I know this is rather open ended, and I mean for it to be.
But just what to you do, when the person you're married to has completely shut down as far as sex goes? Everything else is fine, they just have turned asexual towards sex with you.
Before you ask, they've been talked to about this, and they feel like its your problem for wanting sex... and that they dont see it as unreasonable for them to expect you to just go without.
Also it been over two years like this.
2007-01-17 02:37:57 · 37 answers · asked by JRSK007 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you are going to ask questions, please provide an email contact so that your questions can be answered. (Debbie)
2007-01-24 09:08:14 · update #1
I am surprised how many people post, without even trying to answer the question. Really folks, if you aren't going to answer the question then don't get up on a soap box and spout off your pet theories.
2007-01-25 00:27:41 · update #2
http://www.divorcebusting.com/sb_sex_starved_marriage.htm
read this. buy the book. make your spouse read it. maybe it can offer some insight. I know I can't. it is hard to be married in this situation. best of luck to you.
2007-01-17 02:45:32 · answer #1 · answered by michele46us 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How much sex are we talking about? Is there an insecurity on your part that is helped by sex? Some have monster sex drives and it always becomes a problem when they get into a relationship . If she can't talk about it and won't act on your needs where and what do you do, is that the question? Are you stinky? Maybe kinky? I know I'm not answering your question but I fail to understand this myself. Why do people start relationships and then expect them to change? Find someone you can get your freak on with and then build from there. In the end you might be the one wanting a break.
2007-01-24 14:11:47 · answer #2 · answered by collinbarnette 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have put up with this for 2 years? It must be love. However you are normal to want sex and what you have to do is decide how to handle it. You get some counseling and explore with your counselor the options you have, that is, if you haven't already thought about it. Or, just list the pros and cons of this relationship and see where the balance is. You just may need out of the relationship entirely. Or would sex toys solve your sexual problem if your partner is the hugging and loving type? You are going to have to take stock of what you have and then check what you have given up, for the rest of your life. Decide what YOU DESERVE, not your partner and go for it.
2007-01-17 02:46:29 · answer #3 · answered by Zenawoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of your answer has to do with alot of detail left out. Are u married and if yes, how long? Have u ever been unfaithful? Do u still treat them like your best partner? In other words, do u still show them love in other ways besides the bed? If this is something that has been going on very long, u might do some snooping and see if there is some sneaking around going on. As far as it being wrong for u to want an intimate relationship still has to do with alot of info needed thats left out. Sorry
2007-01-24 08:57:23 · answer #4 · answered by Debbie A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming you are a man. It may be that wife does not feel like you are turned on by her anymore. LET HER KNOW THAT YOU ARE. In the bedroom, a woman's self-confidence is everything. If she thinks she is unattractive, it will be hard for her to get "in the mood".
If this is not the case and she just doesnt want to have sex, she should at least make sure that your needs are met. Two years without sex is ridiculous.
I wouldn't recommend cheating on her, she will take you to the cleaners in a divorce if you do that. Not to mention it is immoral and wrong.
Try marriage / sex counseling. If that doesn't work, you may want to consider divorce if sex is that important to you. Remember that it is YOUR life, you only get one, so make it a happy one!
2007-01-17 02:53:19 · answer #5 · answered by AnswerQueen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
an relationship is not about Sex only.. it is a union of hearts.. try talking to your partner about what went wrong.. why this is so and figure out how things can resolved.. ask why they do not feel like having sex.. going by your words that everything else is normal.. your partner would listen to you and give you their view.. If it is something related to physical disorder or problem.. take her to a doctor else take her to a psychiatrist/consellor.. after doing all these..if nothing works out.. go to a corner think about it.. is sex the only thing in life.. or does all the relationship need to have sex.. then come to a decision to move ahead..
2007-01-24 22:00:16 · answer #6 · answered by ThisisMe 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know the relationship is over when the thought of having sex with your spouse kills your desire to masturbate.
If it's been 2 years without sexual contact, trust me, the relationship is NOT fine everywhere else. Sounds like you have a couple of possible problems.
A. The spouse is cheating...
B. They're using sex to control the relationship or punish you for something they didn't like.
C. There's some medical condition involved.
Find out which one it is and deal with it headon. If this doesn't work, move on.
2007-01-24 07:26:40 · answer #7 · answered by woobinator 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People are speaking as if this woman just simply refuses to have sex with this guy. Maybe he has not been attentive.... maybe they are not communicating. If there was once a good sexual relationship and now there is not one... something is missing in the relationship. Talk to her..... talk this out ... find out why she doesn't want sex. Plan a romantic night with her... take her out to dinner... buy her flowers... etc... listen to her when she talks to you. Then if you can't work it out between the two of you, you will need to speak with a counselor to find out what went wrong and how to fix it. Don't use this as an excuse to divorce until you have did everything possible to fix the relationship.
2007-01-24 05:30:56 · answer #8 · answered by AMoRous 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in total 100% agreement with you and I thoroughly sympathize. Everyone is going to say Counseling or Leave her.......total Bull $hit. For me, the marriage is actually perfect - no fighting, in-laws are incredible(and rich), it's just the sex life is virtually non-existant (except when she's had too much to drink). What you need to do is find a regular, on-the-side, safe as hell friend. They are not easy to find. But trust me, it's the only way to go - I have 3 of them. Lol. Cheers ! (and maybe kidding)
2007-01-17 02:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by Lexington 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey man try 9 years I know exactly what your going through, I bet you really love her too. It's a real hard dillema when there is so many ready and willing females out there and hear we sit with our cocks in our hands, what the **** did we do to deserve this punishment. I don't know about you but porn is okay but it's not the same ther's nothing like the real taste, smell and feel of a woman. Sometimes in life you come to a crossroads should I stay or should I go? I'm 45 years old and I still don't know, maybe I'll become a priest or something??????????????????????????????????????????????
2007-01-17 02:51:16 · answer #10 · answered by WURSTNGHTMARE61 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a very one sided relationship. If your partner has stopped having sex then the question is have they stopped or just stopped with you? I really think that you need to evaluate what is important to you in life. I think that after the evaluation you might also look at the one sided thinking. If your partner has a physical issue then it needs to be addressed by a Dr. Other than that I would not want to be in a realtionship that is sexless. However that is me and you have to choose what you can live with.
2007-01-17 02:45:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋