that lifestyle. Why would you marry someone like that?
2007-01-17 02:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all men are like the men you have been dating or have been around. You must attract or be attracted to these men that have commitment issues or are unfaithful. You already knew he couldn't make two other marriages work, what made you think the 3rd one will/would work?
2007-01-17 02:45:53 · answer #3 · answered by mvas800 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The problem here is not him. He is being himself. The problem is that you thought you could be the one. Well you are not. Get a divorce. he is going to continue to be this way till the weight of what he will lose out weighs what he thinks he is gaining by cheating and being irresponsible in the relationship.
2007-01-17 02:48:34 · answer #4 · answered by Richard Bricker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You chose to marry and get pregnant with someone you recognize as a "bad boy". You liked the bad boy enough to marry him. Perhaps you were expecting your love to change him, to transform him like a Beauty & the Beast fairy tale. Unfotunately for you, this is real life, and real life doesn't work that way. You have made your bed and now you must lie in it. Make sure you buy him condoms whenever you go to the drug store, and make him wear them when he has sex with you, because he's going to keep having sex with other people and you should strive to avoid both diseases and additional pregnancies.
2007-01-17 02:47:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he could use some counseling to work through these problems. I don't think he is too happy with himself. He has issues to work out before he can give his full self to a relationship. If he is willing to get help , then it may be worth saving. I'd try everything I could to get him some help first. It would have been better to get these things worked out before you married him, but it's never too late to try and save your marriage if you are commited to it and to him.
2007-01-17 02:45:03 · answer #6 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is always more to the story. I would love to help but if it isn't working for you and you have tried EVERYTHING then you have only one option. Take the time to know the person first before getting married.
2007-01-17 02:43:15 · answer #7 · answered by cowboybronco01 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's NOT hard for men to be faithful. You just need to find a man who is. Your husband obviously cares about no one and no thing but himself. Let him live alone with his selfishness. You can find a good, decent man. There ARE plenty of them out there. Please don't degrade yourself staying with this louse. Don't let him blame YOU for his cheating. That's the lowest of the low. Don't let your baby grow up seeing this and therefore thinking that it's normal to cheat, or to allow yourself to be degraded that way.
2007-01-17 02:47:45 · answer #8 · answered by Jess H 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they have been abandoned somewhere in life by someone and it impacted them emotionally. So now they have a hard time attaching to someone, for fear of rejection or the person leaving.
You will not change him, quit wasting your time.
he needs counsel ling and a professional to help him through this.
You are neither of these.....and will not solve anything, you will get frustrated and get angry, not helping either of you.
He can't do it, he doesn't have the emotional tools to do it.
2007-01-17 02:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He has the problem, not you so let him go and find someone who will be right for you...it's not your fault...he will never commit correctly.
2007-01-17 02:43:12 · answer #10 · answered by angelic1302 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋