My husband and I are in our 30's and have 4 children between us from previous marriages. We have a 9, 6, 5 and 4 year old. His two children live in a different state but he sees them every month and my 9 year old son and 5 year old daughter live with us. We've been married to each other for 8 months and are still in the 'undecided' stages of having a baby. I'm just looking for previous experience advice, or maybe something we hadn't taken into consideration from some outside-looking-in people.
2007-01-17 02:17:11 · 11 answers · asked by thelilred_whocould 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Keep in mind I'm not looking to pregnant tomorrow :P I'm just looking for different aspects and opinions and maybe things I hadn't thought of before. We aren't ready right now - but having a baby requires a LOT of thought, and it's never too early to start deciding for the future. :) Thanks!!
2007-01-17 02:31:40 · update #1
If it's something you truly want, go for it. A strong couple can make anything work. But make sure you ARE a strong couple: imagine if you got divorced again, and how complicated your children's lives would be then. Also don't feel that you have to have a baby with this new husband to validate the relationship. You can still have a "real" marriage without having a baby together. Only the two of you can make the right decision. Good luck.
2007-01-17 02:21:08 · answer #1 · answered by mandygirl78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say that in general, second babies fit into a family so much easier than first babies do - when you have your first child you are going from a couple to a family, but when your second child arrives you're just adding another child to the family. I must also say that you get way more help with your daughter than I have ever done, your husband bathes your baby, which mine has never done, and he never took care of an 18 month old for one day a week either. Could you both talk to a Family Counsellor who might have some insight into why your husband feels this way .... it could be that he wasn't loved and nurtured himself when he was a baby. My late husband was so happy when we had a daughter, much more than he would have been if we'd had a boy, but he was one of five sons in his family and a boy being born just meant he had to share everything with another brother, but a girl was different - he was delighted! I'm wondering if there is something deeper going on with your husband.
2016-05-23 23:57:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were going to have a baby in your situation I would look at financial matters first and see if you both can afford to have a new addition. As you may not be able to work while you are pregnant due to morning sickness etc.
And also you haven't been married long enough for all the dynamics of having all the other children to care for and they are all so young not to mention your relationship with your husband your probably still getting to know him.
2007-01-17 02:28:25 · answer #3 · answered by redrose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you only been married for 8 months, I would hold off adding another person to the household, I do believe there will be more stress and friction. Blended families are hard enough, everyone trying to get along under one roof. I would wait a couple of years, if I were you and then begin discussion on having a baby
2007-01-17 02:25:36 · answer #4 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no law that you have to have a baby with everybody you marry. You already have 4 children between you -- that's enough!
2007-01-17 02:21:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go for it :-) You are married, and you both should have a "peice" of the both of you walking this earth when you move on to the next life. Besides, it'll be fun in the process ! Have fun and good luck!
2007-01-17 02:21:34 · answer #6 · answered by Mother of One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself if you really want a baby?not because your husband want one man Will come and go but your children Willl all way be with you! and make sure you could take care of your children without him in these days you can never torus man they might say they love today but tomorrow wil be a different story. i have two kids same daddy but he dose not even pay child support not even help me take care of them but its o.k i take care of them there are kids
2007-01-17 02:36:56 · answer #7 · answered by asia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1
2017-03-01 01:49:55 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should wait atlease 3 to 6 years and what the hurry you two already have kids
2007-01-17 02:26:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
JUST MAYBE 4 IS ENOUGH
BUT HEY THATS YOUR CUP OF TEA
GOOD LUCK
THEY CALL ME DRz
2007-01-17 02:23:36 · answer #10 · answered by drzthephotoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋