i am 23, my marriage last month lasted for 5 days. i am in the process of divorce. i married a crazy girl. i am an extreme heavy drinker & just feel like drinking myself to death. I had lot of expectations from my marriage. now it is all over, how the hell do i recover from this? i hate living by myself,
2007-01-17 02:09:47 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go to AA and proceed through the 12 Steps from beginning to end. Once your sponsor tells you that you are ready, start dating again. The lack of an alcohol haze clouding your judgment will help you make better decisions about potential mates, and you will not likely pick a crazy woman next time.
2007-01-17 02:15:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously I don't know a lot of the background here and i know it is hard to do, but perhaps it is worth looking at the positives here. In a way you have had a lucky escape - perhaps you can even get the marriage annulled? If it had been say 5 months instead of 5 days, you may have bought a house together, accumulated a load of debt and got pregnant together ... and then you would have had this crazy girl tied to you for the rest of your life. Please think of it this way. You sound like you want someone, not this person and you are only 23, chin up, take some time and you will be grand. The fact that you mention the drinking makes me think you don't have a problem, you;re just having a rough time, hiding it and denial is a much bigger symptom of a drinking problem.
2007-01-17 02:37:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lucky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two things: time and quitting drinking. Have you stopped to think about the fact that alcohol is a depressant? It doesn't make things better. It will, in fact, make you more depressed and feel even more miserable. Face this head-on and don't drown yourself in more alcohol!!! Talk to someone -- a therapist or other professional. Whenever any relationship ends, it is devastating. You really need to talk it through with someone that actively listens and offers advice (they will tell you to stop drinking, too!). After time passes, you will see that it will get easier. It's hard to see the forest through the trees right now, but it will get easier.
Also, forgive youself. You are miserable because you feel guilty. Know that you're a good person, otherwise you wouldn't feel so badly about it. Learn from this experience and pick your head up off your chest and move forward. Good luck and take care of yourself.
2007-01-17 02:20:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that. I was in a similar situation, but was able to get out before marriage(3 months before ). It's better to cry now than to cry later. Could you imagine being in this relationship down the road? Having drawn closer to her the pain would be greater and deeper, and much harder to recover from. I suggest you do what I did; get out more, meet new people, see new places, and don't go in the house until you're ready to sleep. This is also an ideal time to draw closer to the "Universal Sovereign" as he can be the ultimate healer for you, engulf yourself in his word. I'm 22, I've just visited different states for the first time, gonna visit more, and I plan on seeing other countries this year. Enjoy single life and be glad you're not connected to her through your child. Granted it will be lonely sometimes, but embrace the "Word of God" he is always with us. Enjoy life with caution,and I Wish You The Best.
2007-01-17 02:35:25 · answer #4 · answered by The one that makes the rain stop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are a heavy drinker, did your wife know this? That could be why it didn't work ? Do you feel you need help? Finding the right AA group can really help you.... I know exactly where you're coming from, I too hate being alone, I've been divorced for 2 years...... I'm dating some now thanks to AA and a whole new outlook on life........ MY life! Do NOT drink yourself to death, That's the easy way out.... get tough (on yourself) look in the mirror and tell yourself I'm GONNA MAKE IT !!
Wright me if you want
2007-01-17 02:29:36 · answer #5 · answered by rck_yrs 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get over the habit of drinking, i.e., don't drink in the name of an unsuccessful marriage. My sympathies. But from your question I could understand you are quite clear of what has taken place and what is necessary to overcome! Counselling sessions and initially minimising and totally stopping at a later date of the drinking habit may be better. This is to build up your confidence and as well as general health to lead a normal life. My best wishes for better days ahead.
VR
2007-01-17 02:20:23 · answer #6 · answered by sarayu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Phil man think this out bro I to had a deal like yours but it was a20 year marriage I'am A drunk I don't drink any more man but I known drinking will not help you at this Point It takes Time I known it sucks but that the bottom line your a young man and you can find another Woman for sure man I'am pulling for you stay cool,
2007-01-17 02:18:16 · answer #7 · answered by rickkritcher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your marriage. Think of it as a new beginning and a lesson. Slow down on the booze, it won't make it disappear. There are lots of things you can do to recover. You are still young. It took me till I was 34 to find my husband. Set new goals for yourself, find new hobbies. Good friends will do wonders. It's okay. Everything will be alright.
2007-01-17 02:15:12 · answer #8 · answered by Mother of One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was only 5 day then what the hell is there to recover from? and how long did you even know her? Sounds like you need to work on you and your drinking first before you think about an relationship.
2007-01-17 02:16:01 · answer #9 · answered by tall_slimm 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe she isn't the crazy one. You need to stop drinking so you can think about your life. And you shouldn't get married because you don't like living by yourself.
2007-01-17 02:15:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋