How should I break it to my friend that Ive decided to get an abortion(at 5wks) instead of keep our baby?

Question

Hes a very understanding person and weve kept communication open & honest.I DID say that I didnt want to get rid of it & he doesnt "believe"in abortion himself, so how can I tell him Ive changed my mind and no longer think that having this baby is the best thing to do? Adoption is not an option for me.If I give birth to a child,Im raising my child.I could not give them away.So therefore, I must abort.Unless God takes care of it by blessing me with a miscarriage real soon.We're good friends so I dont want to hurt him or our relationship. I dont like the idea of abortion myself but I REALLY DONT like the idea of bringing an innocent being into my life at this time.Its just not wise.I struggle to support myself and 7yr old daughter already.Having a baby by somebody Im not married to or even serious with for that matter just seems like a bad idea.I would feel FAKE if I continued on with this pregnancy.Itd be going against who I am and what I believe is the right thing to do.

Answer 1

Just explain it to him like you did above.

He should be understanding, and if not, it's still your body and your choice.

Answer 2

Hi there,

I am wondering if adoption isn't an option for you because of the worry about your child. I am an adoptive Mom of a five year old son and would love to adopt again. If you decide that this may be something you would consider, anything from completely closed to a very open adoption, I would love to talk to you, and the potential birthfather.

If abortion is the choice that you feel is best for you, just be certain that you get counseling for yourself and have support for yourself afterwards. The counselor may even support you in telling your friend, and could be there to assist you while you let him know.

I hope everything works out for you. If you would like to talk or have any questions, please feel free to contact me at [e-mail] Take care, Jen

Answer 3

I don't have any children, but I definitely want at least three children in the future :) If I was pregnant, I would only tell my husband what names I would like to name our daughter or son, because at the end of day, it's the mother's and father's decisions and nobody elses. I would keep a secret, so after the baby is boring everyone gets a nice surprise (: I don't want to sound mean, but I kinda think your sister-in-law was rude about not loving her future niece. I mean, it's her niece! You can't paint every Evelyn's with the same brush. I think Evelyn is a lovely name, it's beautiful and it ages well. You can also shorten it to Eve or Evie, which is sweet. One of my close friends friend's is called Evelyna, and I think that's cute. I think it's cool that you are going to name your daughter Evelyn. Don't worry about what your sister-in-law thinks, because when your baby comes, she'll change her mind. Good luck and congratulations :) xoxo

Answer 4

You no longer want the child....so you're going to kill it? It ticks me off that they do the act, then don't want to deal with the consequences that come along with it. There are so many people out there who can't have children and would give anything to adopt one, and then there are morons out there who are irresponsible and use abortion as a convenience because they don't want it right now. A miscarriage would not be a blessing from God....what would be a blessing is that you NEVER conceive another child again. If you didn't want another child in the first place, you should have taken other precautions so you wouldn't get pregnant, like protection, or not even having sex at all. You said it's not even someone you are serious with, so if it's not serious, why are you sleeping with him? God is going to damn your soul if you kill that child, and you will spend eternity in Hell getting what you deserve.

I would also like to add something here....I have a friend who has been married 6 years and a sister in law who has been married 10. These 2 couples, for different reasons, can not have children and have been trying their entired married life. My sister in law has had 2 miscarriages. My grandmother had 3 miscarriages before my mom and 4 more after my mom, making my mom an only child. I thank God for my mom making it. I thank God for my sister keeping my beautiful neice instead of aborting her when her fiancee decided he wanted nothing to do with her ever again. What will your daughter think when she gets older and finds out you KILLED the brother or sister she could have had. The best thing that you can do for that child is to LET IT LIVE AND GIVE IT FOR ADOPTION TO SOMEONE WHO WILL CARE AND LOVE FOR IT SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE NO CONCERN FOR ANYONE OTHER THAN YOURSELF.

Answer 5

Since your question is "how should I break it to my friend" and not "should I have an abortion" I will restrict my answer to your question only and not my personal views on the situation...

Just sit him down and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you have decided that this is not in your best interest or his. You are not committed to one another and don't feel that a baby would benefit by being brought into the situation. Tell him you do not want to lose him as a friend or companion and you hope he can understand and support your decision. You must understand however that he may get upset and you have to allow him to express his feelings too. Make an agreement between the 2 of you that you will never let this happen again (getting pregnant by him)

I hope it all works out for you.

Answer 6

Don't listen to the anti-choice zealots. You are the most important person in this decision. You will be the one to suffer the consequences of your decision for the rest of your life. A man can walk away and forget. The baby will never know if you don't have it. You will either have the responsibility of caring for the child if you have it, or feeling the pain of knowing you gave it away if you adopt it out, or the regret if you have an abortion. Only you can decide what you are most willing to live with. Regret from having an abortion does go away, and in many situations, it is the most sensible decision. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

Best you simply not tell him and never speak to him ever again. Because he will hate you forever (and with good reason) and never, ever forgive you, no matter what he might say to the contrary.

Abortion is a heinously evil act. You've obviously managed to lie to yourself about that. But, here is the rub, you will not be able maintain the lie after the fact, unless you are a sociopath or something worse. For the rest of your life, every single day, you will wake up in the morning filled with regret and you will go to bed that night feeling shame. That is just the way things are. And not all the rationalizing in the world will change that consequence. Of course, no one will tell you this, especially not those evil people at the abortion clinic.

A similar reaction will happen in your man. If he is the typical idiot with his head up his ***, he will tell you it's OK, and might even act like its OK....until afterward. Then, he will hate you. He may or may not be in your face about it. But, one thing is certain, he won't be around you much after that. He will no longer look at you as being someone of any worth whatsoever. Your "friendship" will be over...as you are no friend to him, if you can do something as bad as that to him.

These are some of the unavoidable consequences of abortion. There is an old saying....God gave us freewill.....however, you cannot choose the consequences. These are two, in a long list, of negative consequences.

Answer 8

Are you sure you an abortion. I never understood how people say they will have an abortion, and not give a baby up for a adoption. You will be giving life to a baby, and a baby to someone who can not have one. Adoption is an act of love. I is not a easy thing, but that person inside you could be something.
If you get an abortion, please really some people feel guilty for the rest of your life.
To tell you friend, just be honest. Ask him to come with you.
Good luck
Take care of yourself

Answer 9

Most importantly be honest and don't let anyone's opinion sway you. You have a mind of your own and yes you are responsible for getting pregnant, but you are also responsible for the upbringing of this baby. If you don't feel you can properly raise the child, then your only options are adoption or abortion.
Be strong and do what you think is best for the future of this child.
Good Luck and my thoughts are with you.

Answer 10

Ignore the hypocritical anti-choice people on here. Anyone who can label another person as a monster and evil aren't capable of making informed decisions as they don't understand the harsh world around them. The worst case scenario is rarely the real world result.

The straight forward approach is more often than not the best. If you can't do that then write him a note and ask him in person to read it while you are gone and discuss it later.

Answer 11

You mention "If I give birth to a child, I could not give them away". But that's essentially what you're doing with abortion. You are denying your son/daughter the ability to ever exist ! If you don't believe in adoption only because of how YOU feel, you're being extremely selfish. You're just using abortion as an "easy way out" for yourself.

Have the baby, and put it up for adoption. If you can't support them, it is the right thing to do. Someone who can't have kids or likes adopting children will make a good home for them.